Have You Had Those "Important" Discussions with your SO? (single, older)
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I'm always curious how many couples, regardless of age, have sat down with each other and had a serious talk about "what would you do if?" issues, such as:
- What would you do if you survive your SO? Remarry or stay single?
- What would you do if your SO became permantently vegetative or comatose?
- What would you do if your SO became terminally ill and wanted to end their life rather than suffer? Would you support them? Would you be able to veto a doctor's decision concerning a life-support issue?
I know that, for me, we had talked about most of these issues many times over the years, so when the time came to put thoughts into action I've been pretty clear about my direction.
Yes, all that and much more. We have living wills, medical power of attorney, financial power of attorney, etc., etc. completed. It's not fun to think about, but so much less stressful to deal with before you're faced with the situation.
I suspect that many couples have these sorts of conversations when they get older. I know my Mother and StepFather have discussed their wishes regarding medical care now that they're both about 80 years old. Of course accidents and illnesses can happen at any age so it would be a very good idea to address those issues once your have a SO in your life. I don't happen to have a SO but I have been an IO (insignificant other) several times in my life so those matters weren't of any importance.
We have not really discussed anything at length although I do know if the time ever comes, that he wants to be cremated.
I won't remarry and he has said he wouldn't either (though I hope he does whatever would make him happy).
As far as living will's and medical directives...we haven't discussed it. I pretty much know how he feels about that with regard to himself.
He knows how I feel with regard to myself....truth be told though, if my parents aren't alive at that point I'd be nervous if he'd follow my wishes or fall under the influenece of his family. His family and mine have completely different views on these kind of issues.
I guess that's more the reason to sit down and discuss.
What do you think I would do if you decided you no longer wanted to work full time?
What do you think I would do if you always refused to clean the kitchen after I made a four-star dinner?
What do you think I would do if anytime I wanted to have mature, reality based discussion about our plans for the future as a couple, you would walk away from me?
What do you think I would do if you always were telling me to suck it up?
I'm always curious how many couples, regardless of age, have sat down with each other and had a serious talk about "what would you do if?" issues, such as:
- What would you do if you survive your SO? Remarry or stay single?
- What would you do if your SO became permantently vegetative or comatose?
- What would you do if your SO became terminally ill and wanted to end their life rather than suffer? Would you support them? Would you be able to veto a doctor's decision concerning a life-support issue?
I know that, for me, we had talked about most of these issues many times over the years, so when the time came to put thoughts into action I've been pretty clear about my direction.
Nope. We've only been together a year or so...I don't think it's important for us, at this time. In another few years, if we are still together, then we'll see.
Yes, all that and much more. We have living wills, medical power of attorney, financial power of attorney, etc., etc. completed. It's not fun to think about, but so much less stressful to deal with before you're faced with the situation.
We've done these thngs as well. It's comforting to know we're on the same page.
We've done a lot of this, and we're only in our early thirties. We've both had grandparents with Alzheimer's, grandparents who lost a spouse, etc. and have seen firsthand how important it is to figure this stuff out.
we have only talked about the second one. we have also talked about other stuff not listed here that are life/death issues. to be honest though, he doesnt like to get into it. i guess he thinks we will jinx ourselves and doesnt want to face it.
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