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Hmmmm. A year ago she just graduated and was looking for a job. But just a year later she is making $300k a year on line from home? I don't know what kind of online business even grosses $300k a year from home in this economy. It sounds like if this is true, she was satisfied living where she did until she started making money and now is in a position to be picky. Love to know what she sells online out of an apartment as a one woman show and makes $300k.
I'm currently in the online marketing business as an entrepreneur. Believe me, it is possible, but it does take a lot effort and work (at least in the beginning).
I actually do respect him but my
Resentment stems from going on years of realizing that his mom and his desires come
First.. Me staying here this many years was the compromise actually.. I supported him thru college and while he got on his feet and have said he can apply to equal positions in California.. That I wouldn't expect him to move without a job secured although he could make more in business together as a couple with me.. But I respect him wanting to do his own thing and yes.. Taking the kids would be an issue legally unless they'd been staying in California six months already ... I love him and everything outside of this is reasonably good despite some
Flaws.. Which we all have.. But I'm failing to see the point of marriage.. I feel like I come third and have been anchored and stuck and tricked into giving up my life and dreams.. All while sacrificing and never receiving the same in return.. And Jesus moving from this city to San Diego is hardly a sacrifice it's so nice there.. I've lived away from my folks 8 years!
I even told him we could live 50/50 between the two and homeschool and he shot that down and said we could stay here and the kids must go to public school and we can celebrate holidays in San Diego.. Amazes me that I didn't even get that kind of courtesy in the last 8'years and even living 50/50 wouldn't be enough for him .. And trust me I can't stand it here and have no desire to split our kids all over for the sake of him not being able to tell his mother we are moving but I spun my wheels and compromised every way I thought..
Now I'm stumped to the point of asking for advice from strangers to cover any bases I may have missed and I always said I would never divorce unless cheating or some abuse was a problem but this coming third and being with someone who doesn't compromise and sacrifice for me feels like it will be a huge regret for me in the long term ..
He told me today I won't take his kids from him either .. I hate to do ultimatums but maybe that's all that's left.. I feel like I'm breaking my back for a
Solution when he hasn't done jack **** to appease me in years and is loving and living in NYC .. He has his world set up so I guess I have my answer
I'm in SALES to the person trying to derail the thread .. Hell of a lot of money to be made in sales period and I'm good at it
My husband and I met here over 7 years ago. I've been here for 8 years and at that time I was looking to leave NY and head back to California (where I am from). He knew that.
Anyhoo--guess these NY men are persistent and winners right? (lol) So here I am.
About 1-2 years into our relationship I made it CRYSTAL clear that if I had to stay much longer I was going to start resenting him because I hated it here and when we met I turned him down many times telling him I didn't want a relationship. Anyway, I made my decision..I am a big girl..I do love him. But I did NOT agree to stay here for life.
Well one thing after another happened and I went to school and so did he (on a scholarship) and he said we'd give CA a "try" (seriously?) after he was finished. That was 2.5 years ago..and, surprise, we are on our 2nd baby.
We haven't always had money..And his parents have helped us in terms of childcare (which I prefer over daycare) but now that money isn't an issue and I don't feel he can make any excuses, I want to move to California.
We agreed for years that we'd "take a turn" there..So really..it's "my turn" to live there 8 years (lol) and by that time I'm pretty sure my elementary school kids aren't going to want to come back.
I agreed to spend summer breaks and winter breaks out here to appease him (even though I could personally do without those).
No offense to anyone..I posted on the NY board on purpose because I know I'll receive the most raw advice (not just what I'd like to hear) but I am sick of NYC..sick to death. Tired of the crowds, filth, weather, sky high prices in return for having to compete for paid parking spaces and dealing with the NYPD and all that junk.
California is not cheap by any means but I feel like if we're going to have such a high cost of living, I am looking forward to the 70-degree, sunny, breezy days I used to take for granted..along with plenty of parking..nice people..good schools..clean beaches and plenty of free stuff to do and places to go.
