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I don't see anything positive about this relationship so ideally I would like it to end. This is my opinion though and I can't force her to do anything.
Not your choice..
You can choose to not associate with this person but it is not your place to force your girlfriend to chose the same outcome.
My friends are nicknamed the hot mess express. Rest assured we are all familiar with our flaws and behavior. We don't need anyone pointing it out.
OP, what exactly would this mean girl do to your GF? Would she sleep with you when you break up with your GF? If that seems ridiculous then it is...right? I mean, I don't know what else this girl could do to your GF...getting too drunk (does your GF?), sleeping with exes of exes (does your GF?)...you get my point.
If you don't like the girl, don't be around her. If your GF hangs out with her a LOT, then mention you're not a fan...but what behavior has your GF exhibited that makes you worry that this bad girl will have so much influence...?
Again, to clarify, they are all friends from college. Other girl is closer to my gf than mean girl. I have information that they don't, and I don't want to cause drama but I also don't want this to happen to my gf when I saw clear warning signs. The original question was should I bring this up when my gf asks why I don't like the mean friend, because obviously I don't want my gf to get stabbed in the back like other friend was. And I'm not going to pretend like the mean friend is a saint and I approve of her.
If you "don't want this to happen to your girlfriend," then don't sleep with her friend after you guys break up.
The guy is the one that told me. It's not hearsay, he has no reason to lie to me. This was after the mean girl had a long talk with other friend about the situation. It's this type of shady behavior that I don't want my girlfriend to be a victim of.
Again, to clarify, they are all friends from college. Other girl is closer to my gf than mean girl. I have information that they don't, and I don't want to cause drama but I also don't want this to happen to my gf when I saw clear warning signs. The original question was should I bring this up when my gf asks why I don't like the mean friend, because obviously I don't want my gf to get stabbed in the back like other friend was. And I'm not going to pretend like the mean friend is a saint and I approve of her.
So if the ex told you, how is it the girl was hurt? He told you...not the girl. Right? Which of you is the one "leaking" all this information and stirring up drama? Because it definitely isn't your GF. You said she doesn't even know.
Meanwhile, the ex told you...and he was okay with it...but you're not? And he AND Mean Girl slept together but you keep his confidence, while thinking Mean Girl is the devil?
None of this adds up, really. Something else is going on here and you're the one (I'm really sorry) hiding things, making sideways comments about being in the know, trying to break up friends, judging certain people but not others and saying you want to do it without being "culpable."
I don't feel you're really being fully honest here so I don't see how anyone can help you. You obviously want your GF to "know" (a lot of hearsay and gossip) without you being involved. None of us can probably help you with that either. You'll need to figure out how to slip that one on by while keeping your own hands clean, since simply being honest with your GF doesn't seem to be an acceptable option. Good luck, but with all these games, I can't see your GF sticking around for much longer. Things are all going to come to a head and you're going to be in the center of it.
If you learn a lesson after that, let it be this: don't play games and if you want honesty, you be honest.
So if the ex told you, how is it the girl was hurt? He told you...not the girl. Right? Which of you is the one "leaking" all this information and stirring up drama? Because it definitely isn't your GF. You said she doesn't even know.
Meanwhile, the ex told you...and he was okay with it...but you're not? And he AND Mean Girl slept together but you keep his confidence, while thinking Mean Girl is the devil?
None of this adds up, really. Something else is going on here and you're the one (I'm really sorry) hiding things, making sideways comments about being in the know, trying to break up friends, judging certain people but not others and saying you want to do it without being "culpable."
I don't feel you're really being fully honest here so I don't see how anyone can help you. You obviously want your GF to "know" (a lot of hearsay and gossip) without you being involved. None of us can probably help you with that either. You'll need to figure out how to slip that one on by while keeping your own hands clean, since simply being honest with your GF doesn't seem to be an acceptable option. Good luck, but with all these games, I can't see your GF sticking around for much longer. Things are all going to come to a head and you're going to be in the center of it.
If you learn a lesson after that, let it be this: don't play games and if you want honesty, you be honest.
If you read through my posts it does add up. Summary of story- all girls are friends. Other girl breaks up with guy recently and they all try to console her. mean girl then goes to the ex boyfriend a day or so later and says she wants to hook up with him, knowing full well that her friend is actively trying to work things out with her ex.
I don't know what mean girl would do to my ex, I wouldn't sleep with her, but mean girl obviously has no problem betraying her other friends trust. My question was should I give my gf a heads up that this girl isn't what she seems. I'm not trying to cause drama or come between friends, hence why I asked if I should say anything. I can certainly be honest with my gf, but based on a lot of the responses here it seems like most think I should just keep quiet.
I look at this as if if was me; if one of my friends was hooking up with another guys recently ex who he was trying to work things out with, if my gf knew about it I wouldn't mind a heads up about his true colors.
IF these were YOUR friends, then maybe say something. But that they're not, why would you? If your girlfriend and you are tight, then why bother about possible future drama?
A few months ago we were at a family party and my girlfriends friend tagged along. She proceeded to get blackout drunk and made a fool of herself. Dancing with family members, making out with random guys and generally talking inappropriate drunk nonsense.
At first I wanted to brush it off as a one time thing, but I recently found out that she also slept with another friends exboyfriend (while sober) even though the friend was still clearly not over the breakup.
Should I tell my girlfriend about this and how I really feel about it? She doesn't know about her sleeping with the other guy. Part of me wants to tell her about this so she knows who her friend really is and I can protect her from this person, but part of me doesn't want to damage the close relationship that my girlfriend and this other person have. What would you do?
Why the hell are you SO keen to tell on her?.
It's none of your business what she gets up to mate.
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