My husband is a moron (wives, married, women, love)
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There are many, many petty little things he does and says which over the years I have learned to ignore because I live by the motto of "will this matter in five minutes?" and the answer is usually no. His ideas are outlandish and nonsensible and nothing is ever produced from them - for the most part it's amusing.
So I'm in the middle of completely cleaning and repainting our kitchen. I've done all the work, bought all the paint, moved the entire counter and appliances by myself. No big deal, this is sort of my project because he works longer hours than I do. In fact, it's better - every time he wants to "help" it becomes more work - such as the suggestion of taking all the cabinets off the walls and dismantling all the plumbing instead of just painting around them. I managed to distract him from the idea and have done a fine job of just carefully painting around them.
Today we returned to the hardware store because I needed just one more quart of white paint. I also decided to buy a small tapered brush to help me with corners and edges. We're at the checkout and he offers to buy this paint, and I said great, grabbed the brush and started walking out of the store as he was finishing the transaction. When we got home a while later I readied everything to start painting again. "Where's the paint?" I asked - it wasn't inside and I checked in the car. Immediately he starts shouting "eff that, eff this" and blames me for forgetting the paint, this is my project, etc etc. Eh? He was standing right there at the cash register, paid for the paint, and left it sitting there. Again. This is not the first time he's "forgotten" something he just purchased at the store. I told him the right thing to do is to return to the store immediately and get the paint - the cashier would likely recognize him and remember that it was left sitting on the counter. But no, this is my project, it's my fault, he's not going back.
I just surrendered, went to the bedroom, and started reading. I hear him out in the kitchen cursing and banging things. I finally fell asleep. Now, several hours later I get up and what do I find in the kitchen: he has sloppily plastered one of my freshly painted white cabinets with black paint. I just looked at it and sighed. Of course you can always fix paint, but this is just a fine mess and I've really had it. And you know what's going to happen? It's going to sit there, and sit and sit and sit. In a couple of days I'll ask him when he's planning to clean up the mess he made, and the answer is always "tomorrow". A week from now I'll probably give up, buy some primer base, and once again fix his mistake.
Another incident a couple of years ago involved him losing my expensive bag (which I considered a "gift" because he used it all the time) carrying all of our expensive bicycle lights because he left it on the back of a chair in the restaurant and walked out with it. In the 3 minute span of time between leaving and realizing we didn't have the bag or our lights, someone happily claimed the bag as their own. Of course that was my fault as well because it was my bag, and we had to ride our bikes home in the dark - which also resulted in me being pulled over by police the next evening because I didn't have bike lights (didn't have time to stop at the bike shop that day).
He does so many other retarded things and I just accept them, and you wonder why wives always look older than their husbands.
My WASband is a moron as well. Did the same exact type of things. I am sorry you are dealing with these things... and I know all to well about the eff this and eff that, and bam bam bam....
I am sorry I cannot give advise. I can just tell you that I know where you are going from. I have been there along with some very hard things that went on over the years, and the kids and I live happily separate from him now.
If you have one room in the house or a corner in the garage that you can give him to claim as his own, let him do whatever he wants to those "man spaces".
Tell him the rest of the house is yours to remodel as you wish and his space is his to do with as he pleases. Including going and getting the supplies by himself.
I am a male, but I can't defend your husbands actions. Sounds like he might have a control problem or lack of ego and is taking it out on you.
He might need some counseling.
You said "over the years". Is he at the age where it might be a problem like alsheimers or dementia?
I hope not.
If you have one room in the house or a corner in the garage that you can give him to claim as his own, let him do whatever he wants to those "man spaces".
Tell him the rest of the house is yours to remodel as you wish and his space is his to do with as he pleases. Including going and getting the supplies by himself.
I am a male, but I can't defend your husbands actions. Sounds like he might have a control problem or lack of ego and is taking it out on you.
He might need some counseling.
You said "over the years". Is he at the age where it might be a problem like alsheimers or dementia?
I hope not.
I'm a guy, and I sometimes forget things. But I won't get angry at someone else if they point it out. I think you have no choice but to deal with it. Smart women are like a river, they just flow around obstacles rather than trying to confront them head on. Basically, act like you are living with an angry moose, and you cannot really control what it destroys or misplaces, you can only deal with the fact that you married a dumb moose.
One more reason women should (and never will) marry the intellectual nice guys. I would think you'd want to be saddled with a sharp, courteous, non-chauvanistic specimen among the male species. So, deal with the dumb vindictive slob you married, and complain about it.
I have seen this type of person before .. and usually what I have seen is they blame everyone else for their shortcomings... I do not envy you in this situation.. Sorry to see that you are going through this.
"and you wonder why wives always look older than their husbands" Ha Ha! Good One!
My ex loved to cut things and basically destroy All my hard work.........still havent got over the time he butchered my 10 year old blueberry plants.
And the time he "lost" my Lagostina cookware( Wa! Ya take "it" for a walk and forgot it at the park?!)..........although the kitchen did smell freshly painted?!
Not a bad guy.........just not the sharpest tool in the shed........in an attempt to diy, one day, up on the roof, didnt secure the ladder.......down it goes...........
i left him up there.........best half hour of my life...........would have been longer but a neighbour helped him down(tee hee). Yup I feel evil but You guys wont last a week with him,LOL......
Yea, i know, i married him?! Thee last time I fall for a nice bod and chocolate brown eyes!!
I'm a guy, and I sometimes forget things. But I won't get angry at someone else if they point it out. I think you have no choice but to deal with it. Smart women are like a river, they just flow around obstacles rather than trying to confront them head on. Basically, act like you are living with an angry moose, and you cannot really control what it destroys or misplaces, you can only deal with the fact that you married a dumb moose.
One more reason women should (and never will) marry the intellectual nice guys. I would think you'd want to be saddled with a sharp, courteous, non-chauvanistic specimen among the male species. So, deal with the dumb vindictive slob you married, and complain about it.
You know what? We don't always KNOW they are this way..... seems to come out more and more over the years. At first, it may just be a tiny little quirk that you can deal with.
Then it becomes full blown... something one can hardly handle, when on the other side of it.
I know from exp. I also know that never again!
That sharp, courteous, non-chauvanistic specimen among the male species....
That is the one. LOL.... it is the one we all want. Is tehre such a thing out there? Yea, I know there is. I KNOW. Sure do.
"and you wonder why wives always look older than their husbands" Ha Ha! Good One!
My ex loved to cut things and basically destroy All my hard work.........still havent got over the time he butchered my 10 year old blueberry plants.
And the time he "lost" my Lagostina cookware( Wa! Ya take "it" for a walk and forgot it at the park?!)..........although the kitchen did smell freshly painted?!
Not a bad guy.........just not the sharpest tool in the shed........in an attempt to diy, one day, up on the roof, didnt secure the ladder.......down it goes...........
i left him up there.........best half hour of my life...........would have been longer but a neighbour helped him down(tee hee). Yup I feel evil but You guys wont last a week with him,LOL......
Yea, i know, i married him?! Thee last time I fall for a nice bod and chocolate brown eyes!!
We married the same man! Mine used to break up things that belonged to my parents, who have since passed, all the time. Knowing they were not able to be replaced. Things like that. Just mean things, he would do...
LOL, I doubt it - he's 32. Though I periodically tease him about having Asperger's Syndrome, due to his childlike behavior and lack of reality.
His intents are certainly not malicious, else I would have split long ago. I guess I just have too much patience.
I know I've already used this joke before, but it bears repeating here I think, so here goes....
"Yes, your husband IS an assburger."
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