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]You mention OP has a legit concern in asking someone out and if she sees someone else she prefers she will dump him..... yes it's a remote possibility but a possibility nonetheless but to ask someone out and after she says yes then worry that you will be dumped is fearing the worst mate.
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I'm not actually saying you're wrong and was adding on to what you said for the OP to consider
I agree with this and anyway, when are there ever any guarantees? She could dump you even if she was initially attracted to you. Or you could think you want her (OP...or anyone), then after a few dates, meh, and you dump her. Or you could date for two years, become engaged, then one of you might call it off. If we only dated if there were a guarantee of the relationship going the distance nobody would ever date? There are NEVER guarantees, period. For either party.
Shallow physical preferences are not a big deal. But guys should be sure they're dating a woman who prefers men rather than women Occasionally a woman will try sausage rather than the tacos she prefers. That never turns out well for the involved parties.
The only time I have ever heard of such a thing is 1. on one of "those" sites or 2. anonymously, on some forum. "No, seriously, it's true! I know THREE FRIENDS this ACTUALLY happened to. For realz! It happens very frequently!" Yeah, hmmm-kay.
Why would a lesbian "occasionally try" a man? IMO that's the stuff of urban legend (and fantasy). I'm heterosexual. I can not imagine "trying" a vagina just because, well, heck, why not? Just...no. What in the actual hell for?
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
The only time I have ever heard of such a thing is 1. on one of "those" sites or 2. anonymously, on some forum. "No, seriously, it's true! I know THREE FRIENDS this ACTUALLY happened to. For realz! It happens very frequently!" Yeah, hmmm-kay.
Why would a lesbian "occasionally try" a man? IMO that's the stuff of urban legend (and fantasy). I'm heterosexual. I can not imagine "trying" a vagina just because, well, heck, why not? Just...no. What in the actual hell for?
You know, actually it isn't a legend. The best data for it comes from health providers and public health research. It was a assumed for a long time that lesbians only had sex with women, and gay men only had sex with men, and health care providers approached their advice with these assumptions. With further research, mostly in the mid to late 80s (AIDS crisis) these assumptions, with the aid of research, were completely turned on their heads and it had a significant effect on best practices for health care providers.
I won't get into the anecdotal (yes, I know straight women (not bi) that have sex with women, etc), but the research is out there. I just don't have research journal (lexus nexus, etc) right at the moment.
I agree with this and anyway, when are there ever any guarantees? She could dump you even if she was initially attracted to you. Or you could think you want her (OP...or anyone), then after a few dates, meh, and you dump her. Or you could date for two years, become engaged, then one of you might call it off. If we only dated if there were a guarantee of the relationship going the distance nobody would ever date? There are NEVER guarantees, period. For either party.
You know, actually it isn't a legend. The best data for it comes from health providers and public health research. It was a assumed for a long time that lesbians only had sex with women, and gay men only had sex with men, and health care providers approached their advice with these assumptions. With further research, mostly in the mid to late 80s (AIDS crisis) these assumptions, with the aid of research, were completely turned on their heads and it had a significant effect on best practices for health care providers.
I won't get into the anecdotal (yes, I know straight women (not bi) that have sex with women, etc), but the research is out there. I just don't have research journal (lexus nexus, etc) right at the moment.
Links to this data? Out of curiosity.
I have never in my entire life personally known a "straight" woman who had sex with women.
Again, why? There are A LOT of men out there.
I really think whatever "data" is out there is heavily (heeeeeeeeeeeeavily) padded by fantasy when later swapped around as "fact" on internet sites...just to give it all a boost. Trust me. I have been a woman for a very long time. I and my friends are not all sitting around feeling one another out of "curiosity" when the men are not around. (snort) OMG.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Originally Posted by JerZ
Links to this data? Out of curiosity.
I have never in my entire life personally known a "straight" woman who had sex with women.
Again, why? There are A LOT of men out there.
I really think whatever "data" is out there is heavily (heeeeeeeeeeeeavily) padded by fantasy when later swapped around as "fact" on internet sites...just to give it all a boost. Trust me. I have been a woman for a very long time. I and my friends are not all sitting around feeling one another out of "curiosity" when the men are not around. (snort) OMG.
They want to. Again, I don't have academic journal article access, so the research journals citations aren't at my disposal.
As the graph below (drawing from Tables 1 and 2) shows, 39% (37% + 2%) of gay men have had a female sexual partner sometime in their lives, whereas a much higher 59% (5% + 54%) of lesbians have had a male sexual partner sometime. The proportion of either gay men or lesbians who have ever had sex with other-sex sexual partners is much larger than the proportion of heterosexual men and women who have had sex with same-sex sexual partners. And it is much larger than the proportion of gays/lesbians who have had sex with an other-sex partner in the last year, 5% (3% + 2%) for men and 18% (5% + 13%) for women.
