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For the past 2 months, I have been seeing this guy, he lives 45 minutes away but does drive, going to college to earn his degree in Psychology, has a job and has his own place. Over these past 2 months him and I have gone out on 6 dates, varying from different events, really enjoying each other's company too.
During our time together we have also discussed a lot of things from us becoming Boyfriend/Girlfriend, to past relationships dealing with our Ex's to the future like kids, marriage, sex, sexual experiences etc. But here's the issue, this guy experienced a little kid drowning in a pool while he was at someone's house, so that caused him to get PTSD - Post traumatic stress disorder, he then told me he suffers from ADHD - Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder as well as Dyslexia where it's hard for him to express himself through writing, like texting or other forms of writing up words in the proper way.
Out of all of this I have been there for him and have accepted him and want us to continue dating and communicating with one another and see where it goes from this point onward. But again these 3 things causes him to act up, like his PTSD has him have these episodes of breakdowns where he doesn't feel like himself. Like he texted me just last night and told me this "John (cries) then says: "This is me sounding like a little ***** again. I am just enjoying our time together because I'm not cool enough about it. I don't deserve anything better that's why I know you're never going to want to be my girlfriend, I give up".
Before he had said that, our previous conversation began with him asking me
"For 10 white 10 things you don't like and 10 things you do like about me"
I had given him my lists.
Then he says "Conern"
Then he says "Any sexual videos or picks with exes to be aware of so no surprise"
I gave my response he then says "Because because I'm like everyone else only your exes are that special I just don't even care about doing anything sexual for a long time but it's true always the jerks nice guys always assume to be *******s that's something that bothers me not because the sexual stuff but because you would trust them and assume that I'm just like them"
He then says "Just a fantasy"
I had asked him what he meant by that and he says "To be desired the way your ex R or better but now I'm always guy who's where you can I wish I was Raymond drugs as those bad boys every girl I have room in my heart for ditched me I wish I could gt you to love me like I was e"
"I know now you never want to be my girlfriend I understand"
"I know I know I blew it now"
"Can we talk"
He did have a previous epioside like this one where this similar thing happened and now this one happened. I just don't know what to do or how to help him. What would you do in this situation? Have any of you dealt with this sort of thing before? Please help!
FYI...text conversations are very difficult to decipher and painful to read.
Sounds like the guy is really depressed or otherwise just fishing around to get you to be his girlfriend in a very passive-aggressive way. It's not your job fix him or make him better...you're barely even dating. Don't think that just because someone is needy that it's "love". Tell the guy to get into therapy and find someone who suits you.
First of all, if you know he has difficulty writing why are the two of you texting? Why not pick up the phone and have an actual conversation? None of that stuff made sense.
Second, PTSD is treatable so that one can learn to live without being overwhelmed by the emotional arousal and anxiety daily. Has he actually been diagnosed by a professional or did he just decide this for himself? Has he sought treatment? It does not have to involve medication. Even the US Armed Forces are utilizing alternative treatments for PTSD including CBT and EMDR. More recently there has been some success with MBSR which is a very specific type of meditation.
How is it manipulating me? And what I like about him is the following;
doesn't drink, smoke, or do drugs
works
school
own place
own car
Likes me for me and we have a lot in common.
There are other guys with your criteria.
It's just been two months and so many problems already. You can't FIX him. Look for a better match that makes you happy and doesn't just cause headaches. Been there, done that and wasted a lot of time. Don't make the same mistakes and be a lil smarter
I have looked for a guy with these qualities its hard to find, when I do find them they never reply to the messages I send them, which means they didn't like my appearance or what I had to say on my profile etc. And things with this guy have gotten better.
This is too much. I say it's only 2 months old, cut him and move on.
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