Dealing with a revealing girlfriend? (dating, women, attracted, separate)
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Im 24, been seeing this girl for a month now things are going well but i feel that she is too much of an attention seeker. When we are together she is fine but as soon as she is on her own its like she must get all the attention she can. She works in a pub and today just popped in to say hi and she had a very low cut top on, like she could easily have this covered up a bit more but she has it as low as she can without revealing all.
1. Am I being too insecure? I feel like i kinda am but who wants every guy drooling over there bird all day?
2. Would it be wrong of me to ask her to cover up a bit more? I don't want to come across as controlling but at the same time i cant be dealing with her dressing like that all the time. I don't see why she feels the need to constantly.
She is my second relationship and my first was like it every now and then when we went out somewhere which is fine but this new girl is constantly like it.
Just not used to being with a bird like this, thoughts?
She works in a pub. She probably wears revealing clothing to get bigger tips. Is this what you are basing her attention seeking and revealing clothing on - just her job? Or is it based on more than that.
You can bring it up - but she is who she is. If you don't like it, you don't have to stay with her.
You've only been dating her for a month. If this is how she is and you don't like it, you can go your separate ways. Or, like Dewdrop said, she's a bartender and she knows what clothes to wear to get good tips.
She is like it all the time, we would jus go out for a drink or just for a walk or something and she would slap a lot of make up on and wear revealing tops and i just dont get why.
I suppose im just not used to it, my ex was a lot more chilled out and less attention seeking. I don't mind it every now and then but constantly i dont get why she feels the need to.
I don't know if im being over the top but i just dont want her to act like this all the time and if its how she is going to be then suppose i will quickly become unattracted to her.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Yes and yes
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76
S
Why are you calling her a bird?
Assume he's in the UK.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jds90
She is like it all the time, we would jus go out for a drink or just for a walk or something and she would slap a lot of make up on and wear revealing tops and i just dont get why.
It has nothing to do with "need". She likes to. The end.
She is like it all the time, we would jus go out for a drink or just for a walk or something and she would slap a lot of make up on and wear revealing tops and i just dont get why.
I suppose im just not used to it, my ex was a lot more chilled out and less attention seeking. I don't mind it every now and then but constantly i dont get why she feels the need to.
I don't know if im being over the top but i just dont want her to act like this all the time and if its how she is going to be then suppose i will quickly become unattracted to her.
do yourself a favor and stop seeing her. it is obvious you do not "approve" of how she conducts herself. it is her right to wear make up and dress how she pleases. not "understanding" the why's of it, should tell you to move on.
I'm gonna say you two are just not that closely aligned in who you are as people. This is something about her that she does, for whatever reason, honestly a lot of women like to look in the mirror before leaving the house and think, "Man I look HOT." It's a self esteem thing. Ladies like to feel as though they look good. Often, it isn't about trying to get a reaction from others, or notice from men, although that boosts the ego a bit also. I'm just saying you can't assume she's trying to draw the eyes of other men by doing this, with women there's usually more to it than that and it's more about them than other people.
And yeah, bartender. So of course she does that if it gets her better tips or it's just her "normal."
But if you are reading all of this into it and considering asking her to change her ways to make you more comfortable, that's not a good sign.
You can read about the mess I'm in if you want to know where relationships wind up when two people aren't realistic about who each other are in the beginning, and think maybe the other one should change for them...it ain't pretty. You'd be better off, in my opinion, finding someone whose habits and behavior is more closely aligned with your thinking and preferences...definitely don't get too serious with this one.
To be clear...there's nothing wrong with you and nothing wrong with her. You AND her together...might be wrong.
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