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So you're recommendations would be to not even pursue? I'm one of those guys who's horrible at catching on things and I don't know whether I should even put in time and effort on her.
You just have to play it right.
You have to somehow find out if she really likes you or not. Yes her games are a red flag, but your goal now is to see if she really has interest in you.
We can't advise you here on whether to pursue her or not, because we don't know what her intentions are. Only you can find out for yourself.
There are many websites dealing with how to find out if a girl likes you, Google search them.
Why pursue something you are not sure about? Based on what we've read the evidence is flimsy so again up to you to find out.
Count me as a vote for no inter-coworker relationships beyond innocent office, workday only friendships.
I had a coworker for four years who had become a workplace friend We knew the boundaries and never so much as had coffee together. She then promoted to another agency but since I was a policy consultant to the agency on some matters we saw one another and worked on some issues together periodically. Two years after my former wife left me and we divorced I asked my friend out. We no longer had the same employer so I felt free to do so and she felt free to accept. Had we still been with the same agency I would not have asked her out, nor would she have accepted if I had.
As we were known by many of the same people through work the rumors flew anyway and the gossip bloomed. We found it rather humorous but it would have been much worse if she hadn't left for another employer.
Anyway, we're now married and retired so all's well that ends well.
Oh, yes. There were dyer predictions that we were too different from one another to ever last. Somehow we've managed to do so for almost 20 years.
I'm in a complicated dilemma.. I have been at my new job since April and well.. I have a strict rule of "don't **** where you eat"..... unfortunately, that rule is slowly becoming an issue for me. I work with this girl (let's name her Steph) and well she's made it seem like she's not my biggest fan every other day of the week and doesn't interact much with me. When we do talk it's very short and to the point conversations and nothing more. However, recently, I've noticed that during our morning meetings she's usually always near me or next to me which is even more confusing.
Now here's where my assumption of her not being my biggest fan comes from.. I work in sales (and so does she) and well I've been doing well at my job but I've assumed that she's taken to some nasty comments/actions towards my results (e.g., he has nothing to show for it, or, seemed upset by it) which were not part of my intentions towards anyone else in my company. Now here's where it gets weird..
She seems capable of having a normal conversation with everyone else except me.. and it was recently the end of the Q for our company so we had a little party in the meantime. Here we interacted and socialized and surprisingly enough so did me and her! We talked for a bit (although we had a few drinks in us) and she kept pushing me to drink from a tequila shot that she had just tried.. What I'm confused with is that the whole night we we're interacting and she always showed up wherever I was located. So my question is.. does this seem like an opportunity I want to pursue or was it influence by alcohol?
dating coworkers is very very tricky at best, especially when you are in the same office and doing the same job in the same chain of command. one small slip and one of you is gone, perhaps even both of you.
as for her motives, i would be very suspicious of them, she may be trying to set you up for a fall of some sort, one where you get fired for one reason or another.
my advice here is to leave well enough alone. just do your job, and keep the interaction with her at a required minimum. always be cordial, even friendly, but go no further. if you want to gamble, go to vegas by yourself.
dating coworkers is very very tricky at best, especially when you are in the same office and doing the same job in the same chain of command. one small slip and one of you is gone, perhaps even both of you.
as for her motives, i would be very suspicious of them, she may be trying to set you up for a fall of some sort, one where you get fired for one reason or another.
my advice here is to leave well enough alone. just do your job, and keep the interaction with her at a required minimum. always be cordial, even friendly, but go no further. if you want to gamble, go to vegas by yourself.
I agree with you i'd stay away from this one. She seems like the type to try and get someone in to trouble.
So you're recommendations would be to not even pursue? I'm one of those guys who's horrible at catching on things and I don't know whether I should even put in time and effort on her.
follow your guts, waits few days and see if you get clear signs. Being the nice guy (I changed you language) unfortunately makes it easier for her to play games.
I will not rush into a conclusion, maybe she really likes you and interested, but putting time and effort and thinking about her is not worth it now.
I'm in a complicated dilemma.. I have been at my new job since April and well.. I have a strict rule of "don't **** where you eat"..... unfortunately, that rule is slowly becoming an issue for me. I work with this girl (let's name her Steph) and well she's made it seem like she's not my biggest fan every other day of the week and doesn't interact much with me. When we do talk it's very short and to the point conversations and nothing more. However, recently, I've noticed that during our morning meetings she's usually always near me or next to me which is even more confusing.
Now here's where my assumption of her not being my biggest fan comes from.. I work in sales (and so does she) and well I've been doing well at my job but I've assumed that she's taken to some nasty comments/actions towards my results (e.g., he has nothing to show for it, or, seemed upset by it) which were not part of my intentions towards anyone else in my company. Now here's where it gets weird..
She seems capable of having a normal conversation with everyone else except me.. and it was recently the end of the Q for our company so we had a little party in the meantime. Here we interacted and socialized and surprisingly enough so did me and her! We talked for a bit (although we had a few drinks in us) and she kept pushing me to drink from a tequila shot that she had just tried.. What I'm confused with is that the whole night we we're interacting and she always showed up wherever I was located. So my question is.. does this seem like an opportunity I want to pursue or was it influence by alcohol?
She might just feel comfortable around you, in a friendly way. I mean, I sort of do the same thing, sometimes I'll gravitate toward certain coworkers but that does NOT mean I want anything more. It doesn't mean I would even want to be platonic friends outside of work. It might even be purely coincidence.
So... I'm either just completely oblivious or stupid.. But when we returned back to the office on Tuesday I noticed that she was looking a lot towards my direction and whenever I looked up she turned away. In addition, as I walked past her I said "hey, what's going on?" and she didn't reply but we made intense eye contact (it was like that throughout the day Tuesday). Also, whenever I walked by we just looked at each other but didn't say a word? Any who, things started changing by Wednesday/Thursday where she didn't look my way as much but I would sort of think she was glimpsing my way and then roll her eyes towards a different direction. This has just been an overall - unique experience.
I recently got out of a relationship with a co-worker. It was brief, but fun. We had a friendly, flirtatious relationship for awhile. I asked her out, we clicked out, we started hanging out even more. Great sex. But it ended because we decided it's probably best to be friends given our close professional proximity. Probably more her than me, but I got it.
In your case, OP, I'd just ignore this chick unless she gives you a clear sign she's interested. She seems like kind of a weirdo from what you describe. It might be that she's interested but doesn't want you to find out, or you're reading into a lot of non-verbal cues that aren't there. Either way, you're there to work, and if you meet someone you click with, great! But don't overly concern yourself with it.
So, you think she wants some full blown office romance after having a couple drinks at a party?
In respects to dating coworkers....
Are you the type that can keep all past lovers (girlfriends/fwb/f buddies, etc) as true friends in your life? If yes, you can possibly date coworkers without much drama interfering with your work.
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