Quote:
Originally Posted by ippn1
Yeah i know... we have never talked about moving in together and we have never talked about her wanting a baby...
one time couple months ago when we were out - she was drunk and the conversation was about the other friend who just became a father... she said to my friend shes gonna have a baby in a year or two because she 28. she also said its gonna be mine or someone elses... She didnt say it to me, she said that to my best friend, i was walking behind them sober (i dont know if she was aware of that)... So i said to her how is she planing to make a baby??? she said ONE time when your mother is not going to be at home and lights will be off (that was her defense - 1/2 year in relationship when i had not own my own place yet and i did not want to have sex when we were making out because my mother was in the next room and it was a daytime...that was only once).
I knew right away this is a red flag or whatever you called strange signs... i was in loved and rather looked away. i waited so long for someone really special to come along, and i was pretty sure she was special for a very very long time. Every time she hurt me or did something i was not fond of it I rather looked away thinking every woman has her own mistakes/bad sides...
but yeah, we have never discussed about her plans - moving in or having a baby. i suspect if we stayed together i d be getting an ultimatum pretty soon...
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Wow. The baby, in a year or two, would be yours
or someone else's? Weird thing to say. Huge red flag.
The rest of the bolded sounds like someone in a first ever relationship. There's a learning curve involved as to evaluating how much to tolerate, and what kind of thing should be tolerated, vs. what kind of thing is a deal-breaker. Don't beat yourself up about it. You actually did a pretty good job of dodging a bullet. I'd be curious to see where she's at relationship-wise in a couple of years. Unless she finds a guy with a low sex drive (or secretly fails to use birth control in her once-every-two-months schedule), my guess is: nowhere.
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