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No, but reading what you have wrote and a little between the lines and pulling from my own experiences with 2 failed marraiges, hiring a prostitute is not too far of a stretch. For alot of guys when a woman starts not wanting to perform in the bed room its sort of the beginning of the end. Most guys I would assume dont go out and get a prostitute but not because of the anything to do with the spouse that has one foot out the door. More so becasue of legal issues, cost and disease.
I have talked with women who have said similar things that you have in real life, things like bringing up dishes, work, laundry, etc etc where sex is just one thing amoung this laundry list (no pun intended lol). When in reality sex and the specific things your doing or not doing in bed are like 80-90% of the battle for most men. Unless he is some obsessive compulsive wierdo he does not care about the laundry or dishes not getting done right then and there, if he was a smart guy he would just do them becuase they are easy.
If you think he is gross or what he likes in bed is gross then why even be with him in the first place?
Its hard to find women who are easy going freaks in the sheets, really hard, that was one of my deal breakers when I was looking and it quickly became apparent that it could be one of my very few deal breakers because so many women get weird about sex especially if a guy has kinks.
So your guy may have other issues but I know for me when my first ex started pruding out and I started looking for a FWB while married it quickly turned to looking for prostitutes in short order because there are very few women willing to just be a FB with a married guy.
I would imagin once you cross into that world (due to lack of women who are willing to deal with anything but the perfect sitaution) it becomes addictive, I would wager a guess that it feels like being a woman on a dating site where you can just hop on and get laid almost instantly, except he probably has a little black book, just text or call and he is good to go. No dog and pony show, dinners, flake outs or non interested women.
I did not start neglecting my first ex until the sex issues started because I frankly did not want to be around her if she thought I was repulsive.
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Originally Posted by cyber123
Oh OK my bad. It must have been my fault. I as a female didn't please him, in every way at all times. Nevermind, how many times he failed, disappointed, neglected me etc. That doesn't count.
Let's see. He cheated on his first and only wife with prostitutes led to divorce. Then for two decades still running with prostitutes so no relationship works out. His family can hardly recall any serious relationship because of prostitutes. Yeah, i didnt know that it was normal to be involved with prostitutes like that. Yeah, its me. Lmfao
Drugs are over the top, sounds like he has other issues. But that does not change the fact that the whole prostitute thing is a slippery slope, most guys dont have tons of options so if things go south in their relationships it is often times not feasible for a guy to just go get a FB or FWB like it is for a decent looking woman.
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Originally Posted by cyber123
I find it poignant what someone said that all they need is a best friend and sex. I would say a prostitute or ****, friends with benefits etc any could fulfill that. This really is take care of yourself, have good convo/rapport/sex and exchange money and sex.
How I was there for him was more nurturing and comprehensive which he didn't deserve. Some men don't appreciate that or care for it. I tried to make a 'home'.
What I saw when we broke up one time is for him. He had taken extra payday loan to pay for his ***** and to do drugs together. Apartment trashed while they were extravagant and wild. Right match for him. Lmao.
I think you are the person who looks at prostitutes not as a woman but as lesser human beings. In reality there are some women who decide to go this route to survive.
As far as men go I think many men have needs and see these women as a way of meeting them without all the baggage that comes in the dating world.
As a woman I would feel betrayed if my committed partner did this behind my back. For two reasons. First I care about my body and would not want to unknowingly be exposed to STD's Secondly I am a very sexual person and I feel like this arrangement would put me at a disadvantage. I don't want to be the best friend wife role and have someone else get the best of the sexual part of the relationship.
I am probably rare as a woman as I could probably outdo most men for sexual appetite. I don't see sex as an exchange for good behavior. I feel it is a requirement and you owe it to your partner to meet those needs.
As long as you and your partner are willing to work hard to make your fantasy a reality I would say the "reality" you speak of is for the birds. If I resigned to living in "reality" I may have already put a pistol in my mouth.
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Originally Posted by usayit
Just like any other vice such as alcohol, gambling, drugs... sex can displace healthier things in life. In this case, regular healthy relationships.
There also have been a couple threads here of men who have no desire for establishing a committed relationship. Turned off by the drama potential hurt and work required to maintain a relationship. Some are more committed to their careers or enjoying life as they want.
I don't think it is unnatural not to want to be in a relationship. How they fulfill their desires.. well.. they do find a way.
Whatever the case, he is fulfilling needs and desires from prostitutes. Prostitutes are paid to act out a guys fantasy... they paid to give 100% full attention to their client. Its not the same as being with your SO. It is not reality. Sounds like he is caught up in his fantasy... It is a fantasy "regular" women cannot participate because a real relationship is a two way street.
