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I thought I'd post this as I see SO MANY "why can't I find the right guy" posts on this board. So many "nice girls" who always wind up with loser guys who cheat and lie. So let me share some wisdom I picked up in the great jungle of life..... take it or leave it, it's just my opinion, and I'm happy to agree to disagree.
I spent 8 years working in a local pizza place and saw every manner of "relationship" and couple walk through the door.... you know what the mantra was?
Women
Love
Dirtbags
You would not believe the stories you'd here, or the things you'd witness. The ladies who worked at the local bank were so nice and happy, well dressed, smart, attractive. They came in often and were just all around good folks.
Then they'd come in with their current boyfriends who were most often borderline abusive to them right in the restaurant! Unwashed dirtbags who would have 4 Bud's with dinner and swear like sailors. Guys who would date a women and exploit her sketchy self-esteem and good nature until they moved on to the next one.
But hey..... they were "exciting", they had a motorcycle, blah blah blah.
It's anecdotal, but saw this pattern over and over again with a HUGE cross section of the population. Unbelievable the choices some women make in a mate.
So.... Ladies.... choose better men. Guys who lie and cheat and treat you bad are pretty easy to pick out on the first date or 2.
You're a nice girl right? Fine, then date nice guys, avoid the loner, badass tough guys the ladies all seem to go gaga over. Don't go home with overplucked jackasses from the clubs. Don't date a guy just because he has a Harley or a fast car, don't date a guy who acts like his life is "Animal House."
Find the guy with a job, who still sends his mom a mother's day card every year, who owns a shirt with buttons that's not made of denim, who says please and thank you to people around him.
You get the picture.
Good luck out there, I got lucky and found my fabulous wife in college. She took a chance on a "not so popular" guy back then and I guarantee she hasn't regretted it yet.
I spent 8 years working in a local pizza place and saw every manner of "relationship"
Women
Love
Dirtbags
Did you notice any difference in the way those who ordered pepperoni related to each other as compared to those who liked anchovies?
What about those who ordered for "Delivery"? They had a "manner of relationship" that lay outside your observations and could very well have skewed you data and led to very different assumptions.
Work the counter at the local eatery for nearly a decade and you'll be stunned how well you know the town you live in and the opinions you'll form about people. But they are just opinions based on observations.
Like I said, that's my opinion, you don't have to agree with it.
I thought I'd post this as I see SO MANY "why can't I find the right guy" posts on this board. So many "nice girls" who always wind up with loser guys who cheat and lie. So let me share some wisdom I picked up in the great jungle of life..... take it or leave it, it's just my opinion, and I'm happy to agree to disagree.
I spent 8 years working in a local pizza place and saw every manner of "relationship" and couple walk through the door.... you know what the mantra was?
Women
Love
Dirtbags
You would not believe the stories you'd here, or the things you'd witness. The ladies who worked at the local bank were so nice and happy, well dressed, smart, attractive. They came in often and were just all around good folks.
Then they'd come in with their current boyfriends who were most often borderline abusive to them right in the restaurant! Unwashed dirtbags who would have 4 Bud's with dinner and swear like sailors. Guys who would date a women and exploit her sketchy self-esteem and good nature until they moved on to the next one.
But hey..... they were "exciting", they had a motorcycle, blah blah blah.
It's anecdotal, but saw this pattern over and over again with a HUGE cross section of the population. Unbelievable the choices some women make in a mate.
So.... Ladies.... choose better men. Guys who lie and cheat and treat you bad are pretty easy to pick out on the first date or 2.
You're a nice girl right? Fine, then date nice guys, avoid the loner, badass tough guys the ladies all seem to go gaga over. Don't go home with overplucked jackasses from the clubs. Don't date a guy just because he has a Harley or a fast car, don't date a guy who acts like his life is "Animal House."
Find the guy with a job, who still sends his mom a mother's day card every year, who owns a shirt with buttons that's not made of denim, who says please and thank you to people around him.
You get the picture.
Good luck out there, I got lucky and found my fabulous wife in college. She took a chance on a "not so popular" guy back then and I guarantee she hasn't regretted it yet.
you are right...we need to make better choices. i agree and i will follow your advice...thanks!
Okay, so what about the guy that seems to be a nice guy, but really isn't? The thing that I hate about dating or looking for this "nice guy" is: The 1st 3 months or so is always a fake, even if it seems to be real.
Guys are always on their best behavior during this time, and then it goes downhill from there. After 3 months or so (in my dating experience) usually the guy gets a little too "comfortable", and stops doing the things that he use to do, weather it's not calling as much, not being as sweet as he was in the beginning, not taking me out as much, not putting as much effort into dressing when we go out or when he sees me....etc etc.
