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I am not saying ALL men/women are abusers. My respond was to a poster saying how he was raised to never raise his hand on a woman. So I responded telling him how it would be nice if girls were also educated the same way.
So you believe that women are educated to hit men? That is what you are saying. Is that what you believe?
I am not saying ALL men/women are abusers. My respond was to a poster saying how he was raised to never raise his hand on a woman. So I responded telling him how it would be nice if girls were also educated the same way.
So going back to what I said, yes, when a man hits a woman you bet people will run to protect the woman, beat the guy up, and quickly call police. If its the other way around, you'll see the big difference. Like I said before, I rather have nobody hit nobody regardless of gender. Unfortunately, society thinks otherwise generally speaking.
Most girls ARE raised not to hit men are they not?
I do agree about the protecting the woman over the man of course but it's an awful position to be in for a man as you can't defend yourself ( not just physically but from embarrassment too ) as you normal would if it's a man.
I think he's referring to television shows where actors portray a fighting couple and passersby, people not in on the deal, respond or not. In most instances, men and women intervene fairly quickly when a woman is being mistreated. In most instances, it takes several people walking by before someone assists the man. Interestingly, it's often a woman who offers assistance, but then it was a woman who laughed as she walked by and later said that she figured the guy had it coming.
None of which is good science, but based on my experience, there's something to the idea that men being the victim of violence, especially when a woman is the perpetrator, is funny or something to be dismissed. I don't say that to equate the violence men collectively perpetrate on women with the opposite, but our public attitude about women hitting men when it does occur is disappointing.
The thing is - most men are stronger than women and can cause much more damage. I think this is where this reaction comes from. They think that a woman can't fight off a man but that a man can fight off a woman. But I also think that views on domestic violence are changing - thanks to feminism!!!
I do agree about the protecting the woman over the man of course but it's an awful position to be in for a man as you can't defend yourself ( not just physically but from embarrassment too ) as you normal would if it's a man.
Like you said, it is an awful position for a man. You're on your own pretty much.
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Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76
The thing is - most men are stronger than women and can cause much more damage. I think this is where this reaction comes from. They think that a woman can't fight off a man but that a man can fight off a woman. But I also think that views on domestic violence are changing - thanks to feminism!
Agree. A man can cause more damage, no doubt, but violence is violence regardless of being noisy, silent, inflicting a lot or a little damage, etc. It is violence and nobody should go through it. There are plenty of organizations and shelters for women but men seem to be ignored on this.
I sometimes wonder if the views of women being violent with men are really changing. I continue to see these social experiment videos out there, hear people's opinions on this matter, and it still seems like we are not moving quick. So far the only good thing I have seen is that finally it has been documented that men pretty much suffer domestic violence AS MUCH/OFTEN as women.
Like you said, it is an awful position for a man. You're on your own pretty much.
Agree. A man can cause more damage, no doubt, but violence is violence regardless of being noisy, silent, inflicting a lot or a little damage, etc. It is violence and nobody should go through it. There are plenty of organizations and shelters for women but men seem to be ignored on this.
I sometimes wonder if the views of women being violent with men are really changing. I continue to see these social experiment videos out there, hear people's opinions on this matter, and it still seems like we are not moving quick. So far the only good thing I have seen is that finally it has been documented that men pretty much suffer domestic violence AS MUCH/OFTEN as women.
Part of that is because men, historically, have the means to get out of the house and get away from the abusive spouse. Women often don't, particularly in the case of low income families.
There's still very little emotional support for either men or women. We can say that society sympathizes with women, but too many people still say "she had it coming" or "she deserves it for not leaving him the first time" (or some iteration of that).
Like you said, it is an awful position for a man. You're on your own pretty much.
Agree. A man can cause more damage, no doubt, but violence is violence regardless of being noisy, silent, inflicting a lot or a little damage, etc. It is violence and nobody should go through it. There are plenty of organizations and shelters for women but men seem to be ignored on this.
I sometimes wonder if the views of women being violent with men are really changing. I continue to see these social experiment videos out there, hear people's opinions on this matter, and it still seems like we are not moving quick. So far the only good thing I have seen is that finally it has been documented that men pretty much suffer domestic violence AS MUCH/OFTEN as women.
There are organizations for men - one of the problems is that men don't seek help as often because they feel that there is a stigma attached.
I do believe that things are changing but change doesn't happen overnight. It used to be acceptable to hit your wife if she was "out of line." That has changed. Change takes time.
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Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76
So you believe that women are educated to hit men? That is what you are saying. Is that what you believe?
You never answered this. I would really like to know if you believe that everyone here teaches their daughters to hit people.
There are organizations for men - one of the problems is that men don't seek help as often because they feel that there is a stigma attached.
Yes. They might not only be ridiculed but maybe not taken seriously or even get themselves in trouble.
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I do believe that things are changing but change doesn't happen overnight. It used to be acceptable to hit your wife if she was "out of line." That has changed. Change takes time.
It changed one way. Hopefully we will see a change with men being victims of violence.
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You never answered this. I would really like to know if you believe that everyone here teaches their daughters to hit people.
I did answer telling you that I was responding to another poster on how not only boys should be taught to respect girls but also the other way around. When you see a culture where nothing is done about men who are victims of violence compared to the other way around then you wonder if girls and boys are being taught that violence towards men is AS BAD as the other way around. Nobody in their right mind would teach their son/daughter that violence is the way to go and they should go out and hit people as you put it. But not teaching them that violence towards BOTH genders is wrong can be as bad.
There's still very little emotional support for either men or women. We can say that society sympathizes with women, but too many people still say "she had it coming" or "she deserves it for not leaving him the first time" (or some iteration of that).
I actually see it the other way around and the social experiment videos out there show this as well. Even a police officer that walked through one of those scenes thought the guy deserved it. When women who walked past through were asked their opinions where not that different either "He probably cheated...Men deserve it...He had it coming..." As for men hitting women, no, there are no excuses or reasons for it to be justified. Society sees that and will jump in to beat the guy, protect her, and call police. Nobody wonders if she deserves it or not. They just jump in to help. With a man in that situation, its completely the opposite.
I actually see it the other way around and the social experiment videos out there show this as well. Even a police officer that walked through one of those scenes thought the guy deserved it. When women who walked past through were asked their opinions where not that different either "He probably cheated...Men deserve it...He had it coming..." As for men hitting women, no, there are no excuses or reasons for it to be justified. Society sees that and will jump in to beat the guy, protect her, and call police. Nobody wonders if she deserves it or not. They just jump in to help. With a man in that situation, its completely the opposite.
Sometimes.
But I've seen quite a few examples where people will say an abuse victim deserves it for staying in the situation.
In fact, on this very thread we have men justifying it if the women says "hurtful things."
Whoopi Goldberg infamous commented last year about women provoking men to beat them.
I don't deny what you say: people definitely will say that about a man. That doesn't make it right.
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