Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Who looked after her daughter before you moved in?
I imagine you care for the child or you wouldn't have moved in to begin with. Still, it seems unfair to expect you to take on such a large role in her life. If your gf cries over clubbing, how will she respond over your request for personal boundaries and free time?
How does this child feel about you living there? Are you prepared to be there for life? If you're not sure, it will be better to move out sooner than later. Children don't understand adult dynamics.
I don't think there's anything wrong with a mom going out dancing once a month. And just because she wears sexy clothes doesn't mean she's out looking for another man, maybe she just likes feeling hot once and awhile. Having a kid doesn't mean you never get to have adult fun again. No one is giving out awards to mommy martyrs.
The babysitting seems to be the real issue. Maybe she can find another babysitter at least part of the week so you're not doing so much of the child care. Realistically though if you're living with a woman with a child you have to expect to do some of the child care. It might not seem fair but that's part of having a serious relationship with a single mother.
If you really love her and care about her child I think you can make it work if you compromise. Let's say she finds a sitter three nights a week and you watch the child two nights. If you don't really love her then it's probably best to leave now before the child gets too attached to you.
I agree with gemini , I feel bad for the little girl. She is probably attached to you by now this is the reason I would never move in a guy with me. I'm a single mom too and I would only date single dads. There is just no way a person without children knows or will understand how demanding being a parent is. It doesn't seem you are ready for the responsibility, and to some degree going clubbing every weekend feels wrong to me.
Are you planning to bring this up at all with her? You said she cried the last time you touched the subject, she should be able to have a serious conversation about this kind of stuff by now.
Just curious - what did you imagine things would be like before you moved in? How much did you and your gf talk about responsibilities before you did so? How often is she going clubbing?
You can take a good share of the blame, here, as it sounds as though no rational discussion was had before you took the leap. I'm sure you imagined many nights filled with great sex. How often did you imagine taking care of her daughter and cleaning up after the animals.
She can also take blame for using you, which is what she is doing. She's essentially taking a break from her responsibilities to rebuild the social aspect of her life. The longer you play house maiden, the more likely she is to lose respect for you.
I don't see a winning combination here, especially as it appears the two of you don't communicate well, if at all.
As a mom looking at this situation I would be more concerned for the little girl who is left alone with you for long periods of time. Single moms shouldn't be moving their boyfriends in with them until they have known the guy a long time and have had him checked out as much as possible.
It's all too common of a situation where the BF gets upset or annoyed at the kid and takes punishment a little too far or worse.
You need to sit down and have a talk with the GF. Talking to us might give you some ideas but it's not going to change the situation.
Sounds like she got herself a heck of a deal when she suckered you into moving in together. What do you get out of this deal? Your situation is why it's a bad idea to date single moms, especially in your twenties when there are tons of women without kids to pick from.
EXACTLY he is to blame 100%,he KNEW she had a kid,all this is simple DATE women with no kids!!
Simple as that..
And their TONS of single women out their!!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
this is the reason I would never move in a guy with me. I'm a single mom too and I would only date single dads. There is just no way a person without children knows or will understand how demanding being a parent is. It doesn't seem you are ready for the responsibility, and to some degree going clubbing every weekend feels wrong to me. 
