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So you had to hide in the closet from her boyfriend? Her 10 or 11 year old knows that much about her love life as to whether or not she's "doing anything" with someone else? She has serious trust issues. You actually believe she's being faithful. And you find this relationship healthy??
Even if she has nothing going on with this guy (she does), she was considering him as a romantic partner while dating you (during the period she told you not to contact her.)
You've had enough red flags waving in your face, if you still date her anything that happens is really on you.
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UPDATE
I had lunch with her today after church. During lunch, she told me that her friend is someone who is staying at her place, because he needed a place to stay for awhile. She told me that he works during the night at a place that makes cereal, so I think he works at a food plant. He used to do meat packing at this job, but now he makes cereal at this production plant. She told me that he sleeps during the day after he finishes the night shift. I told her that I missed her during the past few days, and she said that she missed me too. My girlfriend told me that she is not seeing him, and she doesn't like him like that. She told me that this guy lies a lot, so she doesn't like him like that. She told me that she looked at his phone in the past and he sent text messages to multiple women, inviting them to a motel. He was mad at her for looking at his phone, so he doesn't like her either. She says that he is nasty, and she wouldn't want to be with him. But she said that I am honest, so I think she trusts me, although she checks my text messages on my phone sometimes to see who contacts me. She even checked me phone today during our lunch date. But I am faithful to her, and she is the only woman whom I am currently dating.
I also asked my girlfriend how her children are doing. I helped one of her sons with his math homework once, and I told her that they need to get their homework done. She told me that her kids like her friend, because he plays video games with them a lot, and he has a new car that they like. She told me that this guy will find a place soon. I asked about her daughter, and she showed me the messages from the foster parents on her phone. The foster parents asked her through text for past history of any abuse toward her daughter, so it sounds like they are reaching out to my girlfriend. But to be honest, I am very concerned about this guy staying over at her place.
Like I said before, while not always 100% the case, past experiences has shown me that hanging with friends usually means hanging with another guy, so dont bother me. Drop her fast.
Go MI6... (rent a car) follow her and see what she is really up to (don't get caught) that is rule number 1 the only important rule. Wear a hat and glasses (if in the day sunglasses)...Helps to protect yourself from someone actually looking for you. If its the whole weekend she has plans to be with a GUY the WHOLE weekend its not going to be a Friends this day, family that day.. So when says the whole weekend they might even be going away or to a hotel and they plan on being with someone for long periods of time not just out at night. So find out just basic info let one is the last message you want to get from me? This will give you a timeline. Usually someone will say a hour before they are leaving.
If she is with a dude you have your answer, hotel, bar, or his place its over.
If you see her with a guy I dont care if they just on casual date, you know she is testing the waters.
Do yourself a favor at that point, get some friends and go out and have a good time looking for a new girl friend or a hookup.
Dont call her, dont text her make her think she is in the clear. if you have any **** that is yours that you MUST have back, ask if you can have it because you need for some excuse. Get it an leave pretending you know nothing.
If its close to any holiday dump her, if close to her birthday dump her as soon as you get home from getting your **** from her place.
Go MI6... (rent a car) follow her and see what she is really up to (don't get caught) that is rule number 1 the only important rule. Wear a hat and glasses (if in the day sunglasses)...Helps to protect yourself from someone actually looking for you. If its the whole weekend she has plans to be with a GUY the WHOLE weekend its not going to be a Friends this day, family that day.. So when says the whole weekend they might even be going away or to a hotel and they plan on being with someone for long periods of time not just out at night. So find out just basic info let one is the last message you want to get from me? This will give you a timeline. Usually someone will say a hour before they are leaving.
If she is with a dude you have your answer, hotel, bar, or his place its over.
If you see her with a guy I dont care if they just on casual date, you know she is testing the waters.
Do yourself a favor at that point, get some friends and go out and have a good time looking for a new girl friend or a hookup.
Dont call her, dont text her make her think she is in the clear. if you have any **** that is yours that you MUST have back, ask if you can have it because you need for some excuse. Get it an leave pretending you know nothing.
If its close to any holiday dump her, if close to her birthday dump her as soon as you get home from getting your **** from her place.
FYI: The Ex usually wins. She is not even close to being done with him (he still has her heart) and he is not going anywhere, any time soon.
Even if he is not physically present, and you and this woman form some semblance of a relationship, he will be a thorn in your side, intruding in some way or another -- with her consent. Then, one day, she will heal and be over him.. and you... since you were/are a part of the past she is trying to put behind her.
Therefore, at this point, if you like her that much, just keep it friendly and look for romance elsewhere. A few years from now, after you have both put distance between this present state of things, and you have truly gotten to know each other as friends, you could very well have the relationship you envision. But if you try and force it now, it will only end in tears.
Quote:
Originally Posted by anonymous51
I went to her place last night to visit my girlfriend. She invited me to come to her place at 11pm. She wanted me to come over after she finished work. But she was still trying to kick the guy out and take the key from him, so she had not yet left for work when I arrived. She had changed her mind about inviting me when I was driving, but once I texted her to inform her that I am at her place, she told me to come in. She was talking to me in her living room for awhile about the situation, but when she heard this guy come through her door, she panicked and pushed me off the sofa and sent me to her bedroom, telling me to go to her room. She actually fell off her new sofa when trying to send me into her room. She told me to stay there and not go anywhere. I was scared and totally confused.
One of her sons also stayed with me in her room as we waited for the guy to leave. We kept the lights off in her room and we stayed in the closet where the lights were also off. Her son tried to explain to me about this guy who stayed over at their place. Her son told me that this guy was an ex-boyfriend of her from 2 years ago, and the guy is just staying over for five days. Her son told me to not worry, because they didn't do anything. Her son explained to me that the reason why she didn't want me there last week was because it would be too awkward. The guy argued with my girlfriend for awhile, but she took the key from him, and he eventually left. After we saw the guy drive away, we went to the family room and saw my girlfriend. Her left foot was swollen when she fell of the sofa. Her foot was in pain, and she wanted me to go with her to work to help her. I went with her to her cleaning job shortly afterwards to help her empty the trash at one of the job locations. After she drove for awhile, she pulled over to stop her car, and she wanted me to drive. She wanted me to drive her to her job because her left foot was in so much pain, and I drove her home. She told me on the way to her place that the guy showed up at her door one day and when he was talking to her, he asked if he can stay there. She agreed to him staying there for a few days, but she now regrets her decision. She also mentioned that this guy was someone she dated and they met on Zoosk. She said that they dated 1 1/2 years ago. Her son told me that it was 2 years ago that they dated. It was probably between 1 1/2 years ago and 2 years ago that they dated, which was probably around 2014. She told me that the guy moved out, and she has the key. But she told me that this guy still has some things in the garage, so I suspect that he will eventually come back. She told me that he later went on POF and chatted with women, although I think that was after they broke up. I spent the night at her place, and I told her that I love her. She was very thankful that I stayed with her last night, and she complimented me by saying that I am honest and a good person. But her foot is still swollen, and I hope she will get well soon. I worry about her. I will see how things turn out with her, and hopefully she will remain faithful to me as I am faithful to her.
Sorry for the long message. I just wanted to keep everyone updated on my situation. Thank you for your advice. I am very grateful for all the advice I receive on City-Data Forum.
Yes I am now but first thought was .... " why the hell should someone go to the British secret service for?? "
Maybe I will have to read the thread
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