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I am (35 years old) in a relation with a 47 years old guy divorced with one child whom is living in another country. He is a very good man and a gentleman. We are a lot different (For example I like music and dancing, he likes to read and explore)but we communicate very well and we are fun together.
We have been together over 5 months and we love each other’s.
He has one issue that he has fear from failure and that I will not love him later on because he thinks that he is not a relation guy material and that he is an annoying guy. He is always careful not to annoy people around him. He has fear of rejection coz he didn’t succeed before and I’m his last chance here. He wants this relation to work but he doesn’t know how. He loves family and kids.
He is living alone for a long time and his parents were not on good terms together.
He thinks he needs a lot of time to commit to be sure that I’m the right person for him
I know he has issues with himself and his past but I don’t know what should I do? Give it some more time and wait? Try to help him to overcome his fears but how?
Although I don’t want to be losing my time and energy and in the end he is not a marriage material.
Any idea?
Well, let's think about what "marriage material" means.
For one thing, in order to be married to someone, ideally they would be a secure and confident adult who did not need you to carry them emotionally through life.
He sounds extremely insecure, which is something that you can do NOTHING about. Unless he takes time and makes effort to help himself with that and his so-called fear of failure, you need to consider whether you can be happy with him exactly as he is right now for the rest of your lives.
At 5 months, it's too early to make that call, honestly. Between his emotional state and the fact that you don't have a lot in common, it sounds like an uphill battle. Give it some more time and see what you think.
You are putting too much pressure on him for marriage.
Just enjoy your relationship. Two years should be a good time frame before looking for marriage. Imo
I'm surprised to hear you guys live together already.
Im not putting pressure on him. We just communicate about what we think.
Two years is too long for me. i will be 37 years. i dont want to get married soon but at least i dont want to get attached and lose my time and we are not living together. He is living alone.
Im not putting pressure on him. We just communicate about what we think.
Two years is too long for me. i will be 37 years. i dont want to get married soon but at least i dont want to get attached and lose my time and we are not living together. He is living alone.
Oh, I misunderstood you. You said 'he lives with me' in this country.
You want kids? Is that your timeline for marriage or something? I mean, he's been down the marriage road before and probably isn't in a hurry to get on it again any time soon it seems.
Oh, I misunderstood you. You said 'he lives with me' in this country.
You want kids? Is that your timeline for marriage or something? I mean, he's been down the marriage road before and probably isn't in a hurry to get on it again any time soon it seems.
Yes i want kids and a family and i told him that first day we met. i dont want to be stuck with a loser. i am very honest and i know what i want. He knows that and he always confuses me what he wants.
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