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It's why some women tend to dress younger and try and look younger, the successful men their age may be looking for that younger looking woman. Doesn't mean her age always has to be young either. If he's 45, and been told constantly he looks mid 30s, there's a slim chance he's going to want to date a woman who's 45 and looks her age. Sure it's vain, but people tend to try and look younger, not older.
That's a great observation. Good genes in my family, and out in the wild, my sisters and I were always approached by younger men. Online, I had a couple of people not believe my pictures were recent, so I started date-stamping them. If I ever try OLD again, and I hear that again, I might take a picture with a newspaper, like they do with hostages.
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Originally Posted by timberline742
It would be hilarious if they weren't serious about it. Good post. I remember dating in my 20s. It's 10000x better now for me as a guy, personally. I also know that I and pretty much every 20 something I knew and know now is an emotional child regarding relationships in their 20s.
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Originally Posted by MissClutterbuck
There's also that thing, though, where people in their 20s think they have life figured out.
I'm not saying that to put down the 20 somethings here. Some of them have great insight. But it's definitely a "thing" that, when you're in your 20s, you think you have things figured out.
Then when you reach your 30s, life hits you in the face like a Mack truck, and you realize you'll never have it figured it. Lol.
No kidding! About the only things I had figured out at that age were that I didn't want kids and how to drink tequila without barfing later. One night my friends and I were sitting around, having said tequila, and we had this conversation. We were all 27, and we were all very impressed with ourselves. "So, we're here. We've arrived. This is life, the real world. If we can all avoid joining the 27 Club. We're set!"
And then Kurt Cobain died a couple of months later.
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Originally Posted by FycBST2
You are citing variables that needed to be excluded from the equation.
Why? We all have our own set of variables. That's why threads like this crack me up. The whole challenge to dating--at any age-- is finding the equation where you can plug in your variables and have them add up to something substantial. I know a small town or suburban area where the men hunt and the women teach Sunday school isn't going to work for me. City in a blue state? I'm good.
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Originally Posted by homina12
Do you really think you have the "truth" market cornered? In any case, the OP mentioned that she had read in several men's blogs that women have a tougher time dating when they turn 35 or 40. I've read some of those blogs, perhaps not the same one's the OP has because she didn't identify them, but still, blogs written by men telling women what women's experience is. Presumptuous at least, and likely a bit delusional, but I digress.
Those blogs almost always approach this subject as a warning of sorts that women will essentially pay for being independent and single through their 30s by being unable to find a good man when they're ready to settle down. Classic concern trolling. Everyone's options change as they age. Men and women past their 20s have ex's and kids and the early stirrings of health issues. These days many women in their 30s are doing better career wise than their male counterparts. Sure, some people will time their romantic desires poorly, and some will be disappointed in their romantic options at various points in life, but that's hardly a "women's" problem.
What a great phrase! I've been looking for one that describes the mindset behind this phenomenon.
This phenomenon is ridiculous, too. I've seen guys on this very forum go on about how if a woman changes her approach to dating in terms of what she wants as she gets older, it's because she's lowering her standards out of desperation. These are the same young guys who lament women their age who are hung up on height, the kind of car a guy drives, and how much money a guy makes.
Yeah, hi. In my early 20s I wouldn't date anyone who wasn't at least 6 inches taller than myself, who didn't at least have a Bachelor's, and who wouldn't go out in anything less dressy than a collared shirt.
And then I grew up. That's not lowering standards. It's more like realizing the "standards" I had before were pretty stupid and superficial. That's why it's called the folly of youth.
Men grow up, too. I see young guys on here talking about how "if my wife ever gains 20 pounds, DIVORCE." Yeah, okay, kids. Let us know when you actually fall in love with someone.
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Originally Posted by timberline742
No, because if you acted like a 22 yo at 36 you'd be a immature idiot as an adult and that's a total turn off.
Do you really think you have the "truth" market cornered? In any case, the OP mentioned that she had read in several men's blogs that women have a tougher time dating when they turn 35 or 40. I've read some of those blogs, perhaps not the same one's the OP has because she didn't identify them, but still, blogs written by men telling women what women's experience is. Presumptuous at least, and likely a bit delusional, but I digress.
