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Is that your way of inviting me over for Christmas? I'm ready to buy more presents, I see I got an increase on my Macy's card just in time for Christmas.
Isn't it funny how when you're young and poor (especially if you've ever been a single mom) you dream of buying all kinds of presents and having money and credit, then when you work hard and get that, or enough anyway, then you think: "Well that wouldn't be a very good idea at all."
I'm doing the hermitage thing for this week and next - otherwise I'd invite you. I'm all out of spoons, if you know what I mean. I'm hunkering down to just get through the rest of 2022 with no more calamity or bad news. Let's do that Las Vegas thing in 2023, yeah?
I finally indulged myself during Black Friday and got myself a decent handbag from Macy's. I'm very happy with it. I also treated myself to a Shiatsu foot massager. It is a real life saver.
Otherwise, this has been a fairly conservative Christmas. Yes, now that we have the buying power, we have to think just as long about our purchases as we had to work hard to earn it.
It's easy for me because I'm a childless spinster but I've decided to opt out of Christmas. Not that I don't want to see friends and family, but that's the extent of it. People tie themselves in knots trying to do too much this time of year, and you can say "no." You don't have to go into debt buying gifts for people or stress yourself out about the perfect decorations. It may be Grinchy, but it's an option.
Also, my kitchen faucet decided to go kaput this afternoon, so I turned the water off under the sink and have a plumber coming tomorrow. Merry Christmas to me.
Hey first of all, big belated congrats to Sydney123 on the baby news!!
I've been busy as heck over here, father in law fell and hurt himself right before my son was due to fly down here for a visit over the holidays. So plans to do a little road trip with my kid had to be canceled because I have work to do here...while Dad is in the nursing facility for a couple of weeks we are kinda taking over and safety-fying his house for him and hiring someone to be there during the hours that we are not there with him. He can't be alone at all anymore.
Fortunately we have his permission to do whatever needs to be done. But it's still a whole heap of work. We were already planning on moving in this direction and stepping things up within the coming months, it's just that events have overtaken us and it's got to be NOW, now.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL
Is that your way of inviting me over for Christmas? I'm ready to buy more presents, I see I got an increase on my Macy's card just in time for Christmas.
Isn't it funny how when you're young and poor (especially if you've ever been a single mom) you dream of buying all kinds of presents and having money and credit, then when you work hard and get that, or enough anyway, then you think: "Well that wouldn't be a very good idea at all."
Yeah, this whole thing... I remember being young and really poor and like...hungry. Literally hungry. Going to the grocery store and just pining away for everything and desperately shopping with what little I had to spend...hungry. Now I go to the store, I CAN buy whatever I want, and I can't think of what I want to get, in particular. Like the magic is gone. I get food because I need to eat, not because I'm really hungry.
A mindset of scarcity can really change how you see everything. And somehow the more money I have, or will have, the more I'm afraid it will somehow quickly vanish. Like dealing with the escalating elder care, I'm looking at what my husband is about to inherit and suddenly I'm stressed about what necessary expenses have to happen (not that I'm being cheap, I just feel like, really obligated to be practical and careful)... And I don't dare think that there is "plenty" of money because I know that if you just turn on the money tap and let the spending happen, then ~poof~ ...it's all gone before you know it.
And it's got to last. It's meant to provide for my husband's retirement and end of life needs as well.
But it's like...my Mom is really poor, and I'll never forget her asking me for money once after I'd just got a raise and was just catching my breath a bit financially...she said, "I hate to ask, it's just that you have so much, and I have so little." She also said once that she can't remember ever having a credit score higher than the 400s. And it's like...I'm a pretty liberal person, but when I think about all of this, and I also think about the whole, "billionaires are evil" thing (which I ssssort of...kind of agree with...sort of...) but there's also that dash of "you know, I get it" with regard to those who come to conservatism from an economic place. Like people just want to hang onto what we've got, and those of us who fight our way to an "OK I might not die in a ditch" place are scared of other people trying to grab at it. I will never be a billionaire. But my Mom can't beg off of any of them. She CAN beg off of me. As can my son, half a dozen friends who are forever posting gofundme things, and a hundred, a thousand, a million other desperate people and causes all around. If I tried to save everyone I'd end up with nothing. Does that make me greedy or evil though?
