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Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Okay CD Relationships, let's have it.
I met a woman last year in my favorite habitat, a major music festival. We met and talked super briefly and we became friends on FB. She lives three states North of me. She has picked my brain on a few matters since she knows I used to work in finance. She makes a lot of Snapchat videos which I find hilarious. She is also college-educated and very intelligent and we have the same taste in music. Also she physically is very attractive. Tall, plus-sized woman. She has a lot of what I want in a woman right?
The cause to pause? She has a child. Now anyone who knows me here knows this is a major deal breaker for me typically. But the reason I have not retired this possibility is because of the circumstances. The child is a little older and the father in this situation is actively involved, so she is probably not looking for someone to play daddy and her child seems well adjusted and behaved.
It could be very possible that one thing that attracts me to this women shockingly enough is that she is very independent and raising her son as a single parent very well. She reminds me of how my mother raised me absent the involved father. While me and my own mother don't have the greatest relationship, I respect her highly for what she had to do to raise me. I think that is my attraction to this woman, she handles business and is strong.
So CD, know I'm a little crazy, but would it be crazy for me to drop one major dealbreaker and pursue someone historically I would not have pursued because I really like her?
Just go with how you feel on this. I would have thought one of my deal breakers was an older man. I kind of had this idea in my head that I wouldn't go any more than five years older. And distance too, he had to be close. I'm dating a man nine years older and a good hour and a half drive away and I wouldn't trade him for the world. When I met him those deal breakers just seemed to go out the door because he as a person was more than the deal breakers.
So my thought is go with your gut. If you feel it's right despite deal breakers you previously thought you had, just go for it and see where it goes. If it's a good match those deal breakers won't bother you a bit. But it they may at you and overshadow the relationship, then maybe you gut is telling you something there as well and funny man is right. Trust your instructs on this one.
No, it's not crazy.
Very often one makes a lot of assumptions about how things would (like with a deal breaker)be when in reality, it's not the way you thought it would be and/or other things more than compensate for that one thing.
There is seldom.....never... perfection.
I met a woman last year in my favorite habitat, a major music festival. We met and talked super briefly and we became friends on FB. She lives three states North of me. She has picked my brain on a few matters since she knows I used to work in finance. She makes a lot of Snapchat videos which I find hilarious. She is also college-educated and very intelligent and we have the same taste in music. Also she physically is very attractive. Tall, plus-sized woman. She has a lot of what I want in a woman right?
The cause to pause? She has a child. Now anyone who knows me here knows this is a major deal breaker for me typically. But the reason I have not retired this possibility is because of the circumstances. The child is a little older and the father in this situation is actively involved, so she is probably not looking for someone to play daddy and her child seems well adjusted and behaved.
It could be very possible that one thing that attracts me to this women shockingly enough is that she is very independent and raising her son as a single parent very well. She reminds me of how my mother raised me absent the involved father. While me and my own mother don't have the greatest relationship, I respect her highly for what she had to do to raise me. I think that is my attraction to this woman, she handles business and is strong.
So CD, know I'm a little crazy, but would it be crazy for me to drop one major dealbreaker and pursue someone historically I would not have pursued because I really like her?
I don't see a problem if you don't have to play the father figure. I was roughly in your place about 20 years ago. She told me that she and the boy's father were all the parents her teenager needed; my role was to become a friend. It has turned out that way. What i did do, i think, was to see how bright he was and stimulate his curiosity. Several years ago, my friend received his Ph.D in hydrology.
If you have to ask strangers on a forum about relationship doubts....
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