Why don't more women have compassion on shy men (separate, college, issues)
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At this point not having animosity is a struggle for some people. I never knew how many people outright hated shy people.
Really, I don't get that from this thread. A couple of people are exposing themselves pretty unflatteringly, bust several have said they either like shy people or at least respect the challenges shy people face. And even regarding some of the pushback against shyness, I think it's often based on misconceptions about how or why people are shy, and the assumption that it's always correctable. That assumption then logically goes something like,
P: Shyness is correctable through effort
P: John is shy
C: John did not make the effort to correct shyness
I know from my own experience and the experience of others I know that good, thoughtful, and persistently applied efforts sometimes fail or only partially correct a problem. That first premise is a necessary but not sufficient condition for dealing with shyness. It's no guarantee, although I agree that not trying does guarantee failure.
At this point not having animosity is a struggle for some people. I never knew how many people had such outright contempt for shy people.
There is no contempt being expressed here. But how anyone could think that shyness is something deserving of compassion, well, that's just absurd. The OP expressed that he feels HIS shyness should be treated like a disability or an illness. You really agree with that??
There is no contempt being expressed here. But how anyone could think that shyness is something deserving of compassion, well, that's just absurd. The OP expressed that he feels HIS shyness should be treated like a disability or an illness. You really agree with that??
Of course there is contempt being expressed here, go back a few pages and read what butterfish wrote, the last couple of sentences of her post read like she was talking about some kind of thief or worse.... LOL...
Yeah, it's a hot mess. I know I asked this one woman her name last weekend and she didn't want to tell me. Her excuse? She was too drunk to remember. Riiiiiiight.
Of course there is contempt being expressed here, go back a few pages and read what butterfish wrote, the last couple of sentences of her post read like she was talking about some kind of thief or worse.... LOL...
ChessieMom quoted and agreed with butterfish, so she probably doesn't see the ugliness.
ChessieMom quoted and agreed with butterfish, so she probably doesn't see the ugliness.
LOL, post 141 I'm talking about, the last line, if a man said those things to my face, some furniture would get moved around, if you know what I mean.....
You do not understand the basic principles of attraction. No one gets "hot" because a guy engenders our sympathy. If they DO feel sympathy for you, the chances that they would ALSO be turned on by you is unlikely.
Does your arousal level for a woman go up if you feel sorry for them? The problem is you are for some reason assuming female sexual arousal is different than males, but it's not. Women want men they are hot for just like men do.
I agree with this. I think the OP is confusing a potential partner with a mother figure. Sure, any decent woman (or men) is expected to be cabaple of feeling sympathy, but sympathy doesn't put butterflies in anyone's stomach, and women smell it from miles when someone is trying tu play the 'poor me' card to get into her panties.
LOL, post 141 I'm talking about, the last line, if a man said those things to my face, some furniture would get moved around, if you know what I mean.....
Damned straight. We'd certainly come to a new understanding.
Of course there is contempt being expressed here, go back a few pages and read what butterfish wrote, the last couple of sentences of her post read like she was talking about some kind of thief or worse.... LOL...
Honestly, I don't interpret it that way. Not at all. Speaking for myself, I feel that anyone that complains about how shyness is affecting their life, and then, not only do they refuse to do anything about it but they hold OTHERS responsible for their lack of success, well, those people are lazy, at best. At worst, they have a fear of failure that is so great that they never overcome it to take a chance.. And truthfully, I find none of that to be appealing. Not being contemptuous. Just offering my own feelings on the OP's post.
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