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Thank you everyone. This is the end of Tuesday and she has done nothing but turn this on me. Won't even talk on the phone. Won't do anything but some meaningless emails. Offers no solutions.
There's an old saying. "Actions speak louder than words"
Her actions scream that I'm not important. That she's not willing to change the situation. That she just doesn't care.
It sucks but her heart has hardened from all the hurt she's been thru. A lot of it I put her thru. N
Why are you setting an ultimatum and then you are running after her?
She has shown you more than once how much she (doesn't) respects you.
2.5 years I've been tolerant of this. But the texting got sexual after our breakup last year. I get commitments from my girlfriend and her ex husband that they will keep it to regular ex spouse stuff, but he can't stick to it. We had a wonderful night last night and I slept over. We are getting ready to go out for the day and a damm text comes in from him and I look at her phone. Turns out he had asked her to spend the day with him and have sex. To use him as the guy on the side. And all this and he has a gf and knows we are trying to work things out. She turned him down. But I was mad that she didn't tell me about it. She says she's gonna cut him off but doesn't. He still helps her some $$ but hell I do for my ex wife as well. They have no kids together.
I'm at a point of an ultimatum. Cut him off 100%. Change phone numbers and email accounts or we are forever done. I hate that it has come to this. But I won't have any guy talk like that to a woman I am with.
Who's been thru this. ? Advice ? Opinions ?
Have you heard of this excuse? "I have tried to be mean to him, but he keeps on harassing me. I have done all I could to stop him from sending me text messages, I guess he just cannot stop." Or "we are just friends, no need to be mean to him."
She KNEW how to stop him, she didn't want to.
SHE is the one who wants to keep HIM on the side, No men (or women) in their right minds will keep on trying to sleep with somebody without some kind of encouragement from the other party. Your little woman is not innocent here.
It looks like keeping you jealous is some kind of fun game for her.
Don't believe me? well, tell her, "if he sent you message of sexual nature again, give me the phone, I will send a reply back to him." See how she would react.
So freakin mad! She sends message to call her and we will talk. Then I call precisely when she says. Nope doesn't answer. So I wait 30 mins, maybe she's asleep or something. Nope no answer.
She's a player. She don't give a shat about you. She doesn't respect you because you put up with her nonsense and come running back for more. She uses guys like you for attention. You're not the one she wants. You don't 'do it' for her.
Treat her like a piece of ass, not a woman who you want to be with, and watch her snuggle up next to you.
Yeah there's nothing left to do. Just go completely off the radar screen. Yeah there's nothing left to do. Just go completely off the radar screen. I know this woman and if I go silent for a few days she'll break down and contact me. At that point honestly I don't know that I have any urge to speak to her.
Why is this crap so hard?
Block her number. She tries to contact you, it doesn't happen.
It is hard when there was a connection, no matter how dysfunctional. That is what what makes it difficult. It gets better as time goes on. It helps to find something to occupy your time and energy so you don't ruminate on it.
Dude, I have a feeling this gal is going to eventually go bat$heet crazy on you and harass the hell out of you. You might want to get things on your radar like, moving, restraining order...etc
Update. She gave me her promise that she would cut communication with this ex on Sunday. She begged for another chance. I did not demand she cut communication She came up with that. Well yesterday I find an email she sent him 45 minutes after our talk and her commitment. She told him "I was just trying to calm him (me) down. I still want us to have our fun". This was her follow up to an email where she yells the ex no more contact. When I confront her she has no explanation. Says she was tired and didn't know what she was saying. My god. What a joke. She just can't stop. She made it 45 mins. Unreal. At this point I want no relationship with her. She's not capable. Maybe if she goes to therapy and works on this, which she committed to do.
Un real.
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