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Maybe she did not feel that you were approachable in THAT situation. Maybe you gave off an unfriendly vibe so she hesitated. Maybe she "thought" that you looked familiar but was not quite sure. Maybe the fact that you didn't even look up was off putting to her.
No offense but you come across (in your posts) as being a bit harsh and judgmental.
Lol, so much so, that we dated. MAYBE.
If that passes for "harsh and judgmental" then, none taken, don't care.
But then why are you guys asking WOMEN to do that very same thing that you are saying that you don't do?
Apples and oranges. I think that guys are asking women to do it because many women complain about the quality (or lack thereof) of guys who approach them when they could reasonably cut down on it by just talking to the guys they are interested in.
In any case, this is probably one of those things where "life isn't fair." Neither gender wants to risk rejection, it's just that many women can get away with sitting back and letting the chips fall where they may. Many men can't just sit back and wait for a woman to approach them in that sense.
Men are meant to approach women. Its one of many ways you are given opportunity to showcase your confidence and your behavior. Base don your actions, how you carry and present yourself, and some other criteria, a woman has a choice of saying yes or no. Thems the breakes. If you want women to approach you, youre gonna lose. Build your confidence guys and work on becoming fearless. You will get to a point where you can take any rejection in stride and you will start succeeding at great rates. It takes balls, that's all.
The concept of an "introvert", if it is to represent a genuine psychological kind of thing, means "one who gets his stimulation from within the mind". Say someone who studies chess problems or philosophy or science. An extravert is one who gets his stimulation from outside the mind, such as friends and conversation.
Extraverts make for better telly so you rarely see introverts in the media. But introversion is not about being shy. It is certainly not a pathology. Introverts like being that way.
That is an interesting interpretation. Please note that the introverts are usually the ones pulling the strings and not the puppets dancing. I would rather be with the brains behind the operation then the court jester. A smart person knows that what is behind all the smoke and mirrors is what actually matters .
Apples and oranges. I think that guys are asking women to do it because many women complain about the quality (or lack thereof) of guys who approach them when they could reasonably cut down on it by just talking to the guys they are interested in.
In any case, this is probably one of those things where "life isn't fair." Neither gender wants to risk rejection, it's just that many women can get away with sitting back and letting the chips fall where they may. Many men can't just sit back and wait for a woman to approach them in that sense.
You are actually sorely mistaken. MOST women are approached by men fairly regularly to fairly often so we really are not in the same boat.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by calipoppy
But then why are you guys asking WOMEN to do that very same thing that you are saying that you don't do?
I never have. Have I? I would never expect a girl to come up to me across the room, someone that doesn't know me from anyone else, and chat me up. Why would they? All they would know about me is my physical appearance. They know nothing about me so can't really be attracted to me. I guess they could be bored.
Its no different with approaching women. Being cute is a FAR FAR cry from being a good enough reason to try to chat them up, If that were enough I would trying to be talking to ten different strangers a day. Totally creepy. If there is a reason to approach them, or we just happen to start talking while in proximity and I find myself liking the conversation and I find them attractive, that's a different animal altogether.
If you think dudes are going to randomly walk up to a random stranger just because she's cuter than average, you have another thing coming. Cute women are a dime a dozen, I'm not, and I don't know any decent, non skeezy dude that is just going to try to hit on them because they have nice hair or a nice figure or something. That's some low class stuff right there.
Yea, I must be low classleazy . I see an attractive figure, I'm going to approach. I'm surely not approaching obese women in a motorized wheelchairs
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,087,829 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hawaiiancoconut
Yea, I must be low classleazy . I see an attractive figure, I'm going to approach. I'm surely not approaching obese women in a motorized wheelchairs
I guess I'm an outlier. I see cute women all over the place. That's far from a good enough reason to try to talk to them, since I have no reason to want to try to talk to them (if there is a reason, that's another matter). I have to be attracted to them before I even think about pursuing them romantically, and just a body isn't going to do that.
I never have. Have I? I would never expect a girl to come up to me across the room, someone that doesn't know me from anyone else, and chat me up. Why would they? All they would know about me is my physical appearance. They know nothing about me so can't really be attracted to me. I guess they could be bored.
Its no different with approaching women. Being cute is a FAR FAR cry from being a good enough reason to try to chat them up, If that were enough I would trying to be talking to ten different strangers a day. Totally creepy. If there is a reason to approach them, or we just happen to start talking while in proximity and I find myself liking the conversation and I find them attractive, that's a different animal altogether.
Okay I would not really approach a man and I am generally shy about this stuff and would want to know a guy is actually interested in me, but I am also mischievous as are other women especially when they are with their friends. If with my friends and feeling mischievous I would have possibly approached a man to chat. Women being forward when in groups is more likely. Some women .. like myself are sneaky about this... they might try to throw you some signals. Ex casually walking around where you are giving you the opportunity to notice them, maybe finding a neutral question to ask you ex do you know where something is or something general that does not to seem like they are trying to throw themselves at you.
You also need to be receptive if a women is throwing hints. A woman especially with friends might be eyeing you and smiling.
Don't be silly some people are just attracted to each other and do not need to read your biography to be interested in talking to you. It could be as basic as I like his shirt or he has nice eyes. Not everything has to be so complicated. Everyone has their likes and dislikes even if they seem silly to someone else. I actually like when a guy approaches me and seems a bit nervous or shy. I strangely take it as a sign of respect and kind of like making a man blush. Sometimes men with too much confidence come across at arrogant and get shot down as a results as well. I personally would be way more critical or likely to shot down a man if they are too pushy or showy.
Most interest is peaked by some sort of physical interest and not all women or men are attracted to the same thing so you cannot really say anyone is 100% a write off. Shy guys might want to pay more closer attentions to cues. Something a woman might walk up to them to talk if he is responsive to her cues ex. If a women is smiling at you from across the room, smile smiling back and making casual eye contact. If she is too shy to come over then maybe one of her friends will lol to try and feel you out. Also pick a better wing man. It is much easier to approach someone to chat if you could care less about the outcome. So send your wing man over to feel out the situation.
There is one specific guy I only dated because of his nervous approach. I was with friends. I was told he was checking me out for a while when we were playing pool, but I was too shy and too blind (was not wearing glasses or contacts that night lol) to make eye contact back. Later we were outside waiting for someone and I was sitting on the steps. He actually shyly approached me to casually talk while his friend talked with my other friends (he had a pretty good wing man). It was sweet. He asked for my number and I gave it to him and we went out. Men do not want to act like pompous narcissistic macho idiots to meet women. Many women are not looking for someone like that and I know plenty that are actually really mean to men act like that when they approach them.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,087,829 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by klmrocks
Don't be silly some people are just attracted to each other and do not need to read your biography to be interested in talking to you. It could be as basic as I like his shirt or he has nice eyes. Not everything has to be so complicated. Everyone has their likes and dislikes even if they seem silly to someone else. I actually like when a guy approaches me and seems a bit nervous or shy. I strangely take it as a sign of respect and kind of like making a man blush. Sometimes men with too much confidence come across at arrogant and get shot down as a results as well. I personally would be way more critical or likely to shot down a man if they are too pushy or showy.
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I never said nor implied anything about a biography.
And a shirt is liking someone's fashion sense. Nice eyes is about thinking someone has good looking physical attributes. I wasn't talking about those things, I was talking about attraction, which is different. Someone being physically good looking isn't the same as being attracted to them.
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Introverts ....
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