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An update, which made me realize what is going on.
She did end up calling me.
We talked for over 2 hours. Her problem is that she has severe depression and anxiety issues. She told me every week she skypes with her physcologist and takes medication. The medication kills her sex drive. A lot of the time she doesn't want to see people and just locks her self in her room. She even locks her self away from her friends as well.
That explains the mood swings, cancelling dates last minute, being affectionate and into it and then suddenly being cold and distant a few days later.
She talked about her life, and how her mental illness has destroyed her university education. Or how she has trouble connecting to people and making new friends. She did have a successful career back in south america and a long term boyfriend for 3 years (i wonder how he put up with her).
She wants to meet in December when she will be able to cut down on her working hours, currently she works 6 days a week now some times 7 days a week. She wants to celebrate my birthday with me as well.
We agreed that it was a good idea not to see each other for the next month or so, and that we should try dating again from December and see how it works out. It was quite strange as she said if i dated another person and they became my gf she would be very happy for me but at the same time sad and never talk to me again. She said she would also love to talk to me every second night. But i agreed to just talking to her every Wednesday. I explained to her carefully its not because i was not interested in her but because i think we both needed a bit of distance.
What ever happens i will try to be her friend and help her. In some ways this has kind of put me off her, but the good times we shared and when she is in a good mood she fantastic, and i feel really bad if i just dissapear from her life, i don't want to make her more depressed.
Her being in a new country with no real friends or family, and going from a good office job in south america to being a cleaner are things that have made her depression worse.
So confusing
1. Excuses, excuses, excuses.
2. If you have this many issues with communication - as in you don't even really speak the same language - how much of a bond could you really have formed? I think you're just desperate for attention and affection ... at least that is certainly the way it comes across.
3. Just because a person sees a therapist does not mean there is something "wrong" with them, and they probably don't need/want help from someone like you. Some people just need a professional to talk to to sort through their feelings, and the last thing they need is someone patronizing them by insinuating that they're broken and can be fixed by you.
4. Has it occurred to you that she might be looking for a dude to help her stay in the country, temporarily or permanently?
You sound very young and inexperienced, as someone else said in this thread. This woman is NOT into you...she told you that in no uncertain terms when she said she didn't feel any passion for you, and that the kisses were "just good." She tried to cut you away, but out of desperation you're clinging on for dear life. So, she'll tolerate you for now, when she's bored or feeling lonely. But the moment she meets someone who really lights her fire, she'll drop you like a hot potato. In the meantime, you'll be wasting your energy and emotions on this chica. Have some pride and say "Gracias, pero no me gusta."
This is going to sound brutal but she really isn't interested. She keeps telling you that but you keep pushing. She is trying to let you down gently. A lot of women even when directly asked are not going to be able to tell you that they are not interested. Instead they say things like I like you as a friend.
I'ld also advise against a wall of text when someone is telling you they need to sleep. Wish you all the best in your search.
It's not even about "doing everything right." She's just not right for him. She sounds like a mess.
Even if he was actually in the position to decide if she was right for him, he did everything wrong. Not only is she a mess; he gave her all the power.
Im going to have dinner with her at her place. Her best friend is coming over because she is going through a divorce.
I guess she will be introducing me to her best friend, and cook dinner for us. We are going to try cheer up her best friend.
Strange last few days. Talk about an emotion roller coaster
Ha ha ha Ha. Let me see now – I wonder how long before you are here posting wondering why you are confused about her again. Some people just can't resist putting themselves in positions to get jerked around
Maybe you can even stick in the plot by thinking her divorcing friend is into you
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