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Old 08-10-2016, 01:29 AM
 
8 posts, read 7,718 times
Reputation: 10

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I am not sure if I am in a very unique situation because my husband is 44 and is a gamer that has really gotten obsessed with games. You normally hear this kind of thing happening with younger men but it's my reality.

Well have three children, one is 19 and already in college the others are 17 and 14. My husband has played games off and on before but as of the last two years it has really taken off. He has got grossly involved with world of warcraft, is part of a "guild" and has frequently missed events and even date nights because he plays it.

He does work but as soon as he get home from work he gets on his computer and logs on to it and that's all he does. He has even spent lots of money to upgrade his computer and now it has literally become his world. I have tried talking to him but he doesn't view it as a problem and I have even tried going the route of dressing sexy but when I did and went into his man cave he has set up he shrugged me off. He even got real upset saying "can't you see I am in the middle of something?!?!". I went back to our bedroom and cried it hurt so much.

When I told him our daughter will be graduating soon he just said "that's great make sure to video tape it for me" seriously???

I am so tired of this. And I know our other two daughters are as well.
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Old 08-10-2016, 01:36 AM
 
519 posts, read 777,566 times
Reputation: 965
Couples play WoW together, ever thought about playing it with him? Becoming interested in his world might go a long way. Perhaps if you were there you could bring him out.
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Old 08-10-2016, 01:45 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,218 posts, read 107,999,816 times
Reputation: 116179
Some very interesting advice was quoted from a nationally-known advice column here recently. It said something along the lines of: if someone withdraws into their own world of activities at the expense of the relationship, they're telling you they're not interested in the relationship anymore.

Your husband seems to be telling you that the marriage is over. He has checked out. He's also checked out of the family. It seems that he would be happy in an apartment by himself, with his games all night and weekends. If you and the kids quietly disappeared from his life, I wonder if he would notice.
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Old 08-10-2016, 02:00 AM
 
67 posts, read 63,759 times
Reputation: 179
Here's an idea: Stop nagging and bugging him and let him do what he wants. So often men are the ones that have to sacrifice everything, for once he has the ability to do what he wants on his terms. Just because you don't like what he does means that he must do whatever you want.

Here's a great video to watch:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KokL_YbDEwI
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Old 08-10-2016, 03:35 AM
 
Location: Tricity, PL
61,749 posts, read 87,217,162 times
Reputation: 131751
He is addicted to the games. Therapy might help, but not sure how you can make him go to see a therapist. A serious talk about the state of your marriage is due. Try that, then decide your next step.
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Old 08-10-2016, 04:01 AM
 
Location: Where the sun likes to shine!!
20,548 posts, read 30,405,807 times
Reputation: 88951
Games for fun is one thing but what he is doing is letting it take over his life. If he is choosing games over his wife and family then it has become an addiction. He either needs help or you need to figure out if you can live with this. Good luck.
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Old 08-10-2016, 06:36 AM
 
29,523 posts, read 22,680,154 times
Reputation: 48244
Video game obsession thread.

Counseling for you two, and if things dont get better, time to move on.
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Old 08-10-2016, 06:42 AM
 
Location: Central IL
20,722 posts, read 16,389,568 times
Reputation: 50380
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johanastra View Post
Here's an idea: Stop nagging and bugging him and let him do what he wants. So often men are the ones that have to sacrifice everything, for once he has the ability to do what he wants on his terms. Just because you don't like what he does means that he must do whatever you want.

Here's a great video to watch:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KokL_YbDEwI

And just the title says it all - total B.S. Men who believe this have no reason or right to be in any type of "relationship". Just get a FB (who knows that they are ONLY a FB) and call it a day...then you don't have any of these issues that are so upsetting.
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Old 08-10-2016, 06:42 AM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,995,252 times
Reputation: 40635
Married 20+ years and "misses date nights"... add to that "man cave", "dressing sexy", and sure, "video tape it for me". Um, ok, right.
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Old 08-10-2016, 07:10 AM
 
50 posts, read 29,389 times
Reputation: 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
Married 20+ years and "misses date nights"... add to that "man cave", "dressing sexy", and sure, "video tape it for me". Um, ok, right.
Yeah the graduation part kind of gave this 1 away
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