I don't think there is anything wrong with playing out one's fantasies but I do think it may be a problem when one elevates the fantasy above reality.
As long as you and your partner are willing to work hard to make your fantasy a reality I would say the "reality" you speak of is for the birds. If I resigned to living in "reality" I may have already put a pistol in my mouth.
If you mean by "partner" a prostitute, then I don't agree. It will also be nothing more than just a business transaction for adult entertainment.
If by "partner" you mean an significant other, then yes... making fantasies come true can be a lot of fun.
However, the person the OP describes seems obsessed with prostitutes.
This is a key difference. Since the OP's ex was on drugs (and I am assuming it was hard drugs and not just pot) then there are other issues at play. BUT, in the case of prostitutes in a isolation most women are not like you in the bolded, most men would never cheat on a woman like you. ITs the women that start out doing X and Y in bed and then over time they dont want to do X anymore then Y then they dont even want sex as much. Its a huge issue I hear over and over and over again with guys and its like the women just dont get it.
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Originally Posted by Mindlessness
I think you are the person who looks at prostitutes not as a woman but as lesser human beings. In reality there are some women who decide to go this route to survive.
As far as men go I think many men have needs and see these women as a way of meeting them without all the baggage that comes in the dating world.
As a woman I would feel betrayed if my committed partner did this behind my back. For two reasons. First I care about my body and would not want to unknowingly be exposed to STD's Secondly I am a very sexual person and I feel like this arrangement would put me at a disadvantage. I don't want to be the best friend wife role and have someone else get the best of the sexual part of the relationship.
I am probably rare as a woman as I could probably outdo most men for sexual appetite. I don't see sex as an exchange for good behavior. I feel it is a requirement and you owe it to your partner to meet those needs.
Though I don't have to answer your demands, like you are personally stressed (strange) like im supposed to justify myself. I don't care in this case I will oblige you. Heh. I found out later from his family. No family or friends are going to let you know someone's skeletons in the beginning even. Its only after these behaviors come out and others feel its OK to confirm it, otherwise it would be viewed as betrayal or interference. Duh
I misunderstood you OP. From what you say, he is an abusive man with traits of narcissism. Giving his ex wife an STD and compulsively lying to you is abuse. This isn't a lifelong fetish, but a mental problem. I suggest you get some therapy for the abuse he inflicted on you and any trust issues you may have now towards men.
LOL, you're joking right??? "Ignorance about prostitution" let me guess, you have a discount card with the local working girls??
What are you some kind of prostitution lobbyist????
No.. but to insinuate people who defend women's rights who work as prostitutes are pimps is absolutely ignorant. No one who wants protections for these women supports pimping....
Prostitution is an occupation. Pimps are people who take those who work as prostitutes and take away their free-will through intimidation and violence. No different from those that that use forced labor.
I have many friends who are working girls. I have been in a two year relationships with a woman who was a working girl. I very much care for her and my friends. What I want is them to be safe. Safe from the all too common assault and abuse that goes unreported because of fear of prosecution themselves. They are people and should be treated as such... Due to their circumstances are treated as subhuman that is not privy to all the protections that the rest of us enjoy.
As someone already mentioned (Nevada brothels), once prostitution as an occupation is protected under law... you can regulate it and control it. Women are free to leave and can seek the full protections of the law as the rest of us take for granted.
Some countries make the sale of sex legal but the purchase of sex illegal. Its imperfect system but allows women who sell sex seek the authorities if assaulted... which is fine by me.
I'm so sick and tired of seeing people I care for get assaulted and preyed on because it is well known they cannot report it to the authorities.
This is a key difference. Since the OP's ex was on drugs (and I am assuming it was hard drugs and not just pot) then there are other issues at play. BUT, in the case of prostitutes in a isolation most women are not like you in the bolded, most men would never cheat on a woman like you. ITs the women that start out doing X and Y in bed and then over time they dont want to do X anymore then Y then they dont even want sex as much. Its a huge issue I hear over and over and over again with guys and its like the women just dont get it.
I think people forget that their partner's needs don't disappear just because one of them has a lower sex drive.
Exactly its sex for money, not because they care for you or love you. You say it like its virtuous. Bottom line a woman doesn't have morals stopping her from charging a doctors salary to open her legs.
So you opened this thread to discuss the topic under the false pretense of judging and criticizing it.
If you already have a strong stance against prostitution, then what is the point of this thread?
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I don't see sex as an exchange for good behavior. I feel it is a requirement and you owe it to your partner to meet those needs.
