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I tend to think there is someone for everyone, They think they are perfectly normal but their patterns of behaviour push people away.
Bingo! It took me 4 decades to find that someone online and I am married to him. My own family can't stand me.
But I remain true to myself. My husband accepts me for who I am and I, the same. When I was eternally single. I said I want to find someone whom I would have no inhibitions. Because I have always been guarded in EVERYThing. Especially my emotions.
My husband gave me that. No more inhibitions. So I hope ya'll can find that one too in your lives.
Is it possible that someone could have a personality that makes them unlovable? I specifically mean someone that is happy with the way that they are and not looking to change themselves. But in every relationship, they are being asked to change?
Wouldn't it make sense that someone would love this person for who they are?
I know for me, they all dislike something about me. But this is a struggle because I am happy with me and have no desire to pretend to be someone else, just to be in a relationship. I am not good at change and jumping through hoops.
I probably should just quit the soul searching.
Be you, but relationships do take a little bit of adjustments.
Compromise is essential in a relationship. How do we go about compromising? Usually through change.
Change is not necessarily a bad thing. You can change by diminishing those things about yourself that you find less than attractive and enhancing those things that you feel good about. We will all change as we age. That is inevitable.
This whole 'I have to be myself' thing has been a bit overdone in my opinion. What does that even mean? There are definitely core values that we must share with a potential partner in order to have compatibility, but for the most part stepping outside of our comfort zone and growing/changing is often a very good thing.
Compromise is essential in a relationship. How do we go about compromising? Usually through change.
Change is not necessarily a bad thing. You can change by diminishing those things about yourself that you find less than attractive and enhancing those things that you feel good about. We will all change as we age. That is inevitable.
This whole 'I have to be myself' thing has been a bit overdone in my opinion. What does that even mean? There are definitely core values that we must share with a potential partner in order to have compatibility, but for the most part stepping outside of our comfort zone and growing/changing is often a very good thing.
I have to agree with this. Of course you shouldn't have to compromise your core values to make anyone happy but we all have unpleasant aspects of our personality that we can work on improving.
To me usually when someone says they don't sugar coat anything it means that they're overly opinionated and sometimes rude. Not everyone wants to hear brutal honesty all of the time. If I ask you “do you like my new outfit" and you tell me “to be honest your butt looks huge in those jeans" you might think you're being a good friend by being honest and I think you're being mean. Sometimes it's ok to keep your opinion to yourself.
I'm not perfect, I'm super impatient and that's something that I need to keep in check. If I want to make a relationship work with anyone I can't blow up every time someone is a few minutes late or doesn't do something exactly when I want it done.
I don't think anyone is unlovable but I do think that if you're running into the same relationship problems over and over again you need to take a good look at yourself and the men you are choosing to figure out why your relationships keep failing. Like someone else said, losers aren't just picking you, you are choosing to be with losers. Why?
I myself am drawn to broken men so I do understand to some extent. I view myself as damaged and like attracts like. I am also a caretaker at heart and feel the need to care for men that have been hurt and unloved. I don't know why, we all have stuff to figure out. Good luck!
You have started a lot of threads and when people have answered you, you disagree.
You say you are soooo awesome even your shrink said you are perfect.
I didn't see the guys you posted about here, on your list.
You do things that are not relationship conducive and complain when the guy won't accept it.
You are not "lowonluck" you are "lowonmakinggooddecisions"
You've posted how ALL your friends can't understand why you are single, and THEY think you are great!! Now you say they don't like you?
I have to ask why you ask questions here, you follow no advice and argue everything.
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And didn't you say you wait with dating until your kids are older?
She also mentioned being tired of guys using her and getting milk for free, thus waiting until marriage to have sex again. But that flew out of the window when she dated her last hot, body-builder, sex-addict Christian boyfriend. lol
So no surprise the "Not dating again for a while" deal didn't work.
Also agreed with Mikala43 100%. The things LOL is looking for just isn't realistic. And she's uncompromising because she thinks compromising is the same thing as changing yourself and being controlled by someone. So, she expects a man
1. to put up with her crap, and let her do as she please, while he makes no complaints
2. Limit sex to a couple of times a week
3. Do the chores and watch her 2 kids
4. Step into the father role straight away, bringing men around her kids she's only been with a few weeks
5. Hangs out with tons of ex boyfriends, who by her own admission want to bang her, and one who sexted her late at night.
6. She wants the strong take-no-crap man, who handles everything around the house, and does chores and kids, BUT who doesn't oppose her in any way.
The list goes on.
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