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He's not refusing to compromise any more than you are.
You each want your coast, and your family.
He's agreeing to go to counseling to work on things.
He's not all men, he's just one.
I know you offered to buy his parents a home but are you planning on bringing his friends, favorite stores, the streets he likes driving down, etc. with you? If not, why are you surprised he doesn't want to move? You have family and maybe a few friends you keep in contact with, he has....?
I lived in upstate NY while I was going to school but I came back to live in NYC. I'm not not planning on moving back anytime in this lifetime. Just because he tried living out of state once upon a time doesn't mean he has no problem uprooting his whole life because because.
You say you let him know what your intentions were in the beginning , after 7 years of living with this man, are you really surprised that he wants to stay.
I'm sorry, but I don't care how often a duck calls itself a penguin, it doesn't take 7 years to tell the difference.
I'm an older retired guy. I'll move to So Cal with you if you want. I love kids. But I'll have to make frequent trips back to see my twin grandsons. And I won't ask permission but I will give you plenty of notice.
You know you can move to areas in the ny metro area that there are no crowds, clean streets, no bums on the street and plenty of safe shopping. With your salary you can move to west chester county, nassau county, bergen county, essex county morris county, staten island, etc etc etc
I'm a man, and I can't make any sense of what these people are saying.
Sucks for your husband. You make 300K. He doesn't. You get to pick where you live.
You're a mother with needs for her children. New York City isn't working for you in those regards.
Doing Summer's in NYC is a fair concession. Maybe his mother could spend 3 months in CA a year as well.
Though, clearly, you may want to avoid CA as it's close to the nations 'internet hub'. Whatever that means.
There is no way she can make him move just because she makes more money. It sounds like he refuses to give up family and friends here. If the op insists on leaving she may have to divorce him. The same would be true love if he were making more money.
I don't see why she should have to compromise anymore than she already has. He agreed to move there years ago and he has been putting it off as long as possible. It is very easy to understand he doesn't want to live up to his word. She has stayed for him. It is time for him to do for her. I don't see what the debate is about. Her happiness is just as important as his and hers has been on the back burner for a long time now. It's her time. Plain and simple.
Apparently my reasoning is an excuse. So what's his excuse to stay?
How is NYC better? What does NYC have that California doesnt?
I've already listed we'd have ALL the same stuff there we have here..just from my family.
You sound just like him. I should introduce you two and you can go out for drinks and talk about how you're the man of the house lol
I bet if the tables were turned and I was a housewife making NOTHING and my husband wanted to move to CA on his 100k salary you'd be humming a different tune lol
Sounds like you've already made up your mind.....nothing but CA is going to please you.....so leave.
Has nothing to do with male and female roles...has a bit due to money because let's face it...chances are your husband isn't going to be making that much in CA even if he can find a job and will be dependant on you...which would be the next thing you'll complain about.
Neither of you will compromise...so leave...you don't need anyone's permission.
I don't see why she should have to compromise anymore than she already has. He agreed to move there years ago and he has been putting it off as long as possible. It is very easy to understand he doesn't want to live up to his word. She has stayed for him. It is time for him to do for her. I don't see what the debate is about. Her happiness is just as important as his and hers has been on the back burner for a long time now. It's her time. Plain and simple.
No amount of arguing on this thread can make this man move if he doesn't want to.
Its his choice and if he would rather divorce than leave there is nothing she can do accept divorce him and go back to just accept it here and stay.
You know you can move to areas in the ny metro area that there are no crowds, clean streets, no bums on the street and plenty of safe shopping. With your salary you can move to west chester county, nassau county, bergen county, essex county morris county, staten island, etc etc etc
Of course her husband would have be interested in living in these areas or else they are back to square one,
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