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I'll walk up to a dude, or a 55 yo woman, or 19 yo girl or whatever wearing a cool band/brewery/whatever shirt, sure. That's a reason to talk to them, do it fairly frequently. It would be even more interesting if it was a 80 yo woman or man as it would be more unusual.
I would talk to that person whether they be male or female, cute or not cute. A perfume though would probably make me detour west. That is what I do. I talk to people for the sake of talking to people.
I mean, lets say I'm at a bar and there a dudes on either side of me and we're chatting about music or football and having a decent time... and a cute chick (dime a dozen) sits further down the bar with an empty seat next to them. Am I going to get all creepy like they do in the movies or TV and pick up my drink and move down and sit down next to her? Heck the F no. Women notice that sheet a mile a way and are (from the ones I know) freaked out about it. Plus, I have no reason to sit next to her at that point.
Well of course I would like the ONE (if such a thing exists), but my last good relationship started as a ONS that didn't end for close to a year. I'm hardly adverse to them, its just that I don't look for them. It's much easier to just text a FB or FWB if relief is needed.
You are clearly not that shy after all. If you have FB or FWB ...then you are actually not shy at all. You have no appetite for a full blown mongomus relationship because you have been snacking of other options to meet your needs as they arise.
Why would you be thinking of a romantic relationship with someone you've never talked to in the first place?
Okay I do not personally know you, but based on what you are writing it seems like you are currently an emontionally unavailable person. Emontionally unavailable people in my opinion are pretty useless in the sense of dating and might as well just be a FB because their head and heart are not in to a real relationship and they can really confuse and hurt someone who is looking for a relationship.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by klmrocks
You are clearly not that shy after all. If you have FB or FWB ...then you are actually not shy at all. You have no appetite for a full blown mongomus relationship because you have been snacking of other options to meet your needs as they arise.
I never said I was shy. And plenty of people that are shy have FWBs, etc. Those aren't uncommon with adults, most people seem to have options. Old boyfriends/girlfriends, FBs, FWBs, etc aren't reserved to non shy people.
I would love a monogamous relationship. It's just that most women my age that I meet aren't interested in them. So I keep dating until I find one.
You're completely off base.
Quote:
Originally Posted by klmrocks
Okay I do not personally know you, but based on what you are writing it seems like you are currently an emontionally unavailable person. Emontionally unavailable people in my opinion are pretty useless in the sense of dating and might as well just be a FB because there head and heart are not in to a real relationship and they can really confuse and hurt someone who is looking for a relationship.
You're clearly don't know me since nothing could be further from the truth. You're point also has nothing to do with my question.
I never said I was shy. And plenty of people that are shy have FWBs, etc. Those aren't uncommon with adults, most people seem to have options. Old boyfriends/girlfriends, FBs, FWBs, etc aren't reserved to non shy people.
I would love a monogamous relationship. It's just that most women my age that I meet aren't interested in them. So I keep dating until I find one.
You're completely off base.
You're clearly don't know me since nothing could be further from the truth. You're point also has nothing to do with my question.
If you said everyone has a cell phone. I would get the generalization. FWB or FB are not the new norm at least where I am from. At this point I am not even sure if you had a question that you were putting out for discussion.
The more I read this thread, the more my compassion goes out the window.
YOU deal with your shyness, don't ask ME to deal with your shyness.
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If you said everyone has a cell phone. I would get the generalization. FWB or FB are not the new norm at least where I am from. At this point I am not even sure if you had a question that you were putting out for discussion.
They are not the norm where I live either, but according to some posters that is the new normal.
They are not the norm where I live either, but according to some posters that is the new normal.
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
Most people don't talk about them. Especially outside of close friends.
It all boils down to who you are and who you hang around. In which case it being the new normal and not being the new normal can both be true.
I think it might be the new normal for some groups of people. I think the type of person open to a FWB relationship has a certain personality type or maybe is part of a subculture (maybe more sexually liberal culture), etc and because they hang around like-minded people, it is the new norm for them.
For me, it's not a normal because I am (and hang around with) a different group of people with a different subculture. From my perspective, it's not done at all (everyone is married, engaged, or if single dating and proclaim "girlfriend or boyfriend").
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TMBGBlueCanary
For me, it's not a normal because I am (and hang around with) a different group of people with a different subculture. From my perspective, it's not done at all (everyone is married, engaged, or if single dating and proclaim "girlfriend or boyfriend").
Fair enough. But it is interesting that the conservatives that are often the biggest voices against sexual freedom/promiscuity/"lax" morals or whatever you want to call it are often the ones so commonly busted and exposed. See the huge number of preachers and conservative politicians busted having affairs (gay and straight).
I learned long ago, and I hope most people have, that so called morally conservative types are often the most devious in their actions, and those that are more free love (etc) are rather vanilla and boring relatively in their conduct; their just more likely to be open about their conduct when they have them.
Fair enough. But it is interesting that the conservatives that are often the biggest voices against sexual freedom/promiscuity/"lax" morals or whatever you want to call it are often the ones so commonly busted and exposed. See the huge number of preachers and conservative politicians busted having affairs (gay and straight).
I learned long ago, and I hope most people have, that so called morally conservative types are often the most devious in their actions, and those that are more free love (etc) are rather vanilla and boring relatively in their conduct; their just more likely to be open about their conduct when they have them.
To clarify, I am not talking about politically or morally conservative, I am talking sexually conservative. While morally and sexually conservative often run hand in hand, the don't always. Case in point is one of my gay friends and his husband. They are sexually conservative in that they both wanted a strong, committed relationship (and got married). The one who was my friend first didn't seem to sleep around or take part in the more liberal gay sexual culture--in that regard, he was sexually conservative. But he's not politically conservative at all and I he certainly doesn't go around preaching morals to anyone.
I am the same way I think I am the same way (although I am straight). I don't care what other people do, I don't preach to people, etc. I am politically moderate and kind of a live and let live person. In my own relationships though, I tend to be more sexually conservative when it comes to partners (being loyal to one person, no FWB or FB, or that sort of thing).
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Emontionally unavailable....
