Marriage counseling, needing care for young child (therapy, husband, kids)
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I'm miserable in my 14 year marriage, and I've asked my husband to go through marriage counseling with me. (It's either that, or I will leave). We've had troubles for a long, long time, which I'd prefer not to get into. For people here who have gone through this, have you ever heard of counseling services who can also help with childcare during this time (even at a cost)?
We have a 4 year old, and we have absolutely no one in the area who can watch him. We moved from the Midwest to the Northeast last fall, and we don't know a soul out here. I don't even know anyone with young kids where I might get a referral for a babysitter. I have no idea how we can attend counseling if we don't have someone who can watch my 4 year old during this time. Any ideas would be helpful.
You'd have to be lucky to find someone with an extra room that could be used for a child to play quietly in, and even then, s/he would have to be comfortable with a child being left unsupervised. Also, there's no guarantee that the one counselor in your area who would allow that would be any good at couples counseling. You should definitely ask when you contact counselors; you might get lucky. But it's unlikely. Are there no teenagers in your area who do babysitting?
There are no teenagers in my neighborhood (that I know of, we've been here less than a year, and barely know our next door neighbors). Mostly families w/kids and empty nesters. I know of one drop-in childcare place, but that's during the day only, which doesn't help us. We need evening hours due to inflexible work hours.
Cultivating a reliable babysitter is going to be an asset in the long run, most likely, for working on your marriage in general. Being able to line one up for during therapy sessions is just the tip of the iceberg. Moving and having no support network, not even enough of one to have occasional babysitting, is guaranteed to put a strain on a marriage, outside of whatever other issues there are. You need to be able to line up time to focus on one another as spouses from time to time.
If you use care.com or sittercity or whatever, let me tell you, you MUST call the references.
There are a lot of crazies out there.
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