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And people can do things (sure, he won't be great at it) they really aren't into because the person they love really enjoys it. GGG.
This also.
I'm surprised at the women who are so quick to think it is fine for one partner to ignore the needs of the other. I wonder how that works out in their relationships.
@Funymann - I mean it is probably not the easiest place to find NOW. But when we first started out I kept the area tidy all the time. After 2 full years of Bob not looking down there then I stopped worrying about it at all.
Maybe it would be a good idea to go back to the Tidy Towns routine on the chance that he suddenly surprises you. Would be a shame to turn him off if he managed to get turned on to visiting down there.
What no one has asked - or perhaps I missed it - do you ever initiate things, become caressing with his body, [Mod cut.]. I was thinking that if he got turned first by you, he might then be more turned on than he usually is.
It is really a sad situation because from your description he has turned out to be Mr. Wonderful...great for the kids too! But bummer sex like you are describing would certainly be difficult to handle at a young age.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 08-18-2016 at 10:32 PM..
Reason: Not PG-13.
Sounds like you need to have a come to Jesus talk with him. This will come out eventually anyway.
You shouldn't have to stay with a guy who doesn't care about your needs just for your kids. If you do break up with him, it's not going to scar them for life if they already have a loving, caring, and stable relationship with you.
I use to initiate things, always use to [Mod cut.] - he would never get so turned on though that he did anything to me about it. Mod cut. and its honestly really hard for me to get aroused with him at all lately because I am so turned off. I know all of these sexual issues probably boil down to him being VERY sexually inexperienced but he is the kind of guy that would NEVER admit that. I am going to try and ask him about counseling, that could help.
I mean if he at least put in the effort it would make me feel better, sure yeah he may be crappy at it but just the effort would go a long way.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 08-18-2016 at 10:35 PM..
Reason: TMI; Not PG-13.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,981,862 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by evilgurl80
I know all of these sexual issues probably boil down to him being VERY sexually inexperienced but he is the kind of guy that would NEVER admit that.
I don't buy that for a second. If he was sexually inexperienced he would be trying to do everything, all the time, and try everything. It would be like a kid in a candy store.
I'm surprised at the women who are so quick to think it is fine for one partner to ignore the needs of the other. I wonder how that works out in their relationships.
It's fine for someone to have needs. It is equally fine for someone not to want to oblige them.
There are certain things that I will NOT do sexually. One, in particular, is something fairly common. My partner knew this at the outset. If down the line, he comes to me and declares that this is a "need" of his and gets his man panties in a bunch because I should be obliging his "needs", I'd tell him were he and his "needs" could go. (Especially if he comes to me with some BS thing about how "all men need this to be sexually fulfilled" and I'm not a "good lover" if I don't do it.)
Do I do certain things that I don't particularly enjoy because he likes them? Sure I do. But, no, I won't go certain places, and the "argument" that I should because others do it is laughable to me.
This guy doesn't like [Mod cut.]. Sure, he could probably oblige her at times by doing it, but if this truly is a sexual "need" for her, I'd wager that it's not going to be enough.
And, really, not performing oral on him because he won't do it for her? That's definitely a sign of a healthy relationship.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 08-18-2016 at 10:36 PM..
Reason: Not PG-13.
Do you really mean that, though? Because that's what you've got and you're not happy with it.
You really do need to open up the lines of communication with him about this. Is he happy with your sex life? Is he healthy and in a good place mentally?It's a tricky situation because sex is where many men feel powerful and he might retreat further, but at the same time he needs to know that you're not getting what you need.
Maybe you will not believe this, but there are quite a few men out there who do not like to [Mod cut.]. Like not every woman likes to [Mod cut.].
I doubt that you can change that, he is not into that. But you can try to discuss your sex life with him, maybe he opens up to other things.
Better not to leave him, as you said you prefer a good man with not so good sex life, this is your Bob, stay!
Last edited by PJSaturn; 08-18-2016 at 10:38 PM..
Reason: Not PG-13.
He works 50+ hours per week. Then he comes home and there are kids all over and they aren't his. He is probably doing whatever he can to provide for you and the kids and then on top of it he gets the sex nagging and a gf who only [Mod cut.] when he asks for it and then only for a hot second only.
If my bf would work his butt off for me and my kids, I would [Mod cut.] at least every second day, unasked, but that's just me.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 08-18-2016 at 10:41 PM..
Reason: Not PG-13.
The thing is though that some people *gasp* do not like to do certain sexual things. [Snip.]. And, no, not every woman "needs" it either.
That you didn't have this issue in your past relationships doesn't mean that this guy is doing things wrong. He is just not compatible with you in this way.
"......The thing is though that some people *gasp* do not like to do certain sexual things. [Mod cut.] And, no, not every woman "needs" it either....."
Could not have said it better, this ^^^^^^!
Last edited by PJSaturn; 08-18-2016 at 10:42 PM..
Reason: Not PG-13.
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