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To be honest, I have yet to see what shyness has to do with this thread. Asking a girl out and having her turn you down has nothing to do with shyness. In fact, I would venture to say that asking someone out is not even the act of a shy person - so her rejection pretty much has absolutely nothing to do with shyness.
A true shy person would never even attempt to date or ask a person out.
LOL, post 141 I'm talking about, the last line, if a man said those things to my face, some furniture would get moved around, if you know what I mean.....
There'd be a huge problem if someone talked about me like that to my face. I don't get the hatred towards shy people.
I kind of took it as the OP referring to people treating shyness and/or introversion as personality defects, rather than variations of normal.
But the examples that he's giving have nothing to do with that. All of his examples are about how women reject him when he hits on them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 49ersfan27
A true shy person would never even attempt to date or ask a person out.
And that's what I'm thinking. Or rather - you can be shy and find the courage to ask someone out - but asking someone out isn't an act of shyness. Therefore, if you are rejected, it won't be because of your shyness.
But the examples that he's giving have nothing to do with that. All of his examples are about how women reject him when he hits on them.
And that's what I'm thinking. Or rather - you can be shy and find the courage to ask someone out - but asking someone out isn't an act of shyness. Therefore, if you are rejected, it won't be because of your shyness.
I agree. If a person gets rejected it doesn't have anything to do with being outgoing or shy. The man or woman just isn't attracted to said person.
So you just can't plain old fashioned say it was a crappy thing to say???
I grew up shy, always have been, it's gotten better over the years, but when I read stuff like that I just roll my eyes, to the point of pulling an eyeball muscle.
I've gone to college, got a degree, got a job with a fortune 150 company, bought a house before I was 30, have more money in my 401k's than any other person I know, earn within the top 15 percent within my age group, have no debt, in positions of authority at work, been in a LTR for 23 yrs.
Plus I can make people laugh
Does that sound like a boring unambitious lazy, insecure, unconfident person to you???
People need to be cautious when they get out their broad brushes and make offensive statements as she did.
That is one of the things I've learned on this forum, the whole book cover thingy.....
Chow, you are many things, but I am fairly certain that shyness is not holding you back from success. Is it? Just the fact that you know you have the ability to make people sort of removes you from the same category as the OP. I was shy growing up too. Many of us were. Still are. THAT in and of itself, is not the issue presented by the OP, at least not as I have interpreted it. I read it as the OP claiming he is a victim. He certainly is not.
There is a lot of rudeness here on this forum, I agree. I certainly have dished out my share, mostly out of pure annoyance at the same dang stupid stuff being posted again and again and again.
But I respect your posts here, a great deal. I think you are one of the more sensible folks here. And because of that, I will step back here and offer my apologies to anyone that believes I was intending to offend.
Last edited by ChessieMom; 11-13-2015 at 01:49 PM..
I think that because you identify with being shy that you are seeing things in a different way. Let me put it like this - you've been shy BUT you have achieved great things and have a pretty darn good life. You aren't coming on here and asking for pity and you aren't making excuses. You aren't asking to be treated special because you feel that you are a victim. You are VERY different from the OP. THe OP is rubbing people the wrong way - and it has nothing to do with being shy.
I get what you're saying, I really do, but if someone had said those things about an extroverted outgoing person, that they were "incompetent, lazy, boring, unambitious, insecure" I"d say the same thing, that it was rude and uncalled for.
What is it with people not giving a god damn inch in the world when it comes to discussions, couldn't someone simply say' "yeah, it was rude and bit harsh" and then proceed to provide their arguments.
I've been seeing it so much on CD lately, It's called being intellectually dishonest....
I've run my mouth off here and said stuff that was out of line, someone called me on and I look at it and think, "yeah, there's some merit to that" and I proceed to give credit or take blame when necessary.
One time I did that and someone about keeled over with shock that I owned up to something rude or not factual. It's a sad world we live in when someone is shocked that someone else can actually take some criticism or another point of view on a subject and simply say, yeah.. I have my facts wrong, or was rude.
I'm not hostile toward you or chessiemom's cause you guys are good long time posters, I'm just talking in general, people get so attached to their opinions that they can'tconcede not even one inch....
Hard to have an open honest discussion.
Post 141, the last line is JUST RUDE. You switch it up to someone who's like I said an extrovert or talkative and I'd say that someone describing them as such was rude.
I have no personal investment here, I've done well in life and I don't care what others think about me, I'm merely pointing out incorrect and frankly rude as hell comments.
A true shy person would never even attempt to date or ask a person out.
Agreed with this. Seems if you (general) can ask someone out, and / or flirt like hell, you're not shy. lol May be quiet, or an introvert. But shy, probably not.
I am shy. It's gotten much better far as professional settings go. But just social interaction in another matter. Rarely will I ever speak to anyone 1st. However, if they speak to me, then I can chat away with no problem..
Agreed with this. Seems if you (general) can ask someone out, and / or flirt like hell, you're not shy. lol May be quiet, or an introvert. But shy, probably not.
I am shy. It's gotten much better far as professional settings go. But just social interaction in another matter. Rarely will I ever speak to anyone 1st. However, if they speak to me, then I can chat away with no problem..
Sounds like me. I was very shy when I was younger and it has improved.
Sorry but what was the purpose of this thread? Women are not mind readers. Why would they spend time on a shy person who has difficulty expressing interest right away? For all they know the guy is not interested at all so why waste time when there are other guys who are confident or vocal about what they want.
Sorry but what was the purpose of this thread? Women are not mind readers. Why would they spend time on a shy person who has difficulty expressing interest right away? For all they know the guy is not interested at all so why waste time when there are other guys who are confident or vocal about what they want.
THIS is what I've been trying to ask.
I don't understand how the OP expects us to show compassion.
Several women have stated that they like shy men, but how are they supposed to know if the guy is disinterested or just shy?
Everyone's so busy talking about ONE post that disparaged shy men, that they went completely OT.
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