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I feel like you missed a perfect opportunity to speak to the woman you'd been messaging.
If you're awkward and scared, that needs to be resolved first or its just wasting your time. Have you ever stopped to actually consider what it is you're afraid of?
1. I get a match, and this woman messages me and says "you the one daddy."
Maybe she pressed send before she completed her sentence:
You the one daddy (warned me about).
Just teasing, maybe she is weird, there are weird people everywhere, even here. Ask her what she meant, practice your conversation skills, who cares what a weirdo thinks...she may turn out to be fun to talk to!
Quote:
the thing feels awkward to me.
I haven't messaged her after a few weeks.
I spent the last two weeks mostly in my office
I accept it as she ain't interested.
I do what I can to avoid her because I don't want any awkward
I'm super awkward and scared to talk to women on a romantic level. I'm still trying.
I'm feeling awkward just reading your OP
You are missing the necessary confidence to get the girl interested! Figure out how to build your confidence, work on that. You need more experience, you may fail, so what!?
You have confidence online, on CD-R, you aren't afraid to say what you think, try and transfer that feeling to real life. Throw caution to the wind, "accidentally" be looking for an item in the same aisle as your tinder match, look surprised, smile and say: "oh hi!" It doesn't matter if there is anything else to say, you acknowledged her presence, you will appear to have the confidence of someone who can be in her 'league', what's to run from? You can be buying groceries if you want to for chrissakes, there's nothing embarrassing about the fact that you eat dinner! She's one woman in the world, she won't press changes if you acknowledge her. She won't hiss and run, if she recognizes you and feels like adding to the conversation, great!
Try it again!
Message the woman you matched and recognized, ask how her tinder experiences are going, practice talking to women, that's the only way it'll get any easier.
So I found out that while I have no problem taking up against any guy who messes with me or my friends, I'm super awkward and scared to talk to women on a romantic level. Don't know what the hell to do about it, but I'm still trying.
D, I've been single now for 10 years and I still have no idea why sometimes I'm chatty and confident with a guy and other times the conversation is slow and dull. Sometimes I'm flirty, sometimes I act like someone's mother (which I am). There seems to be no way to account for it: my mood, his mood, my conversational gambits or lack thereof, his conversational gambits or lack thereof, chemistry, the phase of the moon, how much we've had to drink. Sometimes I'm feeling awkward and self conscious, sometimes I'm not. There is just no way of predicting or controlling what is going to happen. Sometimes I'm just a tongue-tied dullard.
Congrats on getting out there and thanks for the update!
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,709 posts, read 41,864,960 times
Reputation: 41439
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea
Perhaps you are looking at women in an unrealistic light?
We're just people, Diss.
Nothing to be afraid of.
Talking to women when there is no romantic connotation is no big deal to me. When I try to talk to a woman romantically, I tend to put too much pressure on myself to keep her interested and not be boring.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,709 posts, read 41,864,960 times
Reputation: 41439
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011
I feel like you missed a perfect opportunity to speak to the woman you'd been messaging.
If you're awkward and scared, that needs to be resolved first or its just wasting your time. Have you ever stopped to actually consider what it is you're afraid of?
She had been fading out on me. I know perfectly well if I went over to her, that would scream stalker and creepy.
Talking to women when there is no romantic connotation is no big deal to me. When I try to talk to a woman romantically, I tend to put too much pressure on myself to keep her interested and not be boring.
I think this is normal. Just remember that the other person (women) probably feels the same way. At least realizing that helped me not be so nervous when I returned to dating.
It's not just Tinder, or the women, or you... there are weirdos out there - that's a life thing.
View this all as practice of a life skill, a real world classroom type of thing.
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Talking to women when there is no romantic connotation is no big deal to me. When I try to talk to a woman romantically, I tend to put too much pressure on myself to keep her interested and not be boring.
Be aware that in conversation, women will help you out, especially if it's in the context of a date, and they're at least mildly interested. Even if not interested, the polite ones will help keep the conversation going. The ones who don't try to help aren't worth worrying about or affecting your self-esteem about. Even in an out-in-public approach, decent people will be polite. They may cut it short, but they'll be polite. The rude ones you can file under "not decent people".
But I actually think you have a point in the case you bring up. You saw her on Tinder, you had an exchange, but she started fading out. If she wasn't interested, it would have been awkward for her to be approached in the store, IMO. Unless you just gave her a friendly, "hi, it's me", kept it short, and walked away. It would have been up to her to prolong the conversation if she decided she was interested after seeing you in person.
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Ask her what she meant, practice your conversation skills, who cares what a weirdo thinks...she may turn out to be fun to talk to!
