Why Is Dating So Much Easier for Women than Men? (couples, relatives)
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I don't understand why any man (or woman) would fake an orgasm. You're definitely not doing yourself (or your partner) any favors. I'm boggled by the idea.
It means exactly what I said. I hung out with her, had fun together, and made her laugh and I worked it.
That's not synonymous with being someone's friend.
This still doesn't make sense to me. If you're hanging out together, having fun together, making her laugh, etc. isn't it either: a date, or a get-together with friends? The only scenario where what you're saying kind of makes sense to me, is if a friend's friend decides to join your regular group of friends. Or, you're somehow going on a date with this person who isn't interested in you.
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Originally Posted by onihC
Personally, I rather be someone’s friend FIRST before just taking the step of hooking up romantically taking one step at a time instead of rushing things.
Same here. It's why the idea of cold-approaching random women seems so strange to me.
I don't understand why any man (or woman) would fake an orgasm. You're definitely not doing yourself (or your partner) any favors. I'm boggled by the idea.
Again, if it's not rare, BUT you men aren't telling us women that it happens (in real life, not on the internet where anyone can and will say anything)...then no, we're not in "disbelief" as onih says due to our thinking we have golden labia or something, we're in "disbelief" because, well, you guys never saying anything about it makes it, you guessed it...not believable.
Keeping things quiet doesn’t mean they don’t occur. Imagine a person not believing his/her relationship is in trouble simply because the other person doesn’t say anything about it.
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Bring it into the open, grab some actual studies (anonymous Neilsen-style phone-ins don't count) and maybe then we'd have something else to believe than: this is pretty darned rare.
For the time being just google “Can men fake orgasms” and I am sure a lot of information will be out there. But it is possible. I mentioned how a few posts ago already. As for women faking it I wouldn’t ask for scientific studies and what not. I am not shocked, in disbelief, or in denial. I know it is possible and its up to the couple to talk about these issues. Communication is key.
How is it an "advantage" if I'm not getting the type that I'm looking for?
I'd honestly rather have nothing than "something" that is not desirable to me.
And it's probably the type of guys who struggle to get dates (like the ones on here) that you're turning down, which proves the point it's harder for a lot of men.
Women nearly always have options, a lot of men don't.
I didn't have anyone attracted to me really. I made people be attracted to me. Big difference.
For JR_C, who's having trouble getting the concept, this is what people here often advise people who are having trouble creating attraction. For people who are average, give or take, in appearance, they need to work at making themselves attractive in other ways.
This is what some of us mean when we say, "Get yourself a personality". Develop a sense of humor, or a congenial manner, or make yourself interesting in some way (develop hobbies, travel, study and learn about the world, become a good conversationalist), or find a knack for making the women around you feel interesting and attractive. Work on yourself, lose the shyness or social anxiety, get professional help with that if necessary. But if there's no physical attraction, you can create personal magnetism to some extent. It takes effort, and isn't something that can be achieved overnight, but people can, and do, improve themselves, and see results over time.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JR_C
This still doesn't make sense to me. If you're hanging out together, having fun together, making her laugh, etc. isn't it either: a date, or a get-together with friends? The only scenario where what you're saying kind of makes sense to me, is if a friend's friend decides to join your regular group of friends. Or, you're somehow going on a date with this person who isn't interested in you.
No, of course not. It doesn't have to be one of these two. Think think and think. I'm sure you can understand why this is a false dichotomy.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
well, you guys never saying anything about it makes it, you guessed it...not believable.
Women don't tell me they fake orgasms either, or rarely, I'm not dumb enough to believe it doesn't happen.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
Again, aside from ED (I did have one 40something boyfriend tell me he "almost" came and that he "came a little" and looking horrified...later discovered he'd been impotent throughout his marriage and that's a big part of what ended the marriage...that's the closest I can relate to this concept as a real-life thing) I really don't think the average woman has considered that a man could fake it or would try, especially a healthy and young man, BUT if it were a more open thing, then obviously we would. It is just that simple, I don't know what is difficult about this concept.
There are reasons people fake it, and they don't tell their partners. People's psyches and egos are fragile. I would never tell a woman I had. But damn, it does get tiring trying to explain to new lovers that me orgasming isn't always the goal, and the sex can be very hot anyway... but you know, LOTS of women take it very hard when you don't, despite it having nothing to do with them. If you just want to avoid the painful conversation and hurt feelings, you fake it sometimes. I assume that's why some women do as well: fragile egos and pysches.
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Originally Posted by JerZ
Bring it into the open, grab some actual studies (anonymous Neilsen-style phone-ins don't count) and maybe then we'd have something else to believe than: this is pretty darned rare.
I don't know or care about studies on this issue. Haven't looked at women that do it or men, and it doesn't matter to me. I care about the people I'm with and our interactions together.
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Originally Posted by JerZ
Oh, and if fewer men would make getting the goods the brass ring, if PUA and "get laid" programs that can cost thousands of dollars just to get a girl's panties off as if that's the ultimate of the ultimate weren't weirdly and a little disconcertingly popular, if there was no more lying/fudging about feelings to get laid, if there wasn't threatening...oops, I mean informing...that if Dude X doesn't get sex by date 3 he's gone, if so many men didn't say they didn't get laid enough in their marriages and that that's the huge important thing, if basically so many guys didn't absolutely contort themselves into pretzels to get sex...that might help a little too toward making the whole "meh, vagina? Could take it or leave it, it's not all that" over-posturing.
Now this is crap I think that is truly rare. I'm not a shut in. I'm a 44 yo guy. Lived in many different states and have dude friends all over, but I swear, PUA? And this stuff? Dating coaches? Etc etc. Is all new to me because of this forum. This is not widespread stuff, whatever some fringe element on the internet pretends to make it out to be.
I'm not going to dismiss people that are hurt by lack of intimacy in a marriage though. THat's a serious thing, and generally its something I've heard from women, not men.
No. it's mainly guys saying that women who have nothing but bad options is in better condition than a man who seems to have none.
So the unattractive, drunk, sloppy, pothead you dislike is great, because it's still an option.
Oh, whoo-hoo! ...LOL..
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