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This post is not about wanting to know how to get back together with an ex.
This post is asking how do you get to a point where you DON'T want to get back together with an ex.
I'm assuming it's normal to pine over an ex (to some degree, especially if you were the one that was dumped and especially in the early stages of a breakup). While I wouldn't say I'm feeling something as strong as the word "pine" implies, I do find myself thinking a lot about the possibility of getting back with my ex.
I just have this constant nagging feeling that it's possible. That eventually he'll come to me with the suggestion. That if I just wait, work on myself, and continue to reflect and grow, that he'll realize what he's missing and come to me. That I'll be one of the lucky ones where it works out for us in the end.
This nagging feeling just won't go away as much as I want it to. It's actually worse now than earlier in the breakup. I hate feeling so hopeful about something that will not happen. I know anything is possible, but the logical part of me knows this is not.
I also know I should not and will not be the one to go to him. He made the decision to end it. I would feel desperate and pathetic if I go groveling to him. I don't even want to casually text/contact him to see what he's up to or how he's doing. If it's going to happen it needs to come from him.
Or does it?
Someone talk some sense into me. Or tell me success stories of getting over this feeling (or getting back together).
Cut all contact, delete phone numbers, block on social media, stop googling and obsessing etc etc. With time, date others and move on with your life. There really is no magic potion that will allow you to get over someone. Time can only do that.
Focus on the things you didn't like about him. Be thankful you don't have to put up with that anymore.
Think how much more pain you would have to endure if he did come back...& then left you again.
This post is not about wanting to know how to get back together with an ex.
This post is asking how do you get to a point where you DON'T want to get back together with an ex.
I'm assuming it's normal to pine over an ex (to some degree, especially if you were the one that was dumped and especially in the early stages of a breakup). While I wouldn't say I'm feeling something as strong as the word "pine" implies, I do find myself thinking a lot about the possibility of getting back with my ex.
I just have this constant nagging feeling that it's possible. That eventually he'll come to me with the suggestion. That if I just wait, work on myself, and continue to reflect and grow, that he'll realize what he's missing and come to me. That I'll be one of the lucky ones where it works out for us in the end.
This nagging feeling just won't go away as much as I want it to. It's actually worse now than earlier in the breakup. I hate feeling so hopeful about something that will not happen. I know anything is possible, but the logical part of me knows this is not.
I also know I should not and will not be the one to go to him. He made the decision to end it. I would feel desperate and pathetic if I go groveling to him. I don't even want to casually text/contact him to see what he's up to or how he's doing. If it's going to happen it needs to come from him.
Or does it?
Someone talk some sense into me. Or tell me success stories of getting over this feeling (or getting back together).
You should probably move forward and assume he won't come back...... He may come back and you'll do that back and forth nightmare that sometimes happens, but again, I wouldn't count on it.
Corny saying, but when one door closes another opens.....
Stop involving them in the way that creates intimacy with them in your life.
Close yourself off to them the in same way you would do to any stranger you walk by on the street.
It's what got them in, now take it back to get them away.
Those nagging feelings are your inability to close your vulnerable side off towards them. You WANT them to accept you still so you keep the doors to your heart wide open and offer them the keys in the event they want to enter again to lock themselves back in.
Its "you" making this choice, not them. Your are purposfully leaving things ambiguous so their is no forward or backwards, just the hope inbetween offers you.
You have to come to the personal realization to close that door off to them if you ever hope to move away from wanting Them to occupy that space in your heart ever again.
Last edited by rego00123; 10-16-2015 at 03:37 PM..
I'd say 6 months of no-contact whatsoever and you start to feel like you are OK again.
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