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I just never liked someone knowing that much about me who may not be in my life that long. I never give my real first name to a woman until after about 3 or 4 dates.
I went on a single date with a guy from Tinder who I found out had lied about his first name (found out when he gave his real name to the Starbucks barista when we met for coffee). I called him on it. He tried to explain it away because of potential "psycho" or stalker women. I told him I don't really think much of men who are so scared of women they won't disclose something as basic as their first name; women have WAY more to fear from men, IMO, and if I'm not afraid of giving a man I'm meeting for coffee my first name, he should't be, either. I also felt like an ass for addressing him by his fake name for the couple of days we had been messaging.
Part of dating is allowing someone else to get to know you. If you are so afraid of other people that you feel you have to lie about your name, you shouldn't be dating. This kind of paranoia does not bode well for a relationship, which requires trust.
I went on a single date with a guy from Tinder who I found out had lied about his first name (found out when he gave his real name to the Starbucks barista when we met for coffee). I called him on it. He tried to explain it away because of potential "psycho" or stalker women. I told him I don't really think much of men who are so scared of women they won't disclose something as basic as their first name; women have WAY more to fear from men, IMO, and if I'm not afraid of giving a man I'm meeting for coffee my first name, he should't be, either. I also felt like an ass for addressing him by his fake name for the couple of days we had been messaging.
Part of dating is allowing someone else to get to know you. If you are so afraid of other people that you feel you have to lie about your name, you shouldn't be dating. This kind of paranoia does not bode well for a relationship, which requires trust.
While I don't disagree, this doesn't mean men shouldn't also be careful. Just because a woman may be comfortable with something early on, doesn't mean the guy should be as well. Let's not start with the double standards here..
That being said, I do agree with the fact that lying about your first name is definitely a bit beyond paranoia, imo. Most people have a pretty generic first name for the most part, so I don't see what there'd be to fear.
Last edited by NewYorker11356; 07-31-2016 at 09:11 PM..
While I don't disagree, this doesn't mean men shouldn't also be careful. Just because a woman may be comfortable with something early on, doesn't mean the guy should be as well. Let's not start with the double standards here..
That being said, I do agree with the fact that lying about your first name is definitely a bit beyond paranoia, imo. Most people have a pretty generic first name for the most part, so I don't see what there'd be to fear.
Basic caution is always warranted when meeting a stranger for the first time. But I stand by my statement that I feel women have more to fear in meeting an unknown man for the first time; pretty sure statistics would back me up on that.
I went on a single date with a guy from Tinder who I found out had lied about his first name (found out when he gave his real name to the Starbucks barista when we met for coffee). I called him on it. He tried to explain it away because of potential "psycho" or stalker women. I told him I don't really think much of men who are so scared of women they won't disclose something as basic as their first name; women have WAY more to fear from men, IMO, and if I'm not afraid of giving a man I'm meeting for coffee my first name, he should't be, either. I also felt like an ass for addressing him by his fake name for the couple of days we had been messaging.
Part of dating is allowing someone else to get to know you. If you are so afraid of other people that you feel you have to lie about your name, you shouldn't be dating. This kind of paranoia does not bode well for a relationship, which requires trust.
Isn't Tinder all about hooking up? So I can understand why some people might choose not to use their correct name.
Basic caution is always warranted when meeting a stranger for the first time. But I stand by my statement that I feel women have more to fear in meeting an unknown man for the first time; pretty sure statistics would back me up on that.
I definitely don't disagree with that.
Overall, both genders should use basic caution when meeting someone for the first time. I always like to meet my dates in a public place for that very reason.
If you give a fake first name, you are a straight-up weirdo who probably should have dating much further down on your to-do list.
I use my middle name to start things off.
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