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Or ask her if it's that time of the month. Women love it when men do that.
I have personally found that beginning my response with, "Now, Honey, let me explain something to you...."
Works. Every. Time.
Not too many dustups in our marriage. But once when I was cleaning the kitchen after dinner, she came in to nitpick how I was loading the dishwasher. Mind you, at that point, I typically cooked dinner and took care of the kitchen.
So she says, "What I'm trying to say is, I want you to clean the kitchen the way I do."
To which I shot back, "What? Occasionally?"
Yeah. That's five seconds of my life I'd like to have back. But, after that, if I cooked dinner, she cleaned the kitchen. So I guessed it worked out.
Stand your ground, give as good as you get and let her know that you are not going take crap. It's about respect and women do not respect weakness. If she doesn't get the message leave.
These are just the myriad little things that get on anyone's nerves when they live together, If you had a roommate, chances are there would be spats with him, too. We are all different, so different things upset us. I should add, I just bought a new car last Friday, and I'm in love with it - if you parked it too far out in the street I'd be upset, too. It wouldn't be the end of the world, but certainly I would complain about it, especially if I then had to go out and fix it. If you responded by telling me I'm being silly or whatever you say to your wife, my anger level would then shoot up, not over the car, but you trivializing my feelings.
It sounds like you have a habit of invalidating your wife's feelings. Not saying she is right to get upset at all these things, but nothing is going to escalate any person's feelings of resentment towards another person than that person telling them they "shouldn't" feel a certain, that the issue is trivial. People need to feel heard.
In any case, all you can control is the way you react. Often if one person's changes their reactions to healthier ones, the other will, too.
Honestly, My wife never stays angry with me for an entire day unless I give her reason to be angry.
If it's a misunderstanding or her own demeanor or interests speaking for her I will ask her to explain why "it" is having such a huge negative affect towards me and in general.
If she can't or won't attempt to explain or help me understand what she believes I do not understand or see myself...that's kind of on her and her problem to deal with
Until she can relate her conflict with me TO me, I can't really reciprocate or attempt to help her.
The process of reconciliation takes two equally willing parties. to that, it's up to the one with the grievance to make it known first before any resolutions can even be considered.
Last edited by rego00123; 09-23-2016 at 03:06 PM..
Ok, I'll name a few things. One time I parked the car no more than 1 foot away from the curb. (Pettiness)
In another incident, I had to use the bathroom really bad because the last meal was going through me, so as I pulled into the driveway I jumped out of the car, ran into the house to the bathroom. In my mad dash to the toilet, I didn't make sure to prop the door open so someone else could come in after me and the door locked. She was inconvenienced to use the key she had in her pocket. It's not like I locked her out. I spent the rest of the day apologizing profusely but alas the day AND night was crap.
Another time I got a ticket in the mail. The ticket was for travelling briefly in the HOV lane. The ticket was for a whole 45 cents. She was on me about that for an entire day and even cancelled our plans for the day claiming I ruined the day. (Trivial)
I guess she gets too mad at things that don't warrant such a high level of anger. We never fight or shout at eachother or anything like that. These things happen very seldom. But when they do it's intense.
Would love to hear the wife's side of these stories.
Just sayin'.
Now, regarding the question: if you literally want to kill yourself regarding things your SO does or says, IT IS TIME TO LEAVE.
I did that ONCE!!!!... When I was 17/18ish..... Never again
Lesson learned
HA HA, (snort) Yes...this is one question you never want to ask a woman when she's angry.
Just...don't.
It's pretty much akin to throwing gasoline on top of Napalm and then throwing the entire thing into an active volcano.
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