Husband doesn't want to give my son rides to school or home from work. Why? (men, love)
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I assume you came here for advise. So here's mine:
When you see your husband tonight, give him a big kiss and tell him how much you appreciate how hard he is working to help you with your children. Tell him how sorry you are to sabotage his efforts to make your son into a man. Promise that you will be supportive of his efforts going forward.
Then, tell you son not to wait and to go ahead and move in with the girlfriend's parents right now.
I assume you came here for advise. So here's mine:
When you see your husband tonight, give him a big kiss and tell him how much you appreciate how hard he is working to help you with your children. Tell him how sorry you are to sabotage his efforts to make your son into a man. Promise that you will be supportive of his efforts going forward.
Then, tell you son not to wait and to go ahead and move in with the girlfriend's parents right now.
OP, I don't know why you're asking us why your husband won't drive your son to work. He's told you why. What do you expect from us? You know why he won't drive your son to work. Why this constant rehashing of your situation, and asking questions you know the answers to?
If you want him to be a functional adult with a real job, you need to be discussing with him things like, how are you going to do graphic design freelance with no experience and no portfolio. You need to make sure if he's going to sponge off of people he needs to at least know how to do chores and charm them. Or you need to figure out what he's going to have to do to get out of the doghouse, make an agreement with the husband on that front, and stick to it. Making excuses isn't going to help, but what amounts to an open ended grounding is not going to teach him the life skills he clearly lacks either, and what he really needs is someone to sit him down and work with him on a plan for success. Parenting adolescents is hard and requires some creative thinking. Welcome to life. If you think your husband is too hard on him, what's your plan, just give him what he wants and hope for the best?
Because my sister, their mom, died a few years ago .
THAT'S what you picked out to respond to? What about the tons of advice where people are siding with your husband and telling you to stop enabling your son to be a hopeless deadbeat? Did you just totally gloss over that?
My husband seems to be on some sort of power trip these days. My 19 year old son (from my first marriage) is currently going to school and working a part time job. My current husband doesn't seem to want to help him out. My niece, is letting him use her car since she's away at college and normally he has transportation to and from school and work. When she comes homes for breaks she takes her car back and we have to get him to and from school and work. My husband seems to like to hold grudges.
OP, you posted about this last week. About your opinion that your husband is being too hard on your deadbeat son, and how the poor boy shouldn't be expected to take the bus (like millions of commuters do in major cities around the US). You keep making excuses for your son, while your husband is the only one who expects him to be a responsible adult. The answers you get on this thread won't be much different from those on your last one.
You're the one who already has a son in prison, right? Another kid you made excuses for, and expected pretty much nothing of? This type of slack parenting should be considered to be some kind of human rights violation. You're depriving your kids of opportunities to learn CRUCIAL life skills and to build the character and sense of responsibility they need to become independent adults and productive citizens.
You should be grateful you married a guy like your hubs, who wants to do right by your kids, something you're not willing to do. You should be backing him up, not undermining him.
Bingo. This kid is talking about setting up his own business, and he is going to become a father (because he felt they were ready for it ), but he cant get himself to and from work?? What, he's not ready for THAT yet?
Seriously? And *YOU* don't want him to take the bus?? What, is he too good to take the bus? The bus in 'beneath' him? The bus is too scary for him? He wants to be a grown a$$ man with a kid and a business, right?? How 'scary' is that at 19?? He needs to man up. He wants to be the big adult, he can start acting like it. Please! And If you don't like him taking the bus, then YOU take him to school/work and pick him up. Gimme a break about it being "scary" cause you are a woman. Pfft. You both need to grow up.
And if you couldn't tell, I agree 100% with your husband.
THAT'S what you picked out to respond to? What about the tons of advice where people are siding with your husband and telling you to stop enabling your son to be a hopeless deadbeat? Did you just totally gloss over that?
Yes...she did gloss over that. Because she doesn't want to hear good advice if it doesn't agree with HER.
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), but he cant get himself to and from work?? What, he's not ready for THAT yet?
