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I'm sorry dear one but the problem lies with you and your inability to trust. You are punishing her with your insecurities. No one has the right to dictate to another person who their friends are.
You two either live happily ever after or you don't. Unbreakable bonds survive because they are meant to be. They are not broken by old flames or flirtations. You need to find a way to put your insecurities to rest. There may come a time when she comes to you and says that this relationship is not what she wants, and it just may be because of you. Then what? You can't control that anymore then you can control if she finds someone else that suits her better.
Take a chill pill and trust her. You may be pleasantly surprised.
I do think social media makes quite apparent and public what used to be private behavior. I mean private by the way, and not sneaky or sinister. Everyone has a right to their memories and their fantasies, but as is happening in this case those memories and possible fantasies are sometimes on display via social media, at least IF he chooses to peruse her page. If he doesn't, then most of what I said is out of sight, out of mind.
So OP, either you trust her or you don't. Trust is a verb and it takes the form of actions. In this case, unfriend your GF on Facebook or do whatever you have to do technically to not see things from her page, and stay away from her page. You see her in person, so anything you might have shared on FB is probably better shared in person.
I just don't want my girlfriend to be fantasizing about some guy she met in Italy.
Yes, it all happened before we met but the lines of communication are still open and she does seem to be interested in this guy, whether because he posts cool pictures of his trips or whatever it is she likes about him, she is constantly seeing about this guy.
How do you know she's fantasizing about the guy and not fantasizing about going to Italy or feeling nostalgic about the trip she took?
How do you know she's fantasizing about the guy and not fantasizing about going to Italy or feeling nostalgic about the trip she took?
Yeah, I was thinking that has to be a part of it too.
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How do you know she's fantasizing about the guy and not fantasizing about going to Italy or feeling nostalgic about the trip she took?
I haven't kept up with this thread, but it would be pretty easy is descern a fantasy from a reality with a little observation over time.
If she is choosing to involve someone in everyday general conversation it's going to be less about the place they happen to reside in and more about the person itself.
Nostalgia generally doesn't cloud your everyday and waking moment, it comes in waves and washes away until the next wake.
Listen OP, it's your relationship, and if you're not happy about something.... you let her know. Be honest and upfront about your insecurities. Set boundaries in what is acceptable and not acceptable in a relationship you envision.
Talk it out. Communication is key if you want solve this.
Listen OP, it's your relationship, and if you're not happy about something.... you let her know. Be honest and upfront about your insecurities. Set boundaries in what is acceptable and not acceptable in a relationship you envision.
Talk it out. Communication is key if you want solve this.
That's the problem. Most of the posts in this section boil down to a lack of communication. They run to the Internet to ask perfect strangers, instead of talking to their partner. It's as if they're recruiting people who agree so they can revel in their righteous indignation over the issue, but never actually talk to their partner about their concerns.
That being said, you can't fix jealousy and possessiveness by getting rid of FB friends either.
Junior version of my EX! Better you go and get some therapy. Even if she cut off that friend she will get updated from other men like your father brother uncles neighbor guys bosses co workers and then what delete every one from facebook and keep just you?
Ok I've decided asking her to get rid of him comes across as jealous and insecure, she hasn't betrayed my trust so I'm not going to act as if she has, however, as someone suggested I will very openly and casually ask her, next time she brings him up, if she has thoughts of meeting him again. I love this woman and I don't wanna have to worry about this italian dude.
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Better you go and get some therapy. Even if she cut off that friend she will get updated from other men like your father brother uncles neighbor guys bosses co workers and then what delete every one from facebook and keep just you?
