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I've never felt a strong 'desire' in life to have kids. I always felt like it would be 'ok' if I had them but I've never felt that 'draw' to become a mother. And I don't necessarily connect with children when around them.
Recently I started conversing with a man over the past few weeks but we haven't met yet. We've both been very very busy and I've got a good bit of travel going on right now, but we plan to meet soon. The conversation about children just came up and I told him I didn't think I wanted kids. We talked about this in depth and I began to wonder to myself if I'm making a mistake by not having them.
I'm soon to be 37 and feel like if I wanted children I would have had them by now. One strange side note is that the last man I fell in love with a few years ago...I would have had a child by him. I wonder if deep down I do want them but I'm just afraid? Afraid of not knowing how to be a good mother. Afraid of being ''tied down" once having them. Afraid since once you have kids, they become #1 and I have dreams/aspirations I think will all 'go to the back burner' so to speak after having children...and eventually disappear. Afraid of the risks of having a less healthy child because of my age by the time I had one if I chose to do so. Afraid since the divorce rate is so high that I will eventually end up a single mother as I was raised by a single mother.
I actually have considered not talking to this man anymore because I am thinking to myself....what's the point? We don't see eye to eye on a deal breaker issue...why continue talking and why meet?
Anyways, sorry for the rambling. It's strange I don't seem to even know if I really want children or not....at this age I should know. Or at least decide so I'm not confusing or misleading anyone I date at this point. So anyways...I'm curious to know if anyone here ever changed their mind about not having children to having them? If so, why?
No.....I never have and now I'm in my 50's and I'm fine with it. Don't have kids 'just in case' - think of everyone you're hurting if you are wrong! It's like getting married out of desperation because all your friends are, but a million times worse.
oh, i've always said i wanted 12 children...after watching cheaper by the dozen as a kid. i was like, i'm having 12 children for sure.
as it stands, i'm 26 and at 0. i need to get to work.
i will compromise in that she'll have 6, and then we can adopt the other 6. it's actually a deal breaker..if she won't have 6 children by me. i mean, i've already compromised..i wanted 12! no, i haven't changed my mind about that..
I always wanted to have 2 kids coz I have an older sibling. I've since changed this to 1 child coz I get the parenting experience without stressing over finances.
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