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Take matters in your own hands. My friends wife didn't care what her husband said. She wanted a third child. She got it and then their marriage fell to pieces. The husband resented her stubbornness and the way she made the decision by herself. Get a vasectomy, then the subject is closed.,
I'm done and don't really see anything good that can some from a third except more stress and frustration.
I have even offered a compromise that we can have more kids but need to move to another state where a 4 bedroom house doesn't cost us 700K+. This was immediately shot down due to family ties where we currently live.
This is the tragedy of marriage for men: She gets her way, He has no say -- but must pay the bill for her decisions.
In my opinion going through with a third child would only work IF both of you agree. Since you don't want another child my answer is DON'T HAVE ANOTHER.
I think you need to make it clear to your wife that you don't want any more children and hold your ground. You will likely resent it if you agree only to make your wife happy. As stated, a child is a huge commitment.
I don't think you should have a vasectomy without your wife knowing - that would lead to trust issues.
Sorry I can't help you with your wife. Good luck.
I wouldn't be in favor of having a secret vasectomy either. The problem is a conflict of interest if the wife is solely responsible for birth control as she's the one wanting another baby. Does the OP want to use condoms forever? Of course putting his foot down may mean no more sex anyway? Regardless, something that will work for the long term will be needed.
What is her earth-shattering reason for having a third kid when you're content with two? Have you had both boy and girl or both boys? If both boys, she may desire a daughter, but still not a very strong one if it'll make life difficult for the family as a whole. Even number of kids hang out better as a family too. If you feel strongly about being done with kids, discussing your feeling with her and have a vasectomy to make sure no oopsie will happen.
One boy and one girl..... I would completely understand the reason if we had 2 boys or girls.
A family of 4 works nicely in most scenarios. Adding that 5th person to the family adds to the expense and effort.
With 4:
You all fit in a sedan instead of a minivan or SUV with a 3rd row.
You all can sleep in one motel room with two double beds.
The four of you fit in a standard table or booth at a restaurant.
Four people can pair off at an amusement park to ride rides (or not).
It's literally going from man-to-man to a zone defense.
To me, if either parent has serious doubts, it should not happen. You already know that raising kids is rough enough when you're both on board.
The decision on a third kid is not a compromise. Either you have one, or you dont. If you were talking about a first baby, then I could see where the decision would sway her way, especially if you didnt talk before marriage about not having kids. But when you already have 2 kids, its not a matter of compromise anymore. Its her way or your way. Now she already has 2 kids, her way. Maybe its now time for your way.
Unfortunately, she's in the drivers seat, unless you stop sleeping with her.
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