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I really don't think people change that drastically after marriage. Sometimes we just refuse to believe that people aren't what we want them to be. People will tell/show you who they really are if you pay attention
Why do most of men (not all of course) change after marriage? I mean stop taking their wives on date, being lazy to help her, usually being selfish, not appreciating her, being unsatisfied,stop trying to be nice and make her happy...
They get too comfortable.
I think it applies to both genders.
Sit around in sweats all day on the weekend with unkempt hair, they get out of shape, lack of personal hygiene.
Nowadays it is called depression or some other label - nobody is just plain lazy anymore or at fault for anything.
This happens with both husbands & wives. The wife who used to go on dates looking like a "10" who now wears no make-up anymore and wears sweats or yoga pants all the time. Who gains 25 pounds and does nothing to take it off. The man who doesn't shower the whole weekend and has a beer belly hanging over his pants and then wants to have sex Saturday night.
Unfortunately familiarity sometimes breeds contempt. We get too comfortable with each other. Some go to the bathroom in front of each or fart in the presence of the other. My husband and I were married 26 years and not once did we ever use the bathroom in front of each other or clip our toenails. Some things should be kept private and go a long way to keep the passion going in a marriage.
That said, most marriages do settle in to a way of being. That's not the cause of the man or the woman that's the combined participation of both parties involved.
I would say the deciding factor in people becoming complacent is a general lack of getting what they need to feel and be engaged.
That can be self made or that can be reactionary to another's actions and behaviors.
the answer you are searching for is in "why people bother to relate to others" in the first place. If you honestly want to understand I would urge you to read up on the logic behind human communication and why we "need" others.
Why do most of men (not all of course) change after marriage? I mean stop taking their wives on date, being lazy to help her, usually being selfish, not appreciating her, being unsatisfied,stop trying to be nice and make her happy...
Most men do not have intentions to change after marriage. It is just that women usually bond with those who are more likely to change.
The blending of two lives is not as easy as you think.
There is a lot of changes that happen when two people get married.
Yeah, the romance should continue. Sometime it's just forgotten.
I remember when I was dating my wife every time when I was leaving she would stand in the doorway and wave to me as I drove away. I really liked that. After marriage she never did it again.
And maybe the wife turned into a nag because her husband wouldn't take out the trash unless he was asked 5 times. Ditto for cutting the grass, helping around the house or with the kids. Wives don't usually turn into nags for no reason.
When I was dating my husband, he couldn't do enough for me. Volunteered to wallpaper my dining room, put down floors, etc. Once we got married I couldn't get him to make a phone call for me while I was at work (he worked from home and no cell phones then). After awhile you just give up and start doing everything yourself rather than deal with the passive-aggressive B.S. (yes, dear I will take care of it for you - only to find out they "forgot"). Then you either become a nag or resentful.
Yes, we all put on our best face when we are dating. Just depends on how much of a face we are putting on. I'm sure if he were still alive he would mention things about me that also changed.
One of the big reasons I will never marry again or even live with a man again. I just don't want to deal with any of it anymore.
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