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A few weeks before Christmas I got that line out of nowhere.
Prior to that she was making travel plans with me, wanted me to meet her friends, etc. She couldn't keep her hands off me on dates. I figured she met someone else and I moved on but kept her on social media and stuff.
She keeps liking and commenting on all my social media accounts, and she texted me asking me advice, even invited me out for a casual dinner. I told her I had other plans and never offered another time. I'm not sure if I could go into it without asking her what went wrong, etc. I didn't really want to look clingy and weak.
Is there something there still or is she just dangling the carrot? I'd rather not be a backup plan. She is flying home for 4 weeks soon and will back in Feburary but dropped that line on me a couple weeks before Christmas and has been in town the entire time. I am really into her, but I wouldn't think she could be very into me if she can just drop me like a bad habit that quickly.
I'm not waiting around and have already went on quite a few tinder dates. I met one I click with and I'll continue seeing her. I've been keeping it pretty casual, I'm just trying to distance myself emotionally and not get attached anymore, I hate dating multiple people at once but I guess that's the only way to do it. People are too flaky.
And yeah, I never dated or talked to women In my teens or twenties but I've been working on myself a lot these past 5 years or so. Fixed my genetically messed up teeth, dressing nice, I'm kind of a fitness nut now and I have a very solid career. I'm pretty far behind the curve socially and dating wise, but trying to get it up to par!
A few weeks before Christmas I got that line out of nowhere.
Prior to that she was making travel plans with me, wanted me to meet her friends, etc. She couldn't keep her hands off me on dates. I figured she met someone else and I moved on but kept her on social media and stuff.
She keeps liking and commenting on all my social media accounts, and she texted me asking me advice, even invited me out for a casual dinner. I told her I had other plans and never offered another time. I'm not sure if I could go into it without asking her what went wrong, etc. I didn't really want to look clingy and weak.
Is there something there still or is she just dangling the carrot? I'd rather not be a backup plan. She is flying home for 4 weeks soon and will back in Feburary but dropped that line on me a couple weeks before Christmas and has been in town the entire time. I am really into her, but I wouldn't think she could be very into me if she can just drop me like a bad habit that quickly.
I'm not waiting around and have already went on quite a few tinder dates. I met one I click with and I'll continue seeing her. I've been keeping it pretty casual, I'm just trying to distance myself emotionally and not get attached anymore, I hate dating multiple people at once but I guess that's the only way to do it. People are too flaky.
And yeah, I never dated or talked to women In my teens or twenties but I've been working on myself a lot these past 5 years or so. Fixed my genetically messed up teeth, dressing nice, I'm kind of a fitness nut now and I have a very solid career. I'm pretty far behind the curve socially and dating wise, but trying to get it up to par!
So any advice would be awesome.
Happy New Year!
No, that's NOT the only way to do it. I've never done that.
If that happened to me, I would have asked, "Why? Did I say or do something wrong?" But then I'm a girl. Maybe guys don't do that.
And yes, I did say something like that to someone I was dating in Texas last year because he was moving way too fast for me. I wasn't ready for a serious relationship and he pretty much declared ownership of me. "You are mine," was something he kept telling me. He would not cool his heels, so I cooled them for him.
Is it too late to ask her why she put your relationship on hold for awhile?
No, that's NOT the only way to do it. I've never done that.
Not really the question I was asking, But I think that the best course of action for me so I can learn to pick up on social cues and practice.
And leaving the above out, I don't have many options. It's not like women line up to date me, so having a few casual relationships won't hurt anything. If things get serious with someone down the road I'll just back off the others.
I'd love to be able to put all my eggs in one basket but I get hungry when they all break!
If that happened to me, I would have asked, "Why? Did I say or do something wrong?" But then I'm a girl. Maybe guys don't do that.
And yes, I did say something like that to someone I was dating in Texas last year because he was moving way too fast for me. I wasn't ready for a serious relationship and he pretty much declared ownership of me. "You are mine," was something he kept telling me. He would not cool his heels, so I cooled them for him.
Is it too late to ask her why she put your relationship on hold for awhile?
I asked why and she said she's not ready and needs to be alone. Something about her ex of 2 years cheating on her, which was over a year ago. Seemed like she was just trying to spare my feelings. Why would she date me in the first place then?
Then ball is in her court. In the past I would've asked but I attribute that to begging for her attention now, and I simply won't do that. I want someone to be as interested in me as I am in them.. Maybe I moved too fast too. I didn't claim to own her anything but I did contact her daily and maybe it was too much. I fell for her pretty fast.
I asked why and she said she's not ready and needs to be alone. Something about her ex of 2 years cheating on her, which was over a year ago. Seemed like she was just trying to spare my feelings. Why would she date me in the first place then?
Then ball is in her court. In the past I would've asked but I attribute that to begging for her attention now, and I simply won't do that. I want someone to be as interested in me as I am in them.. Maybe I moved too fast too. I didn't claim to own her anything but I did contact her daily and maybe it was too much. I fell for her pretty fast.
I guess you need to ask yourself if you are interested enough in her to be willing to take things more slowly then. If you do, ask her for coffee and ask her if the time apart helped clarify her feelings for you. Let her know you want to take this relationship to another level if she is ready. But do be ready to respect her wishes. We don't all travel at the speed of light!
Thanks guys - I may try the coffee approach after she gets back depending on how I feel at that time. If I'm over it I may just go into it casually and see what transpires. See if she brings it up, if not.. I like coffee.
But yeah, kinda sounds like it's over and she's just being polite with all the social media stuff and inviting me to dinner.
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