U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 04-19-2015, 12:05 PM
 
1,160 posts, read 2,067,166 times
Reputation: 1429

Advertisements

A lot of single people give props to OLD, and if it has worked for you, I'm glad. However, I had a completely different experience with it.

Was on Match a while back. Nothing came of it. That's all you need to know about my Match experience.

A few months ago, a guy started following me on Twitter, retweeting some of my tweets. Because I was doing fundraising, I thanked him, and we engaged in a brief Twitter chat about Austin, SXSW, fundraising, your basic parlor chat. He sent a friend request on Facebook, and I accepted, because we had a few acquaintances in common. I assumed he was laid-back, cool. BIG mistake.

Long story short, he showed for SXSW and basically tracked me down. Told me that he'd sent me messages on Match; I never responded to them. At this point, I'm starting to get creeped-out. As he was yammering, it became clear to me that he had found my social networking profiles via Match (photo matching). Obsessing over me for some time. It also became clear that he thought my cordial responses to him (on Twitter) were an indication that I wanted to "date" him. After an hour, I managed to scram, after texting one of my male friends to come rescue me. Next day, I check my FB and Twitter, and there are dozens of invites from this guy to breakfast, lunch, dinner ... somehow -- and I have no clue how he managed this -- he even sent me email to my work email address.

I have had to shut down all public Facebook posts and tweets, because he keeps responding to them in a way that connotes we are "familiar". I promote fundraising efforts as part of my job, so this pissed me off.

Last weekend, I had to refrain from going to a public fundraising event for my organization (I had promoted it on Facebook, publicly) because he drove all the way to Austin and showed up. More messages, invites, etc. This man has no ties to my organization, by the way.

Right after I found out that he had been obsessing over me based on that stupid Match profile, I knew that I shouldn't respond to him in any way, shape or form, not even to say, "Go away." So i have not encouraged him.

There's a lot more to this, of course. I have no clue how to deal with this guy, other than to drop out of the social networking side of my job and not to go events that are open to the public.

For guys who wonder why women are wary of OLD, this is part of the reason. One really bad experience sours it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 04-19-2015, 12:12 PM
 
4,492 posts, read 3,156,199 times
Reputation: 4293
That's creepy indeed. Yes this is why women are wary of online. Men are afraid of meeting a fat woman online, while women are afraid of situations just like yours above. It makes it hard for the good guys who are just trying to find love.

Last edited by weezerfan84; 04-19-2015 at 12:38 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-19-2015, 12:15 PM
 
Location: Buenos Aires
72 posts, read 44,172 times
Reputation: 217
Don't waste your money. Find a loser in a bar - It's free.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-19-2015, 12:26 PM
 
Location: Mckinney
995 posts, read 1,105,419 times
Reputation: 1030
I quit match after a few dates. I have had much better luck with plenty of fish.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-19-2015, 12:40 PM
 
12,540 posts, read 12,527,052 times
Reputation: 28901
Quote:
Originally Posted by Melissa78703 View Post
Right after I found out that he had been obsessing over me based on that stupid Match profile, I knew that I shouldn't respond to him in any way, shape or form, not even to say, "Go away." So i have not encouraged him.
Actually, the first time he asked, you should have said, "Thank you, but I'm not interested."

Why? Because the first thing a cop is going to ask you is, "Well, did you ever TELL the guy you were not interested?"

So tell him, and then block him on every site.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-19-2015, 12:57 PM
 
1,160 posts, read 2,067,166 times
Reputation: 1429
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110 View Post
Actually, the first time he asked, you should have said, "Thank you, but I'm not interested."

Why? Because the first thing a cop is going to ask you is, "Well, did you ever TELL the guy you were not interested?"

So tell him, and then block him on every site.
Well, I think that time has come and gone. I was actually so stunned (when he tracked me down), I didn't know how to deal with it. I went with my gut ... which was to conduct a polite conversation (was difficult because this guy was way too TMI) and respond cordially. Believe me, I am trained to communicate with difficult people, and my instincts were to simply get away from him and cease all contact.

That might have been the 'wrong' thing to do at the time, looking back on it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-19-2015, 01:05 PM
 
10,026 posts, read 9,239,271 times
Reputation: 5896
I know what you mean. I hsd this happen to me, though not as bad. I had been talking to as guy on OkCupid and he found my Facebook page due to photo matching. I deleted all my online profiles. A few years ago I had a stalker on a dating site threaten to come by my house but as far as I know never did.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-19-2015, 01:08 PM
 
17,867 posts, read 17,781,746 times
Reputation: 13799
At least he's just a lousy stalker. Be glad he was a GOOD stalker
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-19-2015, 01:37 PM
 
Location: SC
1,966 posts, read 1,165,936 times
Reputation: 3194
I noticed that trend also with online social networks and OLD. Far too many use the SAME photos in all of their online accounts! Not a good idea. Photos are too easily googled anymore. Especially if you take them with a smart phone.
Yes, women do have to be wary of stalkers from OLD.
No, I don't use the same photos everywhere. I have to be aware of that, as I have a stalker. The ex, who is in prison, uses the DIL to stalk me online.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-19-2015, 01:43 PM
 
1,160 posts, read 2,067,166 times
Reputation: 1429
Quote:
Originally Posted by moxiegal View Post
I noticed that trend also with online social networks and OLD. Far too many use the SAME photos in all of their online accounts! Not a good idea. Photos are too easily googled anymore. Especially if you take them with a smart phone.
I had no clue that this was even possible until I called Match and reported it. Of course, there was really little they could do about it, except explain how he was able to find me. I am pretty low-profile on social networking (not searchable on Facebook); I appeal to a very specific group of people, not a wide audience.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top