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Why do you have to make it work? It doesn't feel right/good. Why fight for it? I am going to challenge the hell out of everyone who states you MUST fight for marriage. really? WHY? I'm not seeing any convincing arguments.
Have you found someone else? It sounds like you have checked out and am just looking for someone to validate your choices.
Why do you have to make it work? It doesn't feel right/good. Why fight for it? I am going to challenge the hell out of everyone who states you MUST fight for marriage. really? WHY? I'm not seeing any convincing arguments.
Because of this ^^^ attitude right here.
Because the concept of marriage works against our very human nature as spoiled, base creatures.
Because "what feels good" is 99% self-centered.
You have all these naive expectations for what marriage is going to "do" for you to make you happy and make your life better, yet YOU are not willing to DO anything that makes you feel bad/uncomfortable/stressed/yucky???
You want "marriage" to magically fulfill you, but you don't want to do ANYTHING other than show up and "let the magic take over"?
Marriage is similar to being a parent. It takes self-sacrifice and denial because IN ORDER FOR IT TO SUCCEED, your needs and wants cannot always come first.
There are benefits, but you have to EARN them, and a lot of people just can't be bothered to do that.
ETA: In rereading your post, it sounds like you are asking IF you should "fight for" YOUR marriage. I am not sure you should in your case, but marriage IN GENERAL certainly has to be fought for and maintained actively. A good marriage doesn't just benefit from the two of you showing up by default every day.
Last edited by BirdieBelle; 09-10-2015 at 01:21 PM..
Why do you have to make it work? It doesn't feel right/good. Why fight for it? I am going to challenge the hell out of everyone who states you MUST fight for marriage. really? WHY? I'm not seeing any convincing arguments.
When you married him, were part of your vows to stay married "until things didn't feel good anymore?"
Any relationship takes a ton of ongoing work.
Gotta wonder why you got married in the first place if you aren't even willing to go to some counseling sessions together.
Why do you have to make it work? It doesn't feel right/good. Why fight for it? I am going to challenge the hell out of everyone who states you MUST fight for marriage. really? WHY? I'm not seeing any convincing arguments.
You don't have to fight for it if you don't think you don't think it's worth fighting for. If that's the case, then you could at least give the guy the courtesy of leaving the marriage so you can both move on.
After six years of marriage my husband and I started to grow apart. I started distancing myself when I no longer felt wanted and admired as a woman; It took me a while to realize that I am no longer getting compliments, flowers, dirty looks, or any kind of courtship. We didn't have sex for two months. I tried to give hints, wear sexy outfits, etc. One time he straightforward rejected me when I initiated it.
Why do you have to make it work? It doesn't feel right/good. Why fight for it? I am going to challenge the hell out of everyone who states you MUST fight for marriage. really? WHY? I'm not seeing any convincing arguments.
Why do you post? What do you hope to accomplish?
You don't HAVE to fight for your marriage. It's obvious you are not interested in inconveniencing yourself in any way, you are not interested in doing ANYTHING but complain.
Based upon your posting history WHY aren't you just getting a divorce? Just go.
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I don't know if the goals he set for himself are realistic.
They're not. Like any addiction, it's nearly impossible to quit cold turkey. Chances are he's just looking at it on the sly. He needs to see a shrink and get some counseling on this.
Its quite possible we've discovered why the OP's husband has a porn addiction. I've seen this before. I know a guy who married a woman, and within a year stated that she was not interested in sex. She said he was quite free to pursue other women and even bring them home and have sex with them in the guest bedroom. Why did she want him in the first place. Who knows. Maybe companionship, and another income, but not to be a husband and love and friend. Maybe its similar to the OP, except she thinks the guy should go completely without sex at all????
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