Those blogs almost always approach this subject as a warning of sorts that women will essentially pay for being independent and single through their 30s by being unable to find a good man when they're ready to settle down. Classic concern trolling. Everyone's options change as they age. Men and women past their 20s have ex's and kids and the early stirrings of health issues. These days many women in their 30s are doing better career wise than their male counterparts. Sure, some people will time their romantic desires poorly, and some will be disappointed in their romantic options at various points in life, but that's hardly a "women's" problem.
So, whats your point? The question of this thread, reads "Does Dating get Harder for Women as they age?". My answer, is - Yes, it does get harder, because men are most attracted to younger women and because of it, women at young age have many options to choose from. As they age, options decrease. Every objective study, survey and logical opinion proves my stance to be correct. But this thread is full of aged women and beta orbiters, who somehow have turned this conversation into "i wont tell you the truth, because Id rather not make your life harder or make you upset, so lets talk about what aged, less attractive women have to also offer - instead of answering the actual question". Truth is, men find young women more attractive. It isn't my truth, it is a universal truth and there is only one. You can lie to yourself and pretend that isn't the case, but that is simply a waste of time.
And if women do so much better in their careers than men, perhaps we should stop lowering standards to achieve equality of outcomes and stop whining about some 77 cents to a dollar fantasy. You cant have it both ways.
Those who develop early, with fine physical gifts and personal aplomb, will often find that age brings diminution from the heights of youth. Others develop later, and likely have less crest and trough, enduring longer and reporting in older age a compensation for the obstacles of youth.
As others have noted, the world around us changes no less than we ourselves. When most are married and immersed in family responsibilities, those who remain outside of the pale become both exotic and marginalized. How does this affect their dating-prospects? It depends. Some thrive, some shrivel. But for the OP, who reports doing well at 31, I see no particular reason to dread tragedy at 41 or 51.
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Originally Posted by Chowhound
I'm 46 and I just couldn't imagine being with a woman much younger than 40, ...
... I need a woman that is on par with me in all ways, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally, and has similar life experiences, I don't want to make a Seinfeld reference as I tend to do and get a blank stare......
Often I wonder about these comparisons of age and shared-experience within a cohort. There's frequent mention of musical-acts, television shows, slang and jargon, tastes and preferences, that people similar in age would share. But would they?
I find myself in attitude and in world-view to have most kinship with people in their 80s, despite myself being just over half of that age. Though still working, I think more like a retiree, and am far more concerned with issues of legacy (financial and otherwise) than with daily life, or with personal achievements yet to come. As for culture, music, literature or the arts, there's very little that interests me that's appeared after 1930 or so.
But at the same time, I'm laughably immature, perhaps even outright juvenile. I giggle like a schoolboy, slapping my knee and literally falling out of my seat (very embarrassing in office-meetings, were such things to actually trouble me), and feel tremendous urge to climb the monkey-bars and go down the slides when passing by a city park. When sitting in my office, or in a meeting, I yearn to pick up a pen and to place it in my mouth, to suck on it like a toddler. And when I see 20-somethings in a bar, I'm awed with how mature and adult they seem, with their poise and gestures and bearing, big people doing big-people stuff, a stage that yet awaits me 7 or 10 years in the future.
Most people of my own age-cohort are principally concerned with rearing children. In some cases, the kids are already in college (or of college-age). Others are younger. But almost invariably, it's about children, mortgages, saving for retirement, or maybe tending to elderly parents. Only with the very old, who have long outlived their peers and close-relations and the connections to quotidian life, who pine for distant past or ponder abstract future, do I find kinship. But are they dating-prospects?
A much younger woman may or may not be "appropriate". But the discriminator would not be television-shows or rock-bands.
