Help me process this... (kid, sex, college, narcissistic)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Yeah yeah that is not the problem. He started hinting to learn about me first. I am trying to process the part that I am too independent.
What kind of guy matches women that are too independent?
Ummm the kind that are attracted to you... Dating isn't rocket science. If one puts too much thought on the front end, they end up posting anonymously on Internet boards.
I came up with a saying, some say harsh, but it's for comedic effect and irony so don't take offense:
Men are stupid and women are crazy. Women are crazy because they don't understand how stupid we are, and men are stupid because they don't understand how crazy women are.
I actually used to have this problem of workers hitting on me...a lot! I have witnesses. I finally realized I was giving off the wrong vibe. I wasn't being flirtatious, but I was being too familiar and casual (i.e. offering them a beer). Many (not all) of these guys would be totally willing to get a little "extra" on a job while alone in a house with a young woman. Maybe it does happen...maybe they watch too much porn. This was in my early 20s. I have learned how to be friendly but not *too* friendly since realizing it was me inviting that behavior.
As for the original question...I think if you are looking for a type you are barking up the wrong tree. You need to be looking for qualities in a man that you can see growing old with. Similar values, a good work ethic, similar desires for future plans like family, etc. Sexual attraction factors in, but I don't even think its on the top 5 of important things to look for in a mate.
The kind who is content with seeing someone only once or twice a week.
BTW, you spoke to this guy for what, an hour, max? Why are you analyzing this? He doesn't know you. You really don't know him.
Are you seeing a mental health professional? Because I really think you need one. If you already have one, and it has been more than 6 months, I suggest you get a new one.
The guy was at my house about 3 hours. At this point I will analyze everything some one says in order to find the right guy.
I get I am like one of the guys. Always have been a Tom boy. If a guy wants a girly girl... I am not for them.
I always thought I needed a reformed bad boy, but everyone here said that was wrong. The divorced farm boy, single dad is equally independent. So at a loss.
But the more this crap happens, I am thinking it might just not be in my cards to be happily married.
Plan B for my life is that when the kids move out, I am moving to the Carribbean or another warm location.
I actually used to have this problem of workers hitting on me...a lot! I have witnesses. I finally realized I was giving off the wrong vibe. I wasn't being flirtatious, but I was being too familiar and casual (i.e. offering them a beer). Many (not all) of these guys would be totally willing to get a little "extra" on a job while alone in a house with a young woman. Maybe it does happen...maybe they watch too much porn. This was in my early 20s. I have learned how to be friendly but not *too* friendly since realizing it was me inviting that behavior.
As for the original question...I think if you are looking for a type you are barking up the wrong tree. You need to be looking for qualities in a man that you can see growing old with. Similar values, a good work ethic, similar desires for future plans like family, etc. Sexual attraction factors in, but I don't even think its on the top 5 of important things to look for in a mate.
You make a really good point about being too familiar and too casual with people. There is no reason to find out this man's life story or sit together knocking back beers like old buddies. He's a professional, there to offer a quote to earn business, not make friends.
The last time I had someone to my house was for a quote on a new roof. The only thing I found out that was personal in nature was when the guy told me how long he'd worked for the company and that the owner was his stepfather. I think he did that as reassurance that he wasn't some fly-by-night employee with nothing at stake.
Ummm the kind that are attracted to you... Dating isn't rocket science. If one puts too much thought on the front end, they end up posting anonymously on Internet boards.
I came up with a saying, some say harsh, but it's for comedic effect and irony so don't take offense:
Men are stupid and women are crazy. Women are crazy because they don't understand how stupid we are, and men are stupid because they don't understand how crazy women are.
I actually used to have this problem of workers hitting on me...a lot! I have witnesses. I finally realized I was giving off the wrong vibe. I wasn't being flirtatious, but I was being too familiar and casual (i.e. offering them a beer). Many (not all) of these guys would be totally willing to get a little "extra" on a job while alone in a house with a young woman. Maybe it does happen...maybe they watch too much porn. This was in my early 20s. I have learned how to be friendly but not *too* friendly since realizing it was me inviting that behavior.
As for the original question...I think if you are looking for a type you are barking up the wrong tree. You need to be looking for qualities in a man that you can see growing old with. Similar values, a good work ethic, similar desires for future plans like family, etc. Sexual attraction factors in, but I don't even think its on the top 5 of important things to look for in a mate.
I am very laid back and casual. I also have a very familiar personality. People are comfortable around me. Too comfortable which is why I attract the crazy situations. That all makes sense.
I am looking for the man that I can grow old with, but also good with the family life now.
You make a really good point about being too familiar and too casual with people. There is no reason to find out this man's life story or sit together knocking back beers like old buddies. He's a professional, there to offer a quote to earn business, not make friends.
The last time I had someone to my house was for a quote on a new roof. The only thing I found out that was personal in nature was when the guy told me how long he'd worked for the company and that the owner was his stepfather. I think he did that as reassurance that he wasn't some fly-by-night employee with nothing at stake.
I acquire "friends" like crazy. I don't even have time for the ones that I have.
Well I always ask if I can offer a guest a drink. He just happened to say I will take what you are having. Are you not polite?
Oh, dear. I know you were trying to be polite and/or a good hostess... but that is the opening scene for any one of a dozen or so porn films. The repair man/cable guy/delivery man is offered a cold beer by the lonely divorcee... bow chicka wow wow
I've resigned that I'll be single till I'm told I'm not. Kind of like a cat picks it's human cohabitator..... Women do the same with men. Not boys, not guys, but men. We know when we are 'owned'. All the other stuff works itself out.
It doesn't work in reverse. Watch Marco Polo on Netflix. Kublai has his consorts but he's still owned by lady chappy. That's men and women in a nutshell. Let us do our 1 or 2 things... Some it's sports, others cars, hunting, fishing, Internet porn, whatever. If we get that and can't compromise on the other, then it's not meant to be.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
