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Man or woman, what does it take for you to stop pursing another person in a social gathering when it is obvious that someone else is interested and the person you are pursuing is showing interest in the both of you? I tend to be the first to let the other guy have it because I really hate competing in the open.
For example, I was at a house warming party over the weekend. Complete with Dj, bartenders, and servers. So i am near the dancing area and a female approaches me. She was absolootley amazing looking. I could tell that she had a few drinks but wasn't completely smashed. So we got to talking and dancing on the spot. However, I did set my intentions early and invited her to hang out afterwards alone and she agreed. Time passed and a friend approached. I excused myself to get him a drink as a welcome.
When I came back, ole girl was gone. I told my friend that I knew she would be back because we hit it off. Moments later, I saw her dancing with another man but she kept eying me and I knew she would be back so I played it cool. And sure enough she came back. We started dancing on the spot but then she saw her friend. She pulled me over to be closer to her friend who just so happened to be dancing with that same dude. So she let go of me to dance with her friend. The guy came between them to have fun but I wasn't interested so I gracefully kissed her and thanked her and went back to my friend. We eventually went outside to the pool deck where the other people were. Time passed and I saw ole girl and ole dude together holding hands. I believe they left together.
So, I prolly could have been with her and could have even bogarted on ole dude- meaning, blocked him and tell him to beat it but I am not that type of guy- especially when a female is openly embracing the attention from both men. Had it been my wife or girlfriend, for sure. But I choose simply not to compete. In hindsight, I do think that it could have been me but ole dude stepped up and she took more interest in his pursuit after I left the dancefloor but then again, I simply chose not to be part of the prize winning contest. This is why I don't like being told that I am part of the multi-dating system you often find online in order for a person to choose the "best" candidate. But on the contrary, I find many man are really insecure when they are around their women and feel the need to kiss them or hold them as the two approach me as if I am going to steal their women. I refuse to act this way by grabbing the lady I am with simply because we pass by another man. It shows extreme weakness in a man.
Anyone else not like competing and rather let the other person have it? Or are you the type to bogart? I have seen many female cat fights happen over bogartting.
I am not a competing person, or game person-far as social situations go. I am not a temptress, seductress, or flirty. I can only be me. If it's not enough, then I won't be starting anything with that guy. If he goes to another woman, he's not too interested. lol Oh well. I don't do games, and haven't since 8th grade.
Well, there were options between letting her go totally on her way all the rest of the evening and "telling him to beat it"! If you want to tell yourself that you somehow took the high road rather than maybe inciting a fight then you're kidding yourself. There is a continuum...you could have more assertively pursued additional conversation with her through the evening in any number of ways.
But you can do whatever you want depending on all the variables - your degree of attraction, the degree of her attraction, her attraction to someone else, etc.
Doesn't sound like she was ever "yours" to "keep" all to yourself and she liked receiving the attention from more than one man. And even having the thought of getting physical over a woman you don't even know is crazy....in fact, getting physical over any woman is. If it was your girlfriend or your wife, hopefully they would have more class than to flit back and forth between two men like a ping pong ball. Since she is not in a relationship with you than she can flit all she wants.
Never had that happen. I was trying to make friends with a girl who seemed more into this one guy in my class. He was kinda cute but didn't seem worth pursuing. Joke was on her because he dropped out a few weeks later.. haha!
You were there first but the other guy was more interesting to her. You were her backup plan.
I don't compete. A guy either likes me or not. I give signals and then the ball is in his corner.
I don't understand how people can go on that bachelors tv show and act like animals in heat. I would feel like an idiot.
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