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Talking to women when there is no romantic connotation is no big deal to me. When I try to talk to a woman romantically, I tend to put too much pressure on myself to keep her interested and not be boring.
Women don't care if a man is interesting. We care if he is interested in US. Make sure you keep that straight.
So for the hell of it, I put a little investment into my poor dating life and tried out Tinder Plus. I haven't gotten any dates out of but I do have some tales to tell.
1. I get a match, and this woman messages me and says "you the one daddy." I asked her to elaborate and she said I'd make a perfect model for a well known old woman. I unmatched her in world record speed.
2. I decided to embrace a strategy of playing the numbers game and just swipe right to everyone. I get a match with someone I used to hang out with a couple of years ago. I know her but not too well. She looks okay, but the thing feels awkward to me. I still have her matched but I haven't messaged her after a few weeks.
3. I spent the last two weeks mostly in my office but I matched with this gorgeous woman who has everything I want physically in a woman. She had started to do a fade out of interest by not messaging me the last couple of days. I accept it as she ain't interested. I go out to get some groceries today and I happened to see her in an aisle. I do what I can to avoid her because I don't want any awkward .
So I found out that while I have no problem taking up against any guy who messes with me or my friends, I'm super awkward and scared to talk to women on a romantic level. Don't know what the hell to do about it, but I'm still trying.
Women are just people, too. Don't believe all the internet nonsense. Is there someone (who can give you good feedback) you can practice talking with?
Talking to women when there is no romantic connotation is no big deal to me. When I try to talk to a woman romantically, I tend to put too much pressure on myself to keep her interested and not be boring.
Lots of good comments, here. What comes to mind for me is that you may be feeling like you're on stage when you want to talk to a woman, like suddenly, a big spotlight will come on, and beam down at you. Lose that feeling. You don't need to have an arsenal of funny jokes or stories, like Seinfeld, and you don't need to be erudite or brilliant. All you need to do, really, is find some common ground to talk about. Like you said you'd been texting with a woman about shared music interests. That sort of thing.
And if it's just a brief store encounter, or some such, you can talk about almost anything. "Boy, that was some storm yesterday, wasn't it?" Or, "I'm completely new to Tinder, just getting used to it. It's kind of a mixed bag, isn't it?" (for someone you saw on Tinder). Whatever. "I'm fairly new to this store. Is the quality of their (meat/produce/whatever) very good?" Anything. Just say something. Then be sure you can follow it up with another something, in case she responds well.
Anything. Just say something. Then be sure you can follow it up with another something, in case she responds well.
Yes! There isn't anyone watching and waiting to pull the switch for the trap door to open into the alligators below! What is the very worst that could happen, and can one get through the day after that? Of course. Some of us say 'crazy' things like "hey, how's it going?" all of the time and still survive!
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter
Because if I don't make it work I hate having to start all over again with another woman.
This is a problem. Embrace talking to people. Looking forward to making more connections. Dating is fun fun fun fun. If you're not having fun, you're doing it wrong, so make sure you're having fun doing it. New people, new connections, new conversations... if the chemistry is there the other stuff follows, if not, you've had good conversations and good laughs and met someone new.
This is a problem. Embrace talking to people. Looking forward to making more connections. Dating is fun fun fun fun. If you're not having fun, you're doing it wrong, so make sure you're having fun doing it. New people, new connections, new conversations... if the chemistry is there the other stuff follows, if not, you've had good conversations and good laughs and met someone new.
It all depends on what's available to you to date though. Some people can go out on 20 dates and all of them be relatively pleasant and have 2-3 people they're choosing between. Your locale and how open minded its citizens are is what's going to contribute to how many dates you go on.
Because if I don't make it work I hate having to start all over again with another woman.
Understandable. That can get very annoying. Especially if you're tired of the dating scene all together. I'm not particularly fond of the idea of meeting guy after guy trying find an ltr myself.
Personally I don't date around just to date. I will only date a man I know I already like. However, when you meet someone you like just relax. If it works out, cool, if not it's not the end of the world. Don't treat it as if it's a life threatening situation. Don't stress.
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Then be sure you can follow it up with another something, in case she responds well.