Anyways. Abundance vs. scarcity. In all sorts of areas. It's complicated. A lot to think about.
I'm doing the hermitage thing for this week and next - otherwise I'd invite you. I'm all out of spoons, if you know what I mean. I'm hunkering down to just get through the rest of 2022 with no more calamity or bad news. Let's do that Las Vegas thing in 2023, yeah?
I finally indulged myself during Black Friday and got myself a decent handbag from Macy's. I'm very happy with it. I also treated myself to a Shiatsu foot massager. It is a real life saver.
Otherwise, this has been a fairly conservative Christmas. Yes, now that we have the buying power, we have to think just as long about our purchases as we had to work hard to earn it.
Out of spoons as well, so much so that I work from home and still called in sick. I guess that means I can’t go near that desk in the other room.
Of course Las Vegas 2023, I was hoping Aerosmith would still have residency, but no maybe we can find some other fun show.
It's easy for me because I'm a childless spinster but I've decided to opt out of Christmas. Not that I don't want to see friends and family, but that's the extent of it. People tie themselves in knots trying to do too much this time of year, and you can say "no." You don't have to go into debt buying gifts for people or stress yourself out about the perfect decorations. It may be Grinchy, but it's an option.
Also, my kitchen faucet decided to go kaput this afternoon, so I turned the water off under the sink and have a plumber coming tomorrow. Merry Christmas to me.
Yeah I’m really not into it this year either. In fact I just have reservations with the very few people I feel like seeing on Monday, the day after. I did go to a comedy club and saw a show with my dad last week, and that was one of the best presents I’ve had.
Hey first of all, big belated congrats to Sydney123 on the baby news!!
I've been busy as heck over here, father in law fell and hurt himself right before my son was due to fly down here for a visit over the holidays. So plans to do a little road trip with my kid had to be canceled because I have work to do here...while Dad is in the nursing facility for a couple of weeks we are kinda taking over and safety-fying his house for him and hiring someone to be there during the hours that we are not there with him. He can't be alone at all anymore.
Fortunately we have his permission to do whatever needs to be done. But it's still a whole heap of work. We were already planning on moving in this direction and stepping things up within the coming months, it's just that events have overtaken us and it's got to be NOW, now.
Yeah, this whole thing... I remember being young and really poor and like...hungry. Literally hungry. Going to the grocery store and just pining away for everything and desperately shopping with what little I had to spend...hungry. Now I go to the store, I CAN buy whatever I want, and I can't think of what I want to get, in particular. Like the magic is gone. I get food because I need to eat, not because I'm really hungry.
A mindset of scarcity can really change how you see everything. And somehow the more money I have, or will have, the more I'm afraid it will somehow quickly vanish. Like dealing with the escalating elder care, I'm looking at what my husband is about to inherit and suddenly I'm stressed about what necessary expenses have to happen (not that I'm being cheap, I just feel like, really obligated to be practical and careful)... And I don't dare think that there is "plenty" of money because I know that if you just turn on the money tap and let the spending happen, then ~poof~ ...it's all gone before you know it.
And it's got to last. It's meant to provide for my husband's retirement and end of life needs as well.
But it's like...my Mom is really poor, and I'll never forget her asking me for money once after I'd just got a raise and was just catching my breath a bit financially...she said, "I hate to ask, it's just that you have so much, and I have so little." She also said once that she can't remember ever having a credit score higher than the 400s. And it's like...I'm a pretty liberal person, but when I think about all of this, and I also think about the whole, "billionaires are evil" thing (which I ssssort of...kind of agree with...sort of...) but there's also that dash of "you know, I get it" with regard to those who come to conservatism from an economic place. Like people just want to hang onto what we've got, and those of us who fight our way to an "OK I might not die in a ditch" place are scared of other people trying to grab at it. I will never be a billionaire. But my Mom can't beg off of any of them. She CAN beg off of me. As can my son, half a dozen friends who are forever posting gofundme things, and a hundred, a thousand, a million other desperate people and causes all around. If I tried to save everyone I'd end up with nothing. Does that make me greedy or evil though?