So, whats your point? The question of this thread, reads "Does Dating get Harder for Women as they age?". My answer, is - Yes, it does get harder, because men are most attracted to younger women and because of it, women at young age have many options to choose from. As they age, options decrease. Every objective study, survey and logical opinion proves my stance to be correct. But this thread is full of aged women and beta orbiters, who somehow have turned this conversation into "i wont tell you the truth, because Id rather not make your life harder or make you upset, so lets talk about what aged, less attractive women have to also offer - instead of answering the actual question". Truth is, men find young women more attractive. It isn't my truth, it is a universal truth and there is only one. You can lie to yourself and pretend that isn't the case, but that is simply a waste of time.
And if women do so much better in their careers than men, perhaps we should stop lowering standards to achieve equality of outcomes and stop whining about some 77 cents to a dollar fantasy. You cant have it both ways.
You are unteachable.
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So, whats your point? The question of this thread, reads "Does Dating get Harder for Women as they age?". My answer, is - Yes, it does get harder, because men are most attracted to younger women and because of it, women at young age have many options to choose from. As they age, options decrease. Every objective study, survey and logical opinion proves my stance to be correct. But this thread is full of aged women and beta orbiters, who somehow have turned this conversation into "i wont tell you the truth, because Id rather not make your life harder or make you upset, so lets talk about what aged, less attractive women have to also offer - instead of answering the actual question". Truth is, men find young women more attractive. It isn't my truth, it is a universal truth and there is only one. You can lie to yourself and pretend that isn't the case, but that is simply a waste of time.
And if women do so much better in their careers than men, perhaps we should stop lowering standards to achieve equality of outcomes and stop whining about some 77 cents to a dollar fantasy. You cant have it both ways.
"Aged women and beta orbiters"? Can you put away the playbook and just discuss something, or do you lose your Manosphere red pill cred for that?
Anyway, what is the implication of the truth you're sharing here? I agree that most straight men like to look at young, fit women. Most straight women like to look at young, fit men. Look at. Relationships are about more than that. Or are they?
You really seem irritated by the mere notion that women have choices. and intent on creating the impression that those choices disappear at some point, almost as karmic punishment for enjoying the options available when they were most available. I'm thinking that you'd tell young men to stay unattached and enjoy their freedom while in their sexual prime, meantime discovering who they might be best able to form a long term bond with. Who exactly are these men going to **** in order to enjoy and learn, if not those young women? And if the consequence of all that is that women with a life aren't fit to marry or bond with past a certain age, then men lose options every bit as much as women do.
dating gets harder for both men and women as they age but I think it's worse for men... women may not have the ridiculous number of choices that they had when in their 20s/early 30s but they will still have some. But there is some truth to men looking for younger women... for instance i'm 41 and my current GF is 32. If I were to date again i'm looking for age range 27-35 max. nothing more than that.
Holy crap, I was thinking the same thing the other day , what with the graphs, "objective" data, and talk of market values.
Maybe that's what made me think about him the other day too. This one seems more obnoxious though. Or maybe I've just matured, given I'm one of the "aged women" on this forum who has the gall to even think there's still hope of me meeting someone some day.
ultimately I am not sure why it matters, find a woman who likes you and who your compatible with and be done with the game. I have some facebook "friends" who are 40's females who do look good and all they do is post selfies looking for attention even though they are married.
Personally I get in and out of dating market as fast as possible when I find myself single. To few options to make it fun at all and too little time to play women's games. But ascension is right, its the beta orbiters that make women like this. If guys just dialed in their league found a woman they were compatible with and got out of the market there would be no one to stroke these womens egos who are 7s and 8s.
If men made women pay to play the game would change, ie no free drinks, no "girls get in free", no fun at the expense of men unless she is romantically interested. None of this lets all go hang out in mixed company and laugh and dance while the women exploit the orbiters there. Trust me a guy that's not getting laid that night is not having fun, they are playing the roll of the chump hoping that these woman laughing and carrying on will notice them. If men forced woment to put all their cards on the table or other wise ignored them and did their own thing the game would be different.
You want to have fun and have drinks and carry on, first question are you romantically interested, after date 3 if we are not sleeping together then it was a lie.
There are simply too many men these days where doing things "organically" is not working, if guys want to start winning they just need to ask straight up are you interested, no, ok and move on. No helping her move or whatever.
Last edited by pittsflyer; 12-09-2015 at 12:48 PM..
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