Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The guy made it KNOWN he was only remaining friends with her in hopes of her changing her mind. No healthy friendship can operate with that over her head. Better she cut bait now.
I'm not sure how you got that from the OP. Saying he was fine remaining friends and also saying maybe she will change her mind one day, is not the same as saying he's only remaining friends with the hopes that she will. That's a leap. OP made the same leap when she suggested he has "ulterior motives."
And OP, I think you are flattering yourself with the whole "undressing me in his mind." Mature adults can remain friends even when one would prefer more. Whiel it may change the scope of the friendship, it doesn't mean the friendship has to end. Unless, of course, one party is too immature to deal with it.
Unfortunately, but that's how it is. At least for me.
How can I be 100% comfortable around a man who I know is probably undressing me in his mind? It's beyond my comfort zone knowing that in the back of his mind he's waiting for a chance to get physical.
Most all "friendly" men who know you are undressing you in their minds and are waiting in some form or fashion to get physical. MOST ALL OF THEM.
Thanks for replies everyone.
Unfortunately, this is not the first male friend that I've lost because they develop feelings for me. I keep on hoping that opposite sex friendship is possible but so far trial and error has proven otherwise. Sign.
Maybe it isn't them then. If you don't have a current boyfriend and you are befriending single men, they may very well be getting a message from you that you don't realize you are sending.
You don't have to be friends with anyone you don't want to but make sure you aren't flirting and sort of leading them on in your down time from having a boyfriend. I know this happens. Someone to fill in just until........
It's possible to be just friends with the opposite sex but it can get sticky if you're single. It can also get sticky if you're physically attracted. I think it's easier to be platonic with someone who just "isn't getting it" for you, than with someone you find physically appealing.
However, I've seen more examples of one person being platonic, and the other person appearing to be platonic, with the intention of waiting for either a)the other person to change their mind, or b)for that other's person's present relationship relationship to split up, if they have one, so that they can have a chance in.
My take is, this wont end well,the 'friendship' is built on a false premise; on his end. I think its best to part ways
Yeah I agree with everyone else to end the friendship. In a way you are doing him a favor, so he can find someone who does like him back.
When I was younger, I tended to like guys who liked me (either they said they did or I thought they did). I guess I thought it was easier? But I also developed a natural attraction to them. That might be impossible for you. And it is probably better to just cut it off than wait around to see if you change your mind.
Quote:
Originally Posted by YaFace
This is just plain cold. She ruined this poor guys life!
Get out of here with this. You sound like a "Nice Guy." Neither women nor men are obligated to have feelings for their friends just because they have a crush. I don't care how "nice" you are. If people don't return your feelings, be upset, sure, but then GET OVER IT.
My husband was in the same boat as you when he had a female friend.
There were some differences though...
Even though chronologically she was an adult, emotionally she was a teenager.
She was diagnosed with schizophrenia. She was also autistic.
She had a crush on my husband before we started dating, which turned into infatuation, which then turned into unrequited love on her end.
My husband told her many times that he only wanted to be her friend.
She wanted much more than friendship. She told my husband *who was my boyfriend at the time* when they were hanging out alone that she was waiting for him to wave the white flag so the two of them could date. I guess that meant she wanted him to dump me and date her instead.
My husband did not want to hurt her feelings.
He also did not want her to physically hurt her. She was stronger than him, and he told me there were times that she put him in a choke-hold.
Their friendship had to end for several reasons. It did, but she was not happy.
There was one thing I wished my husband *who was my boyfriend at the time* did, and that was to talk to God about the entire situation.
Doesn't sound like you were that close of friends if you can drop him just like that.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
