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Old 10-07-2016, 09:41 AM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
Reputation: 40635

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Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
My sister does that all the time--drives me nuts. I've never stuck my foot in my mouth, but a heads up would be nice.
I have. Oof.
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Old 10-07-2016, 09:48 AM
 
Location: Chicago. Kind of.
2,894 posts, read 2,453,459 times
Reputation: 7984
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chava61 View Post
Yes since it is a close family member who I don't wish to be used and abused by any more.

In any case, I don't consider it gossip since I shared it with the person the sender wrote about who I am close to and the sender knows that and I felt that person had a right to know what was being said about them behind their back.
It IS gossip. Malicious gossip. You totally can't see that this is no better than kids on a playground tattling about "who said what about whom". I see that you're going to continue to just try to justify your actions, though, so I'll leave it at, "Congrats on getting a third person all wound up in your little family drama."
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Old 10-07-2016, 10:24 AM
 
50,795 posts, read 36,501,346 times
Reputation: 76591
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
My sister does that all the time--drives me nuts. I've never stuck my foot in my mouth, but a heads up would be nice.
My last bf used to do this to me! Often I had started saying something "sexy" and he would quick jump in and tell me so and so is with him and I'm on speaker. Yes, knowing ahead of time would've been nice!
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Old 10-07-2016, 03:35 PM
 
43,663 posts, read 44,406,521 times
Reputation: 20577
Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl View Post
I think of it the same way as someone putting me on speaker phone when there are other people around without telling me I'm on speaker. I should not have to tell you in the beginning of the phone call not to share it with 5 other people in the room unless I give permission, that should be a given. To me you forwarding the e-mail to others is similar, and it is rude.

Why are you dragging other people into your fight, in any case?
The email was about fight about 2 other people that I related but one of them I am not on speaking terms. So they have been dragging me into their fight and told them to stop many times. This time I just forwarded the email between them.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Missy2U View Post
It IS gossip. Malicious gossip. You totally can't see that this is no better than kids on a playground tattling about "who said what about whom". I see that you're going to continue to just try to justify your actions, though, so I'll leave it at, "Congrats on getting a third person all wound up in your little family drama."
No there is no 3rd person as the fight is between the person who sent me the email and the one I forwarded it to. The person who emailed me was trying to drag me who is the 3rd person into their fight.
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Old 10-07-2016, 03:40 PM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chava61 View Post
No there is no 3rd person as the fight is between the person who sent me the email and the one I forwarded it to. The person who emailed me was trying to drag me who is the 3rd person into their fight.

That IS three people, the emailer, you, the person you forwarded it to. Three people. Stop.
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Old 10-07-2016, 03:52 PM
 
Location: Tricity, PL
61,726 posts, read 87,147,355 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chava61 View Post
Is there any email etiquette that says one can not share emails with others? For me if any email is marked confidential, personal or there is a request in the email not to share information, then it would be not acceptable to share it. But otherwise I don't see why not. Also would you call someone despicable if they shared an email that had no such request or personal marking on it among people who are close to you and normally share stuff with them about your personal life.
You can't prevent someone from forwarding your email, and you also can't prevent them from changing it before they do so.
Not only can they forward your email, but they can change what your email says. When someone forwards an email, that email simply becomes the body of a new email, that can be edited before hitting send. And by edited, it could be as simple as changing a "yes" to a "no", an "I love you" to a "I hate you", or perhaps "the boss is a genius" to "the boss is an idiot".

However, there are etiquette rules - simple and clear:

If you are forwarding a private email that was sent to you, you should get the sender's permission to forward it to others (or post it publicly). Emails are copyright protected by their authors. Not only that, common courtesy dictates that you should ask the author first if the email sent for your eyes only can be forwarded to strangers or others for which it was not originally intended.

So, if you were concerned about your email being forwarded, you really do need to trust your recipients.
Same with everything you tell or write on paper. Don't say anything in email that you wouldn't want to be made public, and make sure you're only emailing/telling it to someone you really trust.

Common sense, no?
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Old 10-07-2016, 04:28 PM
 
43,663 posts, read 44,406,521 times
Reputation: 20577
Quote:
Originally Posted by elnina View Post
You can't prevent someone from forwarding your email, and you also can't prevent them from changing it before they do so.
Not only can they forward your email, but they can change what your email says. When someone forwards an email, that email simply becomes the body of a new email, that can be edited before hitting send. And by edited, it could be as simple as changing a "yes" to a "no", an "I love you" to a "I hate you", or perhaps "the boss is a genius" to "the boss is an idiot".

However, there are etiquette rules - simple and clear:

If you are forwarding a private email that was sent to you, you should get the sender's permission to forward it to others (or post it publicly). Emails are copyright protected by their authors. Not only that, common courtesy dictates that you should ask the author first if the email sent for your eyes only can be forwarded to strangers or others for which it was not originally intended.

So, if you were concerned about your email being forwarded, you really do need to trust your recipients.
Same with everything you tell or write on paper. Don't say anything in email that you wouldn't want to be made public, and make sure you're only emailing/telling it to someone you really trust.

Common sense, no?
I am not concerned about my emails being forwarded in general as I realize that one cannot control what happened to one's email after it is sent out.

In this particular case as far as I was concerned it was not private since it was about a well known family fight between 2 members of the family that everyone who is acquainted with them knows about. Since I had cut off contact months ago with the sender I felt it was justified to forward to the person (who I am in contact with) that sender was discussing in the email. The sender should never have sent me that email since we are not speaking terms to begin with. Therefore it would not occur to me to ask their permission since I am not replying to anything they might write and I haven't heard from them in a while and this email did not refer to their relationship with me. So there is/was a lack of commonsense on the part of the sender in this particular case.
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