Another big reason I am adamant about CA is bc we always said we'd live near ONE of our families. My parents, sibling and grandma live there. I want my kids to not only grow up somewhere family friendly but at least near one of our families.
I was "over" NYC YEARS ago..and I've always felt if a person doesn't like somewhere they shouldn't stay. They should just move..which is what I've wanted to do. This just is not the place I want to raise my kids and I don't find it family friendly.
Not to mention..his mom is way too involved in our marriage and family is all up in the biz..and while I love them I'd be lying my ass off saying I won't be looking forward to the extra space. I was raised very independently with lots of boundaries. His family and their culture doesn't work that way..and I just cannot get used to it..too close for comfort.
Alright..not to drag things on..but husband is nearing about 100K with overtime (60 hours per week) at his union job..It's in his field of passion and I've supported him in everything since the beginning. Can't toatlly say the same of him when it comes to me but whatever.
I am at 300k/year in business and the time is finally coming to buy a house and..I just don't want to settle here.
Here's my thing..My income is increasing rather rapidly as I reinvest and diversify my income. My idea and thinking is...why can't he just apply to a job over in California? If he really wants to keep a job so he can have his own income OR just manage some investments with me? We actually work well as a business team but men are anal about stability.
He has NO set reason to stay here other than hanging onto his job..which I told him...he can just as easily find a union job in his field in San Diego..and it's not like we'd be hurting for money if he even decided to just work from home with me.
I have PLENTY of reasons I've wanted to leave here..for YEARS..and I feel like I didn't work this hard in life to become successful and be stuck to a place I hate (which he is fully aware of--this is not new news) just because he has a 9-5.
I could see if I was a housewife or just making 50K a year but I make 3x more than him at this point. It took a while to get there but once you know what you're doing in business the money starts rushing in.
Obviously, we have a big savings and other stuff on TOP of our income so this move, IMHO, wouldn't be rash.
I want somewhere better to raise my kids. I miss MY family (now that I'm a mom)..I'm homesick..which is funny because I've NEVER missed anyone or been homesick in my life until I had my own kids..and I feel I've sacrificed a lot for him staying here YEARS past what I wanted to. (Sidenote: My schooling took a year..his took 4 total..so we weren't here due to me, per se)
Money isn't a real issue. I'm ready to raise my kids somewhere nicer and I think he settled in the fact he was comfortable with us being stuck here due to the events that took place..school..me getting pregnant back to back after he graduated (worked in his favor)..but now, not only is he doing well, but I'm doing very well as of the last 2 years and our debt is 100% paid off..our credit is excellent..our car is paid for...we have a healthy savings and a handful of small investments.
Would I be so wrong to put my foot down with him and say we're moving? It's much harder now that we're married and kids are involved. I feel like I've been fair saying we can stay here 2.5 months a year during summer breaks and come out for winter breaks as well. I could personally do without all that..I do not enjoy it here but I feel like that would be fair to him.
Thoughts? What would you do? (Assuming you aren't totally in love with NYC lol)
Can you please provide some pointers on how to reach a $300k/year income? That's the real question.
Can you please provide some pointers on how to reach a $300k/year income? That's the real question.
If only it were as easy as getting free pointers from others
I invested a lot of my hard earned money, budgeted, sacrificed, took risks and worked about 5x harder than most people have any desire to. I'm also in sales.. Most people don't want to do sales. I love it.
Wow, I could have written this post almost word for word. In my case it's a different city but same situation and same reasons. I don't have much advice as I'm still here and probably will be for the next 12 years given my kids' ages. I have a lot of resentment but try not to let it get to me. I also am the breadwinner, since he quit practicing law to do what he loves, and even though I want to do something else too, one of us has to pay the bills and the student loans. Every time I think I'm actually ready to leave I think about the thought of not seeing my kids every single day and I cannot go through with it. Good luck. Bait and switch is exactly what it is and it's unconscionable in my opinion.
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