Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I definitely wouldn't. 'Former' should be considered.
A close friend reconnected with a guy she knew in high school who she thought the world of but he saw her as a pump and dump. He stopped talking to her after she slept with him.
Fast forward 25 years and they reconnect via Facebook. She still thinks he's gorgeous, and has convinced herself that he was her 'first love' (that's not love in my book, but I digress) and needs to take up where they left off.
The relationship was disastrous. He was abusive, stalkerish, and playing with her mentally. She could barely end the relationship because it wasn't on his terms.
I only had one boyfriend before I met my now ex husband. If that first boyfriend were to try to reach out to me now, I would sooooo decline. Because I remember exactly why I ended that relationship, with no turning back. Even though it's been nearly 30 years. Do people really forget why a relationship didn't survive the test of time? Or do they just gloss over the crappy parts, hoping people change over time?
I say why not. You said you had a LDR, and in many cases those just end up burning out because there's no point in the future where you can see yourself in the same location with the person. If there is nothing negative that happened to end the relationship, what can it hurt to say hi? All he can do is not respond.
While you are remembering all the fun you had, also make it a point to remember all the fun you did not have and the reason you parted ways.
I'm curious though how much fun you could actually have being it was a long distance relationship.
While that's generally good advice, when you're talking a H.S. romance, you can part ways over just heading out to college or because of a misinterpreted glance or comment.
But OP, as long as you expect NOTHING, or you can deal with a possible ONS ...go ahead. Just remember that THIRTY years have passed and there may not be much left between you other than memories.
I haven't ruled out reaching out to say HI. We broke up partially because of the distance, and partially because family and friends were pressuring us into making it "work". Chose a city, the other move and get married, it was at a time in both of our lives we wanted to be together - but neither were ready for that "permanent" commitment. I think if we'd been in the same city, it would have worked, but his family really pressured him to stay there, while mine was a little more open to a move, they still wanted me in my home town. The funny thing is 13 years ago I said goodbye to the old home town and haven't looked back. thanks for the advice, let's see what I do?!?!?
I wouldn't contact him if either of you are married or involved in a relationship, however.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CapsChick
If you are both single, what have you got to lose?
Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63
But OP, as long as you expect NOTHING, or you can deal with a possible ONS ...go ahead. Just remember that THIRTY years have passed and there may not be much left between you other than memories.
I agree with the above. My friend and I were talking about this last night. He was asking me if I'd ever had this happen because an ex of his from college reached out to him (after about 25 years) and because she's married, he found it "suspicious" and wasn't sure he wants to respond.
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve
I remember all my ex bfs phone numbers and bdays and of my high school female friends also. That was before cell phones and computers replaced my memory and it will be stuck in my mind forever ... I just don't contact the people anymore.
I had a grade school class of 23. I can remember pretty much everyone's birthday. For the most part, my contact with them is wishing them a happy birthday on FB if we're friends, or in my head if we're not.
I don't see why not.... especially if it ended on good terms.
Just make sure you keep your expectations very low and in check. People go through a lot of change over the term of 30 years.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.