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Otherwise what happens, she makes $50,000/year maybe and he's making $500,000 and he has to arrange his travel plans for a pathetic 10% of his income extra?! For pocket change. That's all that is. Nothing.
But what if the woman really likes the work she's doing for that pathetic pocket change of a salary? If that kind of relationship works for the couple, that's great, but I know a lot of women who wouldn't be satisfied if her husband thought she was an inconvenience and got pouty if he couldn't do what he wants whenever he wants because she's got a schedule of her own.
Many people will be judgmental about lots of things.
Religion
Sex
Politics
Polygamous relationships
People that live with their parents at a certain age
Being a housewife, or househusband who doesn't work just goes on that list. Some just feel if one partner works, and the other doesn't, then they're just mooching because they contribute no money. But she may work around the house. Cooking, cleaning, etc. Who knows what couples do and are like behind closed doors.
But despite that, people who are unhappy with their own lives will be the most judgmental. Because they either have nothing going on, or hate what's going on, they stay in other people's business and find flaws in their lives, or what they see as flaws.
Usually people who are happy or content with themselves don't walk around harboring hatred, negative feelings, or harsh judgement on others. They wouldn't need to, because they'd have their own full life to tend to and enjoy. Not to say people won't disagree with things. But if it stays on their mind, and they keep bringing it up, they'e a bit too involved for something that doesn't involve them.
You'd never know that, though, from the way people from those areas post here, about everyone being married by their mid-20's, making dating virtually non-existent for anyone older than that. But....that's C-D, I guess. I should know better, right?
At least in the two midwestern states I have been to pretty much everyone normal was married by 30 yeah. That is one generalization I completely agree with.
I think it has to do with how people view work. A lot of people measure their own self worth by their job and their income. So they measures other by it as well. And some people don't like their jobs so they harbor resentment towards people that don't have to work. It's sort of like - If I have to work - why don't they have to work! It's not fair!
If everyone was happy - then they wouldn't care what other people do with their lives.
This.
Good for them. If it works and they're happy, awesome!
I just think it shows a distinct lack of pragmatism on both of their parts. No one should be without the skills needed to support themselves - no one. If the marriage goes south, your brother is in for a world of hurt in alimony payments. If something were to happen to your brother, your sister in law would find herself in a very bad position unless there is enough life insurance to set her up for life.
I suppose I just know far too many women who were stay at home moms their entire lives only to find their spouse interested in an "upgrade" or facing job loss, illness, death or divorce in their 40s or 50s. It is easier to bounce back if you have a career and means of supporting yourself on your own. Otherwise, you end up making not much more than minimum wage in a day care like my mom (and most of her coworkers).
You're assuming she doesn't know how to do anything. Many parents teach their daughters how to take care of themselves.
In addition, for many husbands, a wife who doesn't work is just as much of a status symbol as a luxury car.
And that pisses a lot of people off.
Prejudices really come out when people start judging others because they aren't plowing a field to "prove their worth." Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it's not happening.
My Brother is a extremely successfull professional (mid six figures) who is currently married to a wife who does not work in a standard job. Rather than being employed, she assists around the house and persues her own interests ranging from education, travel, investing, leadership in community interests, and improving her artistic ability. She being well rounded prefers this type of freedom to working 9 to 5, and he being very career driven enjoys working and feels PROUD to provide the means for her to have this type of life.
However, so many of my relatives as well as people in their social circle criticize the arrangement stating the following cliches:
1. He is a sucker
2. If she is not taking care of kids and not working, she is a parasite.
Yet, it seems to work very well for both of them.
Just wondering, why are so many people so judgemental of these type of marriages and have you ever seen a marriage where the husband was the provider, the wife persued her own personal development and interests, but no kids were involved work out great?
Thanks
I don't see anything wrong with it at all, and I cannot imagine other people, especially family, questioning their life choices. I would tell them to bugger off.
Let me rephrase that - when I grew up, married women rarely worked outside the home.
Domestic Goddess was considered a job.
Not too long go women were expected to hand in their notice once they got married.
My mom (and I suspect I am older than you!) went to work as soon as we went into school. She went full time once the youngest of us was 12. That was pretty normal where I lived. But we were far from wealthy.
But what if the woman really likes the work she's doing for that pathetic pocket change of a salary? If that kind of relationship works for the couple, that's great, but I know a lot of women who wouldn't be satisfied if her husband thought she was an inconvenience and got pouty if he couldn't do what he wants whenever he wants because she's got a schedule of her own.
Then that's great but everything comes with drawbacks. In my girlfriend's case, she wants to do counseling so we are going to have her work from home and do that and make money but also enjoy using her degree, but with a flexible schedule so that if we want to go on vacation we can do that and she won't set any early appointments so we can live our lives the way we want and not on some mediocre corporate 9-5 timeline. That's way too damn early to be awake.
Thank you. I stand corrected. You'd never know that, though, from the way people from those areas post here, about everyone being married by their mid-20's, making dating virtually non-existent for anyone older than that. But....that's C-D, I guess. I should know better, right?
Yes, you should
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