And I know more than a few straight women that have and do, in fact, most women I dated are straight and have. And some lesbians and gay men that have sex occasionally with the opposite sex as well.
And of course sites like womenshealth.gov address it as well, since it has public health impacts. But there are a number of public health studies published in peer review journals on this, since, as I'm sure you can understand it has public health impacts, especially in the STD area. Partly for this reason a lot of the public health documents have gotten away from straight, gay, etc labels, and toward WSW (women who have sex with women), MSM, etc since they address actions as opposed to orientation, which is often different.
Location: Phoenix, Arizona, USA, Earth, Solar System, Milky Way Galaxy, Dimension C-132
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Originally Posted by Jersey4Life
I'm talking mainly physical looks I suppose where if a woman prefers tall & muscular guys but would give the short & thin guy a chance is it ever really worth doing it for the guy or would he just be wasting his time? I just think I'd feel like I'm being settled for if she preferred tall & muscular when I'm short & also thin currently. I guess I just want to feel like the woman I'm with finds me just as physically attractive as I do her & not like she has to settle for me when I know she would prefer someone taller & in better physical shape. So is it ever worth it for a guy to get with a woman that isn't in her preferences?
I would never. If a woman is not sexually attracted to my type (the lanky rocker sort), it's a total waste of my time. I've already got friends that I don't bang. I don't need another.
As the graph below (drawing from Tables 1 and 2) shows, 39% (37% + 2%) of gay men have had a female sexual partner sometime in their lives, whereas a much higher 59% (5% + 54%) of lesbians have had a male sexual partner sometime. The proportion of either gay men or lesbians who have ever had sex with other-sex sexual partners is much larger than the proportion of heterosexual men and women who have had sex with same-sex sexual partners. And it is much larger than the proportion of gays/lesbians who have had sex with an other-sex partner in the last year, 5% (3% + 2%) for men and 18% (5% + 13%) for women.
And I know more than a few straight women that have and do, in fact, most women I dated are straight and have. And some lesbians and gay men that have sex occasionally with the opposite sex as well.
And of course sites like womenshealth.gov address it as well, since it has public health impacts. But there are a number of public health studies published in peer review journals on this, since, as I'm sure you can understand it has public health impacts, especially in the STD area. Partly for this reason a lot of the public health documents have gotten away from straight, gay, etc labels, and toward WSW (women who have sex with women), MSM, etc since they address actions as opposed to orientation, which is often different.
Most straight women that you've dated have had sex with other women?
Most?
p.s. Isn't this data regarding people who are actually gay, but are attempting to have hetero relationships anyway? Your straight woman "data" is entirely anecdotal, still..isn't it? But whatevs. If you literally want to believe MOST of us women have done other women, then...knock yourself out. I'm sure it's a stimulating thought, etc.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,054,579 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
Most straight women that you've dated have had sex with other women?
Most?
I have no idea whom you're dating or what they're feeding you in order to indulge what you want to hear but...Oh, never mind. (shrug)
The majority, yes.
And it isn't something I want to hear. It does nothing for me at all. Its weird that you think this is some fantasy thing, though I guess lesbian porn is something a lot of dudes are into, that does nothing for me either.
But it is quite common, thought plenty of people are not identifying more as heteroflexible.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
p.s. Isn't this data regarding people who are actually gay, but are attempting to have hetero relationships anyway? Your straight woman "data" is entirely anecdotal, still..isn't it? But whatevs.
There is plenty of research out there on both, lesbians and gay men having sex with the opposite sex, and straight men and women having sex with the same sex. Again, I hope you can understand how that especially during the AIDS crisis this became a significant research area.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
If you literally want to believe MOST of us women have done other women, then...knock yourself out. I'm sure it's a stimulating thought, etc.
I never said that I believe anything of the sort. And it isn't stimulating in any way except as a sociological interest (how orientation and actions are very different).
Last edited by timberline742; 12-12-2016 at 01:29 PM..
There is plenty of research out there on both, lesbians and gay men having sex with the opposite sex, and straight men and women having sex with the same sex. Again, I hope you can understand how that especially during the AIDS crisis this became a significant research area.
Since you simply can not or do not want to back up your assertions of "data being out there" with actual data (regarding straight individuals having sex with the same sex) as any sort of regular/typical thing as you claim to have personally encountered (i.e. "most" straight women you've dated have had sex with other women), and since this is veering farther and farther from anything even loosely helpful to the OP, I'm afraid this conversation is going nowhere, but thank you for answering, anyway.
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Occasionally a woman will try sausage rather than the tacos she prefers. That never turns out well for the involved parties.