Anyways. Abundance vs. scarcity. In all sorts of areas. It's complicated. A lot to think about.
Not Dead in a Ditch (today) either! Lol, you’re right- as soon as you crawl out of the ditch there’s somebody waiting there with a side eye and a “question” for you. I try to give as much away as I can, so I don’t feel bad when I say no, I really can’t right now.
It took me till my late 20s, early 30s to get more financially literate. I, on my own, wasn't super bad with money, had credit debt and wasn't saving like I should have, but that got really exacerbated when I basically had to supplement my mom financially for a few years. This was back in my 20s when I didn't make that great of money. It hurt at the time because my mom wasn't very responsible in many areas, money being one. Too long to get into, but it set me back in some ways.
That was years ago.
Now we've got some savings, I carry a little debt, not much, but it could be paid off right now if I wanted. We try to give money to charities. We try to help out a local homeless organization, an animal charity, and one for veterans/first responders.
We all should pay our fair share of taxes and all. I have no issues with that, we don't have kids, but I fully understand the value of paying for education for our kids.
I also understand that we to have a safety net for those in need in our society.
I just start to sort of get worn out a bit when you hear about certain give aways and more and more social programs. The paying off student debt proposals.
To me this stuff shouldn't be political or whatever, I get we need certain programs and all but at some point, people need to take a certain amount of ownership for the direction of their own stuff.
Trying to find that balance between compassion and personal responsibility can be a bit blurry at times. The old adage of a hand up versus hand out.
We've all needed a hand up in our lives, no doubt about it, but once you are "standing" people should put in the effort to keep standing.
Last edited by Chowhound; 12-21-2022 at 11:52 AM..
Not Dead in a Ditch (today) either! Lol, you’re right- as soon as you crawl out of the ditch there’s somebody waiting there with a side eye and a “question” for you. I try to give as much away as I can, so I don’t feel bad when I say no, I really can’t right now.
Yeah, I remember hearing/reading some conflict over whether lotto winners should be allowed to be anonymous and I could just remember feeling absolute HORROR at the idea of suddenly gaining wealth and having it made public. Like either you have to totally isolate yourself and give up ties, try to keep it secret, or just...toss it all away and accept that you don't get to have it. Because like the feeling is, if you are a "have" then those who "have not" see your wealth as bottomless and limitless. Surely you can afford to give them some? And when they run through that, some more? And more? And my son says that he wants to be rich someday and he dreams of setting up the people he cares about in comfort, and I'm just like, "Sweetheart, that's why you may never actually end up rich." How would one even get anywhere near it, if one's thinking is dominated by compassion and a desire to help others?
Might be why Jesus had a thing or two to say about rich people.
I'm just so uneasy about money and family relationships. But parts of my family have been really badly behaved in such areas before, so I've got baggage there. When my Great Aunt died, my Grandparents were so sure that I had inherited money from her and just weren't telling them, and Grandma was really mad about it, because she felt I was holding out on her. But the fact is, Aunt J left her money to charity. I suspect precisely because she didn't want other members of the family to be resentful and nasty about it.
Anyways.
I'm enjoying taking a break from over the top holiday spending and doing, too. I did put out a few decorations this year since my son was visiting, but nothing complicated. No tree. I was planning to cook, but father in law says it's "too much" and his appetite is not very big anyhow, so we'll go spend time with him at the home...they are having a big Christmas dinner at the restaurant there, so maybe we'll take part in that.
Got a bunch of appointments today to get various things moving with regard to caring for father in law...juggling amidst work and other need-to-do stuff. I feel odd, like, energized to the point of twitchy.
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I'm ready to buy more presents, I see I got an increase on my Macy's card just in time for Christmas. 
but I've decided to opt out of Christmas. Not that I don't want to see friends and family, but that's the extent of it. People tie themselves in knots trying to do too much this time of year, and you can say "no." You don't have to go into debt buying gifts for people or stress yourself out about the perfect decorations. It may be Grinchy, but it's an option.