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Don't beat your self up... I tried to find a dad for my kids and that did not work out well either. It is hard to find someone that wants to step up to love and support kids not biologically theirs.
I'm sure it is. I never tried to. At the time I wasn't looking for marriage or a serious relationship. Perhaps that was selfish of me. When I finally started dating my now ex the kids were pretty much grown, I remember my mom saying "well its too late now". I thought what the what? I never really thought about how my kids were missing out growing up without a dad until I started raising my grand kids.
I'm sure it is. I never tried to. At the time I wasn't looking for marriage or a serious relationship. Perhaps that was selfish of me. When I finally started dating my now ex the kids were pretty much grown, I remember my mom saying "well its too late now". I thought what the what? I never really thought about how my kids were missing out growing up without a dad until I started raising my grand kids.
My kids are 5 and 12 and I can see that they are missing out, but I can't fix it. So I have them in therapy and I hope that it will be enough. I can't find them a dad.
My kids are 5 and 12 and I can see that they are missing out, but I can't fix it. So I have them in therapy and I hope that it will be enough. I can't find them a dad.
top looking for a dad for them. Start looking for a partner for you. If he's the right one, the rest will follow. Your good relationship will be the best, stabilizing thing the children can have.
top looking for a dad for them. Start looking for a partner for you. If he's the right one, the rest will follow. Your good relationship will be the best, stabilizing thing the children can have.
Agreed
Although I'm hopeful it's just a poor choice of words on her part and ^^^^ was what she meant
No, I have dated two single dads and I am the type of person who has problems bonding with other people's children. I don't think it is fair to ask others to be your children's parents, nor do I think it is fair or healthy to force children to accept other women/men as their new moms and dads.
Things should happen naturally.
I am with a man without children. If we decided to start a family, it is going to be our first experience together. I think it is better this way.
IME, it's the expectation that people place on childless people who date parents. They expect the childless person to love the child as if they were their own - which is nice when it happens, but I don't think that it should be expected.
Loving and bonding with a mate is different than doing so with a child.
IME, it's the expectation that people place on childless people who date parents. They expect the childless person to love the child as if they were their own - which is nice when it happens, but I don't think that it should be expected.
Loving and bonding with a mate is different than doing so with a child.
I agree with you 100%. I think it is not that difficult to find a gal or a guy who wants to take the responsibility. But it is not realistic to expect the instant bond or unconditional love from a person who is not biologically related to your child.
My sister has said, "The man who loves me must love my kids." I love my nephews, but I don't think this kind of expectation is realistic. I expect the man to treat my nephews well, 100% of the time. But love them? Takes time. If it happens, great, if it never happens, well, as long as he can get along with my nephews, it will be good enough for me. He already has a dad.
First off, I have no children. I have no interest in them or the effort I would have to put into raising them. And I sure don't want to be in the position where I felt that I couldn't discipline a child in my own home. I refuse to take any crap from someone else's kid.
Also, there was way too much drama with the baby mama and child support and custody battles. No thank you to any of it.
top looking for a dad for them. Start looking for a partner for you. If he's the right one, the rest will follow. Your good relationship will be the best, stabilizing thing the children can have.
Talk about a huge turn off. I will not raise a kid that is not biologically my own. Not only does mean I will never date a woman with a kid, women with kids won't want to date me if I told them this.
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