Point being, you found your True Love in college, which is GREAT for you. But some, if not most, of those "nice women" in the pizza shop with the not so nice guys were probably just going through the motions in their quest to find "Mr. Right". It's like you've got to go through so many a** holes just to find "The One" .
Okay, so what about the guy that seems to be a nice guy, but really isn't? The thing that I hate about dating or looking for this "nice guy" is: The 1st 3 months or so is always a fake, even if it seems to be real.
Guys are always on their best behavior during this time, and then it goes downhill from there. After 3 months or so (in my dating experience) usually the guy gets a little too "comfortable", and stops doing the things that he use to do, weather it's not calling as much, not being as sweet as he was in the beginning, not taking me out as much, not putting as much effort into dressing when we go out or when he sees me....etc etc.
Point being, you found your True Love in college, which is GREAT for you. But some, if not most, of those "nice women" in the pizza shop with the not so nice guys were probably just going through the motions in their quest to find "Mr. Right". It's like you've got to go through so many a** holes just to find "The One" .
I agree. You've got to go through a ton of jerks to find a good one.
I thought I'd post this as I see SO MANY "why can't I find the right guy" posts on this board. So many "nice girls" who always wind up with loser guys who cheat and lie. So let me share some wisdom I picked up in the great jungle of life..... take it or leave it, it's just my opinion, and I'm happy to agree to disagree.
I spent 8 years working in a local pizza place and saw every manner of "relationship" and couple walk through the door.... you know what the mantra was?
<b>
Women
Love
Dirtbags
</b>
You would not believe the stories you'd here, or the things you'd witness. The ladies who worked at the local bank were so nice and happy, well dressed, smart, attractive. They came in often and were just all around good folks.
Then they'd come in with their current boyfriends who were most often borderline abusive to them right in the restaurant! Unwashed dirtbags who would have 4 Bud's with dinner and swear like sailors. Guys who would date a women and exploit her sketchy self-esteem and good nature until they moved on to the next one.
But hey..... they were "exciting", they had a motorcycle, blah blah blah.
It's anecdotal, but saw this pattern over and over again with a HUGE cross section of the population. Unbelievable the choices some women make in a mate.
So.... Ladies.... choose better men. Guys who lie and cheat and treat you bad are pretty easy to pick out on the first date or 2.
You're a nice girl right? Fine, then date nice guys, avoid the loner, badass tough guys the ladies all seem to go gaga over. Don't go home with overplucked jackasses from the clubs. Don't date a guy just because he has a Harley or a fast car, don't date a guy who acts like his life is "Animal House."
Find the guy with a job, who still sends his mom a mother's day card every year, who owns a shirt with buttons that's not made of denim, who says please and thank you to people around him.
You get the picture.
Good luck out there, I got lucky and found my fabulous wife in college. She took a chance on a "not so popular" guy back then and I guarantee she hasn't regretted it yet.
Your observations and advise are all good! But I think the setting (local pizza place) sort of lowers the standards right from the start No offense to you, or local pizza places in general.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SJPrincess
Okay, so what about the guy that seems to be a nice guy, but really isn't? The thing that I hate about dating or looking for this "nice guy" is: The 1st 3 months or so is always a fake, even if it seems to be real.
Guys are always on their best behavior during this time, and then it goes downhill from there. After 3 months or so (in my dating experience) usually the guy gets a little too "comfortable", and stops doing the things that he use to do, weather it's not calling as much, not being as sweet as he was in the beginning, not taking me out as much, not putting as much effort into dressing when we go out or when he sees me....etc etc.
Point being, you found your True Love in college, which is GREAT for you. But some, if not most, of those "nice women" in the pizza shop with the not so nice guys were probably just going through the motions in their quest to find "Mr. Right". It's like you've got to go through so many a** holes just to find "The One" .
Sure, people tend to be on their best behavior when relationships are fresh. But if you see a consistent pattern in this regard, you *may* just be missing some warning signs in those first months. If the first 3 months are "always fake", you are choosing the wrong guys to go out with IMHO.
I've had my fair share of abusive, manipulative, lyin', cheatin' POSs. It was my own fault really because I let them treat me badly... I was young and didn't know any better. Then one day... my then bf ran off with a French girl to Brazil. I was heartbroken but had enough. It took being heartbroken for me to realize that real men don't treat women like dirt. Some of us take a little longer than others to get it - I know women in their 60's that still don't know a good man when she sees it. Now, I'm a sucker for a nice guy... I love them as I am married to the nicest guy I've ever met (way nicer